Mindless musings 2 ~ From a Nomad's diary

The past few weeks have been unbelievably roller costar. And, I have ranted enough about it. In those days, I figured out a couple of things. Starting with which, I hate potatoes and I love cheese. And, when this ‘hate-love’ subjects come together, they create magic! I was into a heavy binge phase in the past few days and realized that my body reciprocated their love by storing them in the parts of the body, better not mentioned. Not that I suddenly became overweight or something, but yes, the lethargy that has set in is beginning to question my agility! The brighter side is, I am back to what I am, feisty and fiery! The desire that threatened my health is thankfully gone.

We celebrated Holi today and it felt good, despite the fact that I do not like the festival much. It is not the colors entirely, but the way they are splashed around. Nevertheless, we played it here and my son enjoyed a lot. After having stayed in water for long, he came out shivering. Of course, what did you expect son? And, making him to stand in the Sun till he dried was becoming insanely difficult with ladies jumping at every given opportunity to advice me on what I should be doing – “Oh! He will fall sick! Why is he shivering so much? Did you not bring him some clothes?” etc…. It is at such times, I feel exhausted trying to be tolerant to people who are plain sly, passing carefully cameflouged snide remarks about the parent that I was, uncaring and unloving. If people just minded their business, this world would be more tolerable. I believe so. And after eating two plates of cake, sitting in the warmth of the sun later, with all the shivering gone, my son was ready to climb a banyan tree! What I am saying is, people! I know my son well enough and I take good care of him. And guess what, I just cannot help feeling a sense of pride when I speak what I feel like. Because, I just did today.

That said, I hate cliques. I hate them really. I find them to be dumb, nasty and clownish. It is as if each of them is alive only when in a group and the rest of the times, they are plain dysfunctional. Whatever, cliques bring out the blues in me. Hubby keeps advising me that cliques need to be dealt with tact, something which I feel, I severely lack. Maybe, I am not as emotionally intelligent as him because, he does have a way with words (something that I have not learnt from him yet). I have never flipped on most occasions (a few perhaps I have) but now I know a thing for sure. I cannot be tactful in all situations, even though that is the logical requirement of the hour. And I know why. Sometimes, it is better to be blunt than to parade as tactful. Not many have the intellect to understand the tact. And some people just walk all over you thinking you are gullible to their comments on your lifestyle. Sometimes, the other person has to know where to stop poking their nose and when to stop giving advice. And I tell myself, “Accept girl! You are spoilt rotten!” Why? Because I met gem of people in the previous place, that I feel a bit lost here. Not because people aren't good here. They are nice, very nice. But they judge way too much and their judgments are anything but silent. Sometimes, the sting hurts. Other times, it amuses. But then, this is life and I might as well accept it as it is.

As for the rest, I am waiting to get back home to my parents for a while as hubby is going out for 3-4 months. How I have missed home food! Sigh! Parents are God’s gift. You fall back on them every time you are in distress. I understand the challenges my parents might have faced, while raising me. It is not easy being a parent, especially when your child is going to be influenced more by the outside world than by his inner circle. Very few are exceptions in this regard. I for one, had extremely opposite and strong views about anything and everything a few years back. I was like a dynamite waiting to explode at every given argument. There were even times I could not agree on anything with my mother. We have had our fair share of arguments and fights with her declaring curfew whenever friends planned some outing late evening. Those times, I was angry with her for not letting me in my element or space. When I was working, it was my dad’s turn to squirm loud enough, each time I told him that I am sleeping over at a friend’s place or am going on a long drive with friends or am going for a weekend break to a beach. Later post engagement, hubby and my dad both used to frown from their respective states if I mentioned that I would be reaching home late in the night. Well, it has taken me some whites on my head to understand the depth of their concern as today I felt ticked when my son was refusing to cooperate with me on more than one instances while playing Holi and it was those very few instances that got many tongues wagging at how I couldn't handle my son. Parenting is no easy game and every child is different. So, is every parenting style then. Well, that said I am looking forward to the many challenges that await me as a parent. Bring it on, is all I can say.

Schools these days are like business centers. Itne me itnaich milenga types! I am not a teacher by degree. But I have taught in a school for a month and the children I taught were such gems. I loved them and they loved me. They just adored me and I could sense their urge to improve as I loved encouraging them. In all this, I understood one thing. Not all kids are the same. No two kids are the same. There are the fast ones. You give them a problem and they solve it even before you complete the question. There are the smart ones. They think before answering and thereby, answer correctly.  Following which, there are the sly ones that take great pleasure in complaining about the others lest I ask about their progress. Then, there are the ones who love to ape and just ape. And finally, there are the slow ones, who for some reason show little interest in keeping up with the class. I remember having spent a great deal of time with two such kids. The first week was entirely futile as both the kids did not trust me (I was new then). The second week, they warmed up by listening to me but yet, they won’t just write anything I asked them to. The third week, I started sensing a very teeny weeny success when one of them wrote something (that was wrong) and came up to me and asked if it was right. I was elated and I explained him how to write the numbers correctly. He used to write a mirror image of many numbers and alphabet (something my son does too). The other one too gradually responded. Now, the question is why to write off such students as slow. My point is a school needs to take a more delicate stand towards students who are loners or, rather different. Instead of complaining about the students not making progress, give the children some tasks that will motivate them to keep up with the class. I remember an instance when I choreographed an event with the class and I was told that not all students could participate. Not letting a child participate leaves a not so good impact on a child. My entire class worked as a team and their performance was applauded the most on the day of event.

When I talk about my class, I cannot help mentioning about this silent yet cherubic barbie doll Christina, who would just not mingle with anyone and would leave the class on a whim! Later, I observed the clique formation started at a very young age and she felt left out. And, she had a strange way of venting her frustration. She would take my permission to go to the washroom and will not turn back for hours. My assistant teacher remarked, “She is like that only. We have tried many times but she doesn't listen.” I tried talking to her but she eluded my questions. The drama continued for a week and then, the next week when she asked to go to the washroom, I said, “Ok. Christina. You can go. But tell me will you come back? Will you promise me that you will be back?” She saw me through the eye, smiled slightly, nodded very inconspicuously and started going, not before I added, "If you don’t come back as you said, you will make me sad because you promised me. You won't break my trust, will you?” Ever since that day, she never bunked classes. Next day, she got me some flowers, did her class work well and ate well too. She wasn't slow. She was just moody. Sometimes, children need attention and they need individual attention. Maybe, teachers need to stop branding students and rather, work that extra ten percent in understanding the child. You may not get extra bucks for it. But trust me, the efforts are worth it!

My son loves water so much that even after having suffered bouts of shivering after having frolicked in the pond, refused to leave the bathroom until all the lukewarm water was used up to remove the colors from his face. Result is that he is the only person among us who is as clean from all colors and hubby and I are still 'red' faced! After a good lunch, they dozed off. Well, these are the afternoons I crave for, when hubby and son nap and I write. I do not get much time to write regularly and had there been a TV, I may have forgotten my writing space altogether. That explains why I am writing so much these days, or rather ranting about the place and its people to my close friends and family. (smiles wickedly!) Jokes apart, writing is therapeutic. It makes me feel a lot better and a lot lighter (not physically of course. Wish if exercising fingers could aid in weight loss). Now, I want to read a lot of books. Because, books understand you the way no one does. At least, I would like to believe so. There is a lot on my list. Let’s see how things fructify, from no on. Till then, God help me become a little more thick-skinned, a little more humorous and a little more patient with time and surroundings! Sigh!        

Sneering best friends ~ From a nomad's diary

I remember having laughed hard when I saw Bruce being gobsmacked and cornered at every given instance, that he thought was designed by God. I laughed hard. I mean, Jim Carey is an amazing actor. And, Morgan Freeman seemed to be a cool God! Yeah, I think so. God must be cool like Morgan Freeman, is he? Well, he is super cool because Murphy happens to be his best friend. And currently, the latter has clearly found a target and is vindictively pursuing it. And worse, both happen to be sneering at the target!

Apparently, there are many things going on (not the way, they should) and the variables are just piling up. Even if there was a way to go one at a time, there is already ten more standing at the door to let know that, the problems have arrived! Somewhere, the optimist in me is shaken by the sudden (or presumably anticipated) turn of events. I mean God, seriously, it is not a great feeling to be home hopping once every month. Over and above, the plethora of weird suggestions from people whose turfs have been supposedly greener, just rubs the salt on the wounds. And, advice always comes when you least need it. Believe me! But then, maybe, the problems are just appearing big. Maybe. However, the most unsettling feeling arises when time fails you in every way possible. The moment you think you are getting to know somebody, that somebody becomes a nobody. The moment you believe that you actually like a place (after a lot of pumped in optimism), the place fails you miserably. The moment you see a ray of hope flickering in all this bedlam, there is a strong gush of wind trying to douse it. And, the villain in all chaos is the uncertainty that lurks around.

“God, if there has to be some good in all this, just help me seek that!”

And, while writing this post, I just devoured a plate of fried cheese corn nuggets. Hubby will be very  angry if he finds out and that would be for two reasons: A, I had them all without sharing with him (Not exactly, he was sleeping then!) and B, We had got it for guests who may arrive in a couple of days (not sure though). As for my son, he hates cheese corn nuggets. He prefers chicken or something like that, which we consciously do not buy. I have absolutely no regrets. I love cheese and corn, It is a great combo. And most importantly, they boost your mood. Atleast I am feeling better. By the way, did I tell you that it rained today as well? Talking about some good things now, the only one good thing that has happened in the last week was our visit to Best Price (a Walmart franchise). I loved the store. It is well equipped and huge. Basically, it is a warehouse! I got a dinner set and some fancy bowls and trays. It was clearly happy shopping until the moment I discovered at the cash counter that someone had flipped things from my basket.  Lessons learnt : Don’t leave your basket unattended. And don’t go minutes before closing time. This is what happens.

I hope to write something good about this place. But then, this place has to be nice to me, FIRST! Until then, I am saying this to myself every now and then - 

Of conspiracies and designs. ~ From a Nomad's diary

“When you make a decision, the whole world conspires to make it happen."

One more way of looking at it is,

“When you make a decision, the whole world just conspires!!"

I am beginning to wonder at the depth of such statements. And let me tell you why. Some instances in life force you to question the intent, the pulse and everything around. Sometimes, nothing makes sense. Or, it might be making sense but you just don’t get it!

There are just too many ways to get lost in the intricately woven web of complexities by people, when life on the other hand could have been simpler sans all the drama. Hell, I could probably write a post like 10 ways to complicate life, which should not be difficult as I come across many who can teach the world about it. But then, that is entertainment of sorts. What bothers me however is the uncertainty about certain things, when answers are crucial. Honestly, I do not know how it would feel otherwise as I have majorly rode through uncertain phases in life. And right now, I need a change from this because, am not enjoying it. What feels worse, is to feel ‘puppet string’-ed by people in a position of power. who at the end of the day reward you with nothing but, uncertainty. I sometimes think, how can they sleep in peace, knowing for a fact that their decisions can alter a design of someone else's life. What is it after all, a conspiracy or a design?

Sometime back, I had a chat with my father about the many issues making rounds on our turf. I asked him casually if he had gone through times when a yes or a no could have changed many things for better or, for worse. As usual he took his time to reply and this is what he told me, “Countless!! There have been too many to remember. There were times when we needed a certainty and life gave us exactly the opposite. Maybe, those uncertainties were designed in a way to make me what I am today, self made and resilient. Believe me, it is nature’s design. Conspiracy is what your head has cooked for you. It may or, may not be true. But, designs of destiny is the one and only truth, you need to believe in. Just stop speculating on what you have no control. Everything will fall in place gradually. For now, try enjoying the chaos.”

For me, hearing my father speak is therapeutic. For a while, it feels good too. But, the present does have a way of clouding judgments about the manner in which events might unfold. That said, the mixed feelings about an uncertain period are not going away any soon.  All I can hope for is, something good will happen. Hope and Faith are all I am banking on.

Sigh!!

This and that!! ~ From a nomad's diary

“What on earth does ‘elo meno p’ mean?? It is L M N O P!!”, I am tired of explaining this to my son every single day!! I am not sure if that is how they teach in school. Unfortunately for me, my son has more faith in the teachers (a good thing I thought so), than on me. But then still, what in the hell, does that ‘elo meno p’ mean after all?? Arrrgghhhh!! And, pre primary schools won’t give me a job because I don’t have a certificate that asserts that I can teach toddlers!! I mean, seriously??

I am tired of being the mobile finder in the house. Anything if not found, ask the lady of the house. It is her duty after all, to know which thing can be found in which of the unlikeliest places!! For instance, whenever hubby asks me to get his mobile or wallet or the car keys, he also gives me a location where I know for a fact, that I will not find any of it there, for sure! My son displaces my watch every single day (even if I manage to change its location everyday) and then, watches me ransack the whole place for it (I cannot do without one!!). It is only after my house is upside down, he gets up, retrieves it and gives it to me!! What fun must that be, right??

The homework episodes are crazy. Everyday practice at his age is crucial as even a miss of a day ‘s work induces enough inertia and disinterest in him, to demotivate him from studying further. And so, when I ask him nicely to finish his homework, he leaves no stone unturned in bringing the blues in me! It is only when I shout and reprimand him in the sternest of my tones (am sure my voice reaches many places around where I live), he finishes it in a jiffy! Once he is done with his homework, it is I who breathes easily! Yes, I did it!! But my son does not forget anything unpalatable. So he makes sure that he 'repeat telecasts' all of it when hubby is home....."Dad.....you know mom scolded me today".....and definitely does not forget to call up my mother and say....."paati, amma inniki enna aducha!!"  Did I mention, how I always wanted to be a villain in my childhood??

Sometimes, I ask my mom if I was difficult as a toddler. She quips after some thought, ”No. you became difficult later!!” So I asked her, “So, by corollary, is my son supposed to be easy when he grows up??” Her look was enough to tell me that I had dropped my brains somewhere!! As a grandparent now, her answers are diplomatic. I cannot get whether her yes is a no or, her no is a yes.

Why do people feel that, I am offered jobs in a platter?? Every single soul around tells me to apply for a job. What makes them think, I haven’t?? And, if I have not got one yet, the questions turn into a gigantic heap of advice. “You must complete this course, you know” and blah blah!! Yeah, right! I did not know that! The bottom line is everyone around is making it sound as if, being a homemaker is synonymous with being useless and that, before I become useless useless, I should do something about it!! Now here is what I think. People who think they are busy with a job are actually busier doing whatsapp and what not..during their office hours. People, I pretty much know what to do with my life. My priorities are crystal clear for the moment! God!! Who, is this world kidding?? 

That was enough for a day, I suppose!! All that said, all my woes disappear the moment when my son wraps his arms around my neck and asks me to sing a song to him or say stories in the night or, when hubby casually remarks, "you are getting fitter, with each passing day". Yes, as a mother and as a wife, I get perturbed when the discipline of the house goes haywire. But then, I don't forget to remind myself that life is indeed, beautiful!!

P.S: I just finished writing this and what do I find?? My son has nicely wiped his mouth on my kurti after having chavanprash, this morning!! Boys will be Boys. Sigh!!

And, acceptance takes over.....finally!! ~ From a Nomad's diary

I am now officially completing a month in the new station. Time flies. Right? Wrong!! I understood Einstein’s theory of relativity, "When a man sits with a pretty girl for an hour, it seems like a minute. And let him sit on a hot stove for a minute and that, may seem like more than an hour!!"(except the first half is not applicable for me, but the second half is). The last three weeks were the craziest and the longest 'month' of my life, speaking of which I felt trapped in a jungle with no particular directions towards feeling good. (Practically, I am stationed in a jungle of sorts where I get to see peacocks, stags and warthogs!!). Nevertheless, the acceptance has finally gotten over the rebellion in me, which at some instant in the past few weeks, had felt like rushing back to hometown and spending a while there until we got a permanent accommodation. When I had mentioned this to my busy bee hubby over a breakdown, he listened patiently and then said something that awakened a dormant verve in me, “Sweetheart, I won’t stop you if you do not like this place. But isn't that tantamount to running away from a problem? And, I have never seen you running away from something you couldn't face in the first go.” Of course, he had touched the nerve of resilience in me, over which I had always maintained a pride. And I sat back and thought over, “what am I really complaining about? That, I did not have neighbors at all? That, I do not like the mundane routine of life? And that, this place is colder than the previous station and is drab?” Of course, I had many things to be glad about. First being, married to a man who strengthens me with his charm and sagacity each time I buckle under pressure. And second, my son whose smile makes me forget all my woes. And, when I have such amazing men in my life, I better be thanking the Almighty for my blessings.

Well, now I am slowly adjusting to the growing demands of the new place and its people. Hubby and I conducted a formal event here and am glad, I did it despite the un-happening and demoralizing rehearsals!! The event was a success finally and that, has given me a boost of morale in a place where I thought, I would not be making even acquaintances. I have had my moments of awkwardness here. Of course, Nina the great cannot be making no mistakes. During the dinner of the event, I had tried cutting the bati with my fork and spoon and, the cardinal mistake of not having used a knife in place of spoon led to the flying of one half of the bati (I know not where and did not want to know where). I quickly covered up the shame by popping the other half into my mouth quickly! Now, I know the other three ladies (two of whom were seniors) pretty much noticed my bati fiasco but chose to ignore it as I am the baby of the station until a new bait gets trapped. The second blunder I made, was wearing heels for the event(something which I had stopped after my son was born). Apparently, I earned a severe back ache for having worn a footwear out of desire that superseded my comforts! Lessons learnt – Comfort is priority any day.

There are many events getting lined up in the unit. The welfare of the jawan’s families falls on the shoulders of the army wives (it is a moral responsibility of sorts). And so, I know for a fact that unit life is no cake walk after all. It is a test that will keep coming back. At this stage however, I just hope this phase of unrest too shall pass as am keeping fingers crossed for two wishes:        

• One, need a permanent accommodation soon so that I can set up my kitchen completely and can sharpen my culinary skills.
• Second, I wish to be remembered for the good things I do here and not for the goof ups I am more likely to make when pressure mounts.

My wishful thinking has no end. As of now, am back to what I always am, before the unraveling of my awesome personality begins- 

Anyways, signing off for now, until I come back with something to better to vent out on……

Ciao!!

Rudely shocked or to outgrow the hurt? ~ Mind-full musings

Today morning I had posted a message on Face Book that came back a few hours later to let me know of a mistake I happened to make without understanding it to be a mistake. I am not sure if the fit of the moment made me go red with shame or blue with anger, but for that precise moment when I was reprimanded for a situation I put myself in, my mind went blank. Perhaps, my physical mind was urging me and almost convinced me for a moment there, that I could not be admonished for something that I had already accounted for. The anger was purging up as the person who had targeted me did not for a second, consider my side of the story. The mind was playing even murkier games as the feeling of being cornered, the feeling of being judged by people who had no relevance in my matters and the feeling of being branded snobbish even by people who I was just getting introduced to, was not really savory. It took me a while to understand my own mind games that almost brought me to an extent where tears would have probably flown out invoking unsolicited empathy from people around and worse, getting incited all the more.

I would not say, am not affected by the above incident. I am. I am a human after all. More so, it has been the first time since my school days when I have been reprimanded for an accidental situation that seemed to make a simple matter way too complicated for me. And today when I was caught in this awkward situation (thanks to my own screwed up judgment of having overlooked the lapses caused by me in certain aspects of my duties), I was caught off guard when the volley of words struck me even as I could not figure out how it all started. I suddenly became a shammer!! Or, am I really?

And, for those precise moments, my mind went wild with unruly thoughts. "I have been doing my level best to make things work in all aspects for me and my subordinates. But then, I am tired of playing a diplomat all the time. I am tired of choosing my words, every time I want to speak. I am tired of editing the words in my head lest they gush out unfiltered. I am tired of being too careful all the time. I am just tired of not being able to discuss matters as freely as before. I am tired of the pretension, despite the mask that holds on to my face like a parasite and refuses to go away when I badly want to be heard the way I speak. Sometimes, I feel my personality is undergoing a phase shift of 180 deg and I am barely able to relate to the person I once was."

But then, maturity comes with roadblocks. And this was my lesson today. I had two choices in hand. Either I could have cribbed about my predicament and probably tried to nail the person responsible for my ‘humiliation’ (Of course, which grown up likes to get scolded in public?) OR I could dig back into my situation and see for myself the places I might have possibly gone tactically wrong and think about rectifying those. Thankfully, I want to move ahead from this fiasco and this is what the post is all about.

In retrospect, when I look back at the hard times I faced in life, I just figured out that I have faced far worse fears one of them having battled a medical condition that was on the verge of taking me away from my family, my world. And it is here, I feel I need to outgrow the feeling of becoming too comfortable with life. I need to become more thick skinned to the insidious motives of acerbic tongues and assuming minds. After all, Life is always going to throw curve balls. If I have crossed almost 30 years of my life with a lot of jigsaw hurdles, all I can say is, I am prepared to battle some more as usual J 

And yes, the message I posted holds entirely true for me on this day!! Boy, do I love social networking or what!

"I dream of Jeannie!!', so dreams the home maker ~ From a nomad's diary

And, I dream of Jeannie every single day. Back in school, I wished for this Jeannie (from the famous sitcom - I dream of Jeannie) to get me ready for school in a jiffy instead of me being dragged away groggy eyed, from the cozy warm bed (some times, rudely awakened by a splash of cold water on the face, exactly half an hour before the arrival of my school bus). Later, when I was in hostel, I wished for this beauty to be by my side, to get over with digital circuit and microprocessor practical. (Somehow, those subjects always failed me, not that I failed in them, but never could cross from a Bravo to an Alpha!!). And then during my working years (yes I am a humble home maker for the time being), I wished that she take care of my laundry, shopping and house-keeping, while I used to stare at the various software platforms to work on, not knowing what I could do to make them understand that they needed to be ‘user-friendly’ ;). Post marriage and pregnancy, I dreamt of this beautiful Jeannie every single moment. Somehow, hubby manages to convince me at the end of each day that I am as good as Jeannie and I don’t need her at all. (He sometimes feels he is Maj Anthony Nelson, the astronaut from this famous sitcom!)

However, each day starts with the same old wish. With a crazy morning start and with hubby and son getting ready for their respective office and school and with me running around the home like a headless chicken searching for the items that get conveniently displaced by the other two, I dream of a Jeannie who would be kind enough to get the home in shape every day. With my son unable to control his effervescent energy levels and with a hubby who loves to see an impeccable home even as he is my son’s partner in crime by helping him in his cluttering, jumping and screaming activities, I really wish I had a Jeannie that took care of stuff I regularly have to do with little respite and least to say, no interest! Meanwhile, did I tell you I was engaged in a vivid monologue since morning about the list of to-do-tasks that were haunting and daunting at the same time?  

My dramatic soliloquy!! - 

• “All sofa covers to be in place. Cushions to be undisturbed after being set. Lamp shade to be dusted and cleaned. 
• All newspapers to be stacked inside the small cupboard in the hall. Center Table cloth to be adjusted to perfection. Paper weight/Ash tray to be placed on it and not to moved. (somehow, my son always skips the 'not' part.) 
• Dining table and place mats to be cleaned after every meal. (de-clutter the contents of the dining table immediately after use) 
• Fold the washed clothes and neatly set them in the cupboard. The unwashed ones are to be dumped in the laundry bag. The laundry bag should be placed in a visible area (very important)
• Cleaning the kitchen. Vegetables to be chopped for the day and the day after. Glasses to be placed in the glass holder. Regular cups to be hung from the hook case and the unused ones to be placed in the shelf. To know, which jar contains what! Keeping a stock of ration. And, making sure there are enough snacks, sugar for tea, Nescafe for coffee, milk, some syrups etc.. that come to an immediate rescue when friends/guests drop in unexpectedly at tea time.
• Cleaning the bathrooms every single day and making them smell like a scented spa. 
• Bed covers and comforters to be kept clean and neat. Curtains to be dry washed thrice a year. Dusting the window shields and other chic glass and bronze items.
• Least but not the last (I really mean it that way!!), I also want a magic wand so that I can swish it and say –  Alohomora to make the two and a half men in my family (hubby, FIL and son) do their small little things that snowball into a big clutter.”

(My soliloquies are a regular entertainment for the men in my family, sigh!) And, so my mind and body teamed up today (unlikely as it may sound) and I took my home to task with the words – “I am the master. You will listen to me, no matter what!” And, I loved the surprised look of admiration in the faces of my family as they obliged submissively to my methods of housekeeping.

My work as a home maker is never ending. And it is here, I am reminded of a sound advice my father never fails to repeat to me every now and then, “We all do the 90% of our jobs (professional and domestic) with a lot of passion and verve and leave the 10%, out of procrastination. And that 10% appends to another 10% and so on, to become a 90% leaving you with a 10% work achieved and 90% work to be done!” I figure the essence of his advice now even as this advice rang persistently around my ears during my teens, when I was the perfect example of laziness and procrastination. And now, after being awfully busy with my teachers’ training assignments, social engagements and a severely upset tummy of my son (he is good now), I looked at my home in the morning and it resembled the insides of a bird’s nest. I remembered that, last week I had kept the folded clothes on the bed and had somehow forgotten midst my chaotic schedule, to place them inside the cupboard. No, I don't think I forgot! I assumed I would do it, once am back from a party we had! And, so continued the vicious cycle of dilly dallying and I ended up gaping at a mountain of laundry with a mixture of washed and unwashed clothes (a classic trait of the people I love). Also, my assignments had piled up and I did no know where to start. And, worse I did not know, what to start with, first! And it was this morning, I prayed to God to not get me a Jeannie but make me one, for a day! And then, after all the laundry-check, kitchen-check, study room-check, dining table-check, filling the bottles of drinking water-check, the above 10 tasks-check and the counted miscellaneous-check (only for counted ones), I am typing away to glory, happy with the fact that somewhere; my hubby did see a Jeannie in me! Jokes apart, I have decided to take my father’s advice very seriously. I need to focus on crossing from 90% to 100%, so that the 10% does not torment me with pending and impending tasks.

So long, if you have enjoyed my rants, be assured I have a lot to sing about, yet!! Maybe, in the posts to follow, there will be a lot of this chirpy home maker's quirky experiences :) So, stay tuned!!

The homemaker’s perspective ~ From a nomad’s diary

Morning: 8 AM

Husband (getting ready for office): Hey! Did you see my watch?

Wife: Yeah, just a minute, as she slides of a steaming puran poli in her son’s tiffin box. And then, she goes searching for the watch which could possibly be anywhere in the house, but at her husband’s study table where it ideally should be.

Husband: Hey! I am getting late! Never mind, I got my watch! Now, where are my specs?

Wife (still thinking, where the watch could have been):yeah, am searching.....

Son wakes up and enters the scene, Maaaaaa.........Maaaaaa....... With his tiny hands up in the air, groggy eyed toddler tugs at the mother gesturing her to pick him up.

Mother: One minute my munchkin! Am searching for your father’s specs..... (usually it is seen lying in the bed underneath a pillow)

She continues searching when she sees him turning the study room upside down, frantically searching for his specs. She quips, Hey you are wearing them!

Husband (with a discomfited look): Ok! Ok! Such things happen all the time! By the way, did I tell you, I am not able to find my wallet and car keys!

Wife (looking at her teary eyed toddler): Hey why don't you brush your teeth and wash your face until I get your glass of milk ready.....Bournvita!!"

And, after some extensive searching, she promptly gives him the car keys and wallet, after having found them in his one of his many track pants that were strewn all over the bed, that was made just an hour ago. And she reminds him as usual, “Hey listen, when you come back, make sure you write the complaint for the leaking tap.”

Husband (mumbling, as he takes a breakfast bite): Why don’t you do it? You are the home maker! You have the time too. My hands are full. Ok! bye!”

Wife (nodding her head in resignation): Oh yeah! Bye as she gets her son ready for school.

The above morning conversation is something that most (if not all) home makers face on a daily basis, more than the job-goers (not necessarily the way the above conversation sounds). All the running, screaming and multitasking becomes a routine for the lady of the house. She is one indispensable entity on whom, her world depends for everything and yet, her job is most underrated. In short, her job is a no salary, no vacation (leave aside, paid or unpaid) job, for which she demands only love, care and sensitivity as her reward.

I never really valued a home maker until I became one myself. Yes, I have been grossly arrogant at a time, when I had decided for one, that I am never going to be one of those who would be sitting at home, tending to household chores and needs of family. It was about four years back, when I was a working woman, and then, just engaged. And now, with my world complete, with a son and a loving husband, perceptions have changed.  Not forgetting to mention, there is a strange feeling about it. We tend to agree on things we vehemently disagreed on, way back and, strongly object to certain ways of life, which we ourselves followed religiously at one time. That said, we become more sensitive to people around and realize our strengths and weakness in a much better way. And, a lady realizes as a home maker that it is not just about money earned and spent, but it is about respect towards a job and respect earned from it. Most importantly, she experiences the truth, being a home maker is no child's play!!

And now, as I start with “Confessions of a home maker”, women sailing in my boat will totally relate to it. Have been one, for three years, ever since I quit my job, the experience is nonetheless challenging. And, here is a home maker’s perspective for people who think, it is not something to be proud of!!

• No matter what you do, there will not be a moment when you can sit and sigh, “aaah! Work over! Time for a siesta”
• At any point of time, the sink is always going to be quarter-full or half-full or three quarter full or full or overflowing. And why not? Breakfast, preparing lunch, a eleven o clock tea break, four o clock tea break with snacks, Haiti for occasional guest visits, dinners followed by supper, are just the known ones in the routine.
• Then, there is housekeeping that demands that, curtains be of the right shade, the hall must be all inviting, dining table with appropriate cutlery and cloth napkins.
• There are always going to be guests, irrespective of which time of the day it is. So, she has to be prepared with a stock of snacks (readymade or handmade)
• Then, there is the laundry. Although, washing machines are a saving grace for today’s homemaker (unlike the previous generation who did all by themselves), the drying and folding part is still an exhausting task. And if it has to be done everyday!
• The beds have to be made more often than not. No matter how hard she tries keeping the beds clean with pillows and comforters in the right place, it doesn't remain the same way for long. Needless to say, with children, it is a nearly impossible task.
• And then, there are groceries, fruits and vegetables to be bought. Being the home minister of her home, she drives her sedan flawless to any corner of the city to get the best stuff in nominal rates. And then, there are bills to be paid too.
• With a dog at home, she has to walk it too. She is his master and he is her friend, the one who is a sole witness to her endlessly busy routine.
• Also, from her routine, a part goes solely for the children, attending their to their (extra)curricular activities.
• If she were lucky enough to get some time for herself, she watches news or maybe, a soap on Comedy central or any cooking show aired on TLC.  Or maybe, she would spend her time doing some yoga and meditation.

There is no end to the list above. The tasks are too many to list. But notwithstanding all that, a modern day homemaker carries out her tasks with aplomb, besides being the educated lady with myriad hobbies, she rarely gets to pursue. Sometimes, she is also one of those who has a flair for business and part time jobs from home. Yet, family comes first and she is the anchor to whom the family clings.

8 PM (Evening)

Husband: Hey, don’t make anything..... Want to take you out for a movie and then dinner....... What say??”

Wife: (No words, just tears of joy)

That is all a homemaker needs once in a while!! After all, a home maker is the backbone of a healthy home, a happy home!!

There is no particular reason I am writing this post. And so, it is just a nameless post! Just that I was sharing some funny incidents with my mom, one incident that happened with me, was quite fresh in my memory. Well, as funny as it appears and sounds now, it was not for sure, at that time.

Lessons learned:

• It is ok to agree with someone’s tastes, opinions and perspective of life, although they may not concur with yours at all.
• By being too honest, you ought to get ostracized more often than not.
• And what is the harm, if you can bring a smile on a face because you agree to something without letting your views and opinions get affected? After all, the world cannot be forced to agree with you.

Ok, before I bleed with too much of philo, here is what happened……

About six years back, when I was working with CTS, I shared accommodation with four colleagues, of whom two happened to be very good friends of mine. As there are so many things said about being good friends, like being frank, being honest and so on and so forth, I was totally and brutally frank and honest. And when you are good friends, you tend to get used to each other’s idiosyncrasies and weird tastes. I was no exception and nor were my friends. I usually do not watch much TV except in the worst case, when there is no net and no book and no company, which of course, fortunately happens rarely. (By which, I don’t mean to say, I have no addictions. I am severely addicted to social networking and blogging). So whenever we used to return back from home, we used to freshen ourselves up and my roomies used to get hooked to the Roadies and Splits villa shows on MTv (I am sure Raghu and Rajiv have suffered severe childhood trauma that have made them what they are today, twins suffering from severe inferiority complex). Never was I forced to watch their shows, but with intolerably high decibel levels of beep sounds that were enough to make me hear nothing but that and comprehend that someone on the show was getting berated for showing some a'tude, I decided, I might as well watch it once, after having ignored repetitively persuasive invitations to watch the show. Just one episode wont hurt my ego, after all. With friends, you do adjust on certain aspects and in my case, must say I have gem of friends who used to accompany me to Crossword/Landmark/Odyssey, places they feel is made for the boring and the un-happening. So, let’s say as a matter of quid pro quo, I settled down with them to watch the show for the first of a few times and no sooner than I sat down, there was an advertisement break featuring John Abraham. The ad was probably promoting him for the movie Dostana. My roomies were drooling with their jaws open, staring at his six pack body that looked like it was carved out of hot wax. And then, the sighs, moans and cooing started......and after a while, I felt it was not going to end at all.....

Roomie S sighed : “If only I were Bipasha”. (Priya Runchal did not exist that time, did she?))

Roomie J continued : ‘If he were in my arms this moment”

Roomie K chuckled, “Only if I were with him at this moment in a gorgeous beach”…..

The passion this nearing 40 actor had aroused in these women was so totally lascivious, that I shuddered what would become of him, had he by the unlikeliest chance, been amidst us. I dare not mention any. So, while the drooling continued, here I was losing my head. And at some point of time, I just snapped, “Goodness, for the love of God, just stop it! I don’t see anything drool worthy about him.” (Now, I could have stopped at that. But that tongue of mine was sure to turn my day from good to bad instantly. And I blurted, “as such he is doing a gay role in the movie. He looks one for sure!”.

With that said, I suddenly became the wart hog stuck smack in the middle, surrounded by heaving lionesses who were glaring at me with scowling eyes. I was never as scared of anything as of this menacing silence that I assumed would soon dissipate, but continued for a week. It felt miserable to have been put out of the circle of trust all of a sudden, not being given any dinner calls and good morning teas, all because of a goddamn actor who in real world, was just a nobody to us. Although today, we have outgrown our immaturities, that day I felt not just bad but angry too. I was too headstrong to 'apologize' for the 'hurt sentiments' and at the same time, was quite amused at the importance a nobody gains amongst friends. But all said and done, my inner voice told me, I could have better kept shut. After all, the matter was trivial. A week later, I apologized to which rounds of lectures were delivered. My roomies further explained, if I ever came close to knowing what handsome meant I would better start appreciating John and become his fan. Well, I did not become his fan and I still couldn't accept their definition of handsome. But nodding my head in resignation solved it! Broken fences were mended and we were friends for a lifetime again. I harbor no ill feelings because, these are the very friends who have stood by me through rough patches in my life. And I knew, that this fight was like the one we used to have in schools, where there used to be a temporary ‘kitta’ followed by a promisingly permanent ‘buccha’. Funny, a girl's world, isnt it?

But then, that incident set me off thinking, “Could I have avoided that?”, “Could I not have accepted that John is handsome?”, “Why couldn’t I just lie?”, or even better could have at least increased my tolerance level from negative to zero. Of course, I couldn’t lie. Schools teach us not to lie. We get kicked at home if we do. Definitely, lying is never a solution to a problem. It is nothing more than a temporary getaway. But what I could have done is, keep shut. It wouldn’t have cost me anything. And that is where most of us fail. We voice our views recklessly. So, should we care then? I guess, we should. Because, there will be times, when you will be hearing something that may be antagonizing and at that precise moment, may just lose your head. A good sense of humor put in right words in a soft tone can prevent flares from going up rather than voicing opinions carelessly.

My mom was ROFL after I narrated this incident and she was like, "Fine! I like Kareena Kapoor! You have a problem with that?"

And my reaction was :

P.S : By the way, I don't like Kareena a bit! And when mom disclosed to me that she really did like Kareena and wished I worked hard to get a figure as hers, I was stunned for a sec, but then accepted it with a hearty laugh, when she further said that Kareena did about 51 suryanamaskars everyday to look that lithe! Well, here I conk off after doing 9 and have no idea of crossing even 10. Jokes apart, I am content with 9. And coming to think of it, my roommates too love Kareena! Most of my friends do. And I really don't have a problem! And none should have a problem with me if I find Irfaan Khan, Manoj Bajpai and Nawazuddin siddiqui infinitely more handsome and happening than John Abraham, Akshay Kumar or Ajay Devgan. Rustic choice? Isn’t it? 

Chillax!

What is it with Bournvita? ~ Child in me

If I were asked about the list of things I remember enjoying when I was small, small in the sense a time I don’t remember how small I was, the first thing that comes to my mind is my mother bringing me a glass of Bournvita. Aah! The aroma used to be so unique, so soothing and so enticing that it was the lone good thing about rising up early for school. The way my mother makes it, I have never been able to replicate the proportions of sugar and Bournvita. Of course, now when I fix myself a mug, I always end up with one more than the other. And I get the privilege of having that divine glass of Bournvita whenever mom is visiting. The nearest to what my mother makes, I have been able to relish the same at Vohuman’s Cafe (located alongside the Jehangir Hospital lane, Pune). Somehow, getting the right taste is still tricky for me. It has to be that right ½ spoon of sugar + 1 spoon of Bournvita to a glass of milk. (I am definitely not talking about a table spoon or a teaspoon here. I have a medium sized spoon that I usually use for eating and it serves me with the nearly right measurements!)

Somehow, this one drink has sustained well in a long time. There came many malt drinks like Horlicks (which i occasionally like to have), Complan (this is one drink I never liked, though it is said to be the healthiest amongst its malty competitors), Maltova, Amul Pro, Milo, Ovaltin (which is tasty but too heavy on the tummy) and many more. Aah! How can I forget Boost – secret of Sachin Tendulkar’s energy? And then there is ragimalt/ragotine (the barley flavored powder spiced up with condiments like cardamom, almonds and nutmeg) which gives a tough competition to its chocolate malted mates in winters. I have fond memories of my granny preparing me a ragotine/ragimalt drink. In Summers, she used to serve them chilled and in winters, steaming hot. And again, like my mother, her mother had that knack of making the right mixture of milk and malt, something that I have still not been able to learn. I could drool over it anytime, I say!

 Yet, somehow my tongue has remained loyal to Bournvita and till date, its taste has not changed, which is that one thing that keeps me coming back for more! And now, adding to Bournvita lovers are my son and my husband who go to bed only after relishing the warm brown awesomely aromatic Bournvita at night.

Some things don’t change and that is what we love about those ‘some things’. One of them is this, my all time favourite malt drink – Bournvita! I am a Bournvita girl after all! So, what is your pick?

The conversation continues..... ~ Man questions again, 'He' answers

It is a long long way to go

In a life full of uncertainties one never knows

With the destination getting further away,

There is no time to be jolly and gay

When life is busy throwing curve balls at every turn,

Man wonders, ‘whatever for, is this barmy run?’

Because in a world of testing times,

Nothing comes without a price

As man ponders, struggling through every phase

The same question resurfaces,

‘Will there ever be an end to this mad race?’

………

And that is when the inner voice speaks,

‘Do not buckle, do not tweak

It is not the end of the world yet,

So nothing must let you break

Gather your strength and wits

And get ready for the show

For there is no time to sit

And lament over a past that is no more

Life is never a bed of roses

But a journey of gains and losses

So do not squirm or wriggle

As there is no life sans struggle

Remember, success is not final

Failure is not fatal

What matters is the courage to continue
That counts in the long journey of life

Which is full of inevitable circumstances
That are seldom nice

………..

As man listens, wisdom dawns upon him

And he decides to keep going, keep going till the end

Because what matters in the end, is every opportunity tried

Without having to regret of having left anything untried

………….

After all,  there is just one life

So be the best of it while the time flies……

The wait that started, has to end ~ Mind bubble

4th Oct '2011, 11:15 PM:

Again self is in one of those hoarse moods. It is one such time when self craves for some ‘silence of being alone’ that is often an uninvited yet pleasant guest, which at any other time would have been the ‘silence of being lonely’, an uninvited and a deadly pest! And in present, silence seems to be the only companion self could turn to, to hear from, to get comforted. The moods in the earlier part of the day had just started to swing and now are oscillating at an incogitable rate. And the self cannot quite figure out the current state of its mood, except for the awry feeling that is an ungodly conjuncture of fear and faith, insanity and rationality. The feeling is never ending, like the blackness of the bottomless oceans and like the unceasing distance of the sinking sun from the shore. Either way, the depth and the expanse of this mind bubble remains unfathomable.....

.....and the self doesn’t feel like talking yet. It wants assurance time to time. It wants certainty be its perpetual companion. It wants to listen. It wants to hear, hear…..that soothing voice which is a part of itself and yet physically distant by miles; the sanguine notes of music which those tiny vocal chords play everyday; the words of wisdom spoken by those rusty pages, which kiss the eyes and soothe the soul; the drumbeats that come from far away at an hour of festivity assuring self of optimism, faith and good times to come.....

.....As self reminisces the music of those endearing sounds, it feels better. The thoughts are now flowing again, like the inexorable river that finds its course eventually, come what may. The stagnation of gloom has diffused. And the clouds of anxiety and apprehension are dissipating away gradually. Clarity resumes by taking over the reigns of sanity once again. Peace descends. Self now waits with utmost patience and optimism, for the wait to end. Yes, the wait that started, has to end and on a good note soon.....

5th Oct '2011, 12:30 AM:

The eyelids feel heavy now, as the vision is shifting from the darkness of the night to the light that is shining from within. As the self continues searching for answers to its questions, a small prayer escapes the parched lips, only to be heard by the unseen guest at every meal and the silent listener to every conversation. That is when the inner voice suddenly quips, 'Whatever happens is destiny. And, whatever happens, is for the good and with a good reason'. Now, the self feels reassured. It can feel its props of patience and perseverance strengthening again..... The night of half moon is clearing way for a breaking dawn that will soon spread its wings of saffron effervescence across the dark blue skies. Till then, all the self prays for, ‘the wait that started, has to end.....’

Lines for the moment:

Silence feels like a blessing when one wants to be alone. And it feels like a curse when one feels lonely. Whoever said, 'silence is golden' probably forgot to mention that it too changes its color.

When insanity plagues..... ~ Mind Bubble

.....there is nothing in this world that can cure self of those unseen and unknown fears, those terrible pangs of fretfulness; those good and snug moments gone by which now happen to be like an occasional drizzle in a barren desert of loneliness; those days filled with laughter and happiness sans worries; those nights filled with a love beyond intimacy; those stone silent, ice cold starry nights filled with dreams of a future in oblivion just waiting to be fulfilled; when even strolling around in those eerie roads post midnight seemed like a leisure walk in a park, where no words were spoken and yet the hearts communicated; those cozy morning walks that ended perfect, with a nice strong tea and bread omelette and those tiffs that happened often and yet, not so often but ended eventually in forgetfulness, with a bear hug, an embrace filled with love, tears and gratification, so much that the self wouldn’t just let go.....

.....and now the self reminisces those moments, begs destiny to open again those cherished chapters of its life, now to be filled with a certainty, a certainty that the self has waited for long, a certainty that the self feels it deserves, a certainty that the self is looking forward to, a certainty that would last forever.....a certainty that would open the doors of a world of completeness and love that solely belongs to self, something that the self has paid for and is waiting for the dues.....A time as trying as this is something that the self waits for to end.....to end on a good note soon.....so that it can leave behind the incompleteness of the present to enter the world of completeness in future, which would mark the lush green pastures of a life much awaited for, so that the the self can enjoy those coveted moments again, in harmony, with certainty.....However, uncertainties in life are certain.....but then the self is an incurable optimist and so waits, waits patiently for the new chapter to begin soon, and with a lot of hope and optimism.....

‘While you are near, each day passes in a minute; while you are away, every minute seems like a day.....if karma were a crazy bitch, time sure is crazier!'.

So long, when insanity plagues.....

De-cluttering mind, so much to let out and so much to let in ~ Mind-full musings

8th July ‘2011 : 11:45 AM

Days pass slowly. Nights fly fast. And at times I fail to differentiate between days and nights. Looks like, they have merged into one. During the day, the Sun hides itself behind the thick sheath of dark nimbus that engulfs the blue skies of an otherwise sunny day. Nights are pitch dark sans the twinkling of stars, except for the occasional lightning that lights up the sky and with frequent uproars of thunders. Aaah, I had wished for rains long back when the heat wave was intolerable. Also, as planned, husband was to come on a 20 day leave to spend quality time with family. But nothing goes as planned and life has been relentlessly teaching me that time and again and that is to expect the unexpected. He had come for a 20 day leave but had to leave for an urgent commitment within 5 days. However, this is something I have been quite used to in the past 2 years (being an army officer’s wife, adjustments are crucial). Now the rains are here, but it feels empty to spend a monsoon this way, with husband slogging away in some post across LOC! How much ever, life teaches patience and perseverance the hard way, it does take a great deal of time for the concept of ‘going with the flow’ to sink in. Words of acumen appear to be soothing any other time. However, they can be insanely bitter only when one is forced to go through trying times…..

Coming to the brighter side, in husband’s power vacation of 5 days with family, I must say that our little prince charming and his TDH dad became quite a pair. The moment he was cuddled into a bundle into my husband’s arms I could sense, my boy would be a papa’s boy. And I feel great about it, rather very glad! My lil one is 16 days old as of today and every ada of his, simply fascinates me to no bounds! The myriad cute expressions on his face that include occasional smiles when sleeping, ascending decibels of his wails when wanting to be picked up and cuddled and frequent kicking of those soft baby pillows which often hit his grandpa (by sheer co-incidence), while he hears his grand ma singing him songs with rapt attention and when he gives me that commanding look at tummy time and bed time…..babies are not just innocence personified, they make you wonder at marvels of nature. It does not take just an egg and a sperm to make a wonder like that! Perhaps, this wonder is more a product of unseen magic and prayers. During pregnancy, when my husband and I went through the videos of fetal development on a website, we were quite intrigued! Not that we do not know how fetal development happens. Considering, both of us were Science students in school, we are quite aware of the technical facts, but watching a fetal development video month by month, is very enthralling. The way, a fetus develops inside a woman’s body, slowly and gradually, with every month adding to its growth, with limbs sprouting out, hair and nails growing, neurons developing along with the brain cells…..they are something that cannot be explained absolutely by Science, although medical facts vouch for it! Would say, it is way beyond a man’s making and is more of God’s magic at work! Sometimes I look my baby and wonder, ‘this is how a baby Cupid would look like!’

Well, every good thing that comes into one’s life demands he/she has earned it well! Motherhood is no different! As ground reality hits hard, I have been jolted out of my innate laziness that was born with me. Yes, it has taken me a while to get accustomed to a changed pattern in my lifestyle. Sleep cycles have become erratic. Now I realize why people used to tell me while I was pregnant, ‘Sleep while you can. Once the kid is out, you would not get to sleep at all!’ And in those days, I and sleep conveniently eluded each other. And now I don’t get enough of it. It does not surprise me though when I find myself sleeping in the oddest hours of the day, when the whole world around me is buzzing with life. Coming to my diet, I eat healthy now (well have been doing that unusually for the past 9 months). So, when I say ‘healthy’, I mean it! Fruits that were never in my list of foods are perpetually on my plate all three times a day and also as snacks! Nevertheless, now I too have got a taste of good healthy stuff. But cannot vouch for how long the self control will linger. And when I think of rich food, (would not say ‘healthy’), I miss Pune pretty bad! It has been a while now, since I left Pune on this much awaited hiatus. A city for gourmet lovers that it is, it had transformed me into an absolute foodie! To be honest, I do miss the cheesy pizzas of Lil Italy, rich hazelnut brownies of Bakers Basket, amazingly mouth watering fish biryani of Mahesh Lunch home, butter chicken of George and Blue Nile, Pav Bhajis of Shiv Sagar and the yummy south Indian food in the small homely outlets run by Iyer mamis and mamas! There are many more things I miss about Pune, but on the other hand, I am also enjoying the tranquility of my hometown, which at the moment has a very soothing effect on me.....

Sometimes, I wonder how much it takes for a change to settle down. A great deal of course! In my case, I feel the person in me has transformed completely, yet gradually! Cant remember this person who couldn't sacrifice food and sleep for whatsoever reason! But change does the wonders! Does it not? Would say, change feels good and even better as long as the results are rewarding. Isn’t it?

A random chunk of thoughts ~ Mind-full Musings

11:45 PM, 21st May ‘2011

.....And my random ramblings of mind are in action at a time when the town slumbers! Yes, I am a nocturnal kind, as my mom says I was born at 9 PM in a cold night of December. Well, that owl-ish trait has tagged along ever since childhood much to the chagrin of my parents who are early birds who stick by – ‘Early to bed, early to rise’. And I conveniently chose to stick by the antonym-al phrase:- ‘Late to bed and so, Late to rise’! Although my sleeping habits annoy my parents to no bounds, they are forced to accept a fact of life, Habits die hard, don’t they? (and in my case, habits live forever!)

Today was just one peaceful day, sans tensions, worries, illogical thoughts and irrational delusions. Half of my day was spent at the hospital where I was undergoing a routine check up, considering am in final trimester of entering motherhood. And with most time spent there and keeping myself busy with APJ’s Wings of Fire, until my turn came, I found the day pacing away calm and fast! Wish, every day passed that way, just like that *snap*! And the evening was good, with me blogging away to glory. Ever since I started blogging, I have felt myself evolving into a better person. Why? Because, this is one place, where I get to share my thoughts (or junk?) with great bloggers around, who have been a great inspiration to me when it came to expression of thoughts in words! And besides, blogging is something that is keeping my indolent fingers and my idle brain, alive and kicking, for good!

Well, this evening proved to be even better, as mangoes have arrived in town. And I couldn’t resist them! So weird of me! Before entering motherhood, I detested mangoes. I never went near them! I couldn’t stand that smell! And after entering the most beautiful phase of being a woman, I am not able to take my eyes off them! Well, pregnancy can do unimaginable things to you, but all of them are most of the times, adorable! Off late, my liking towards fruits have gone on a high, again for good, wherein exactly an year back, fruits were perpetually ignored in the list of foods I binged on usually and were rather were placed in a list of foods I never thought of touching. Somehow, I feel I have probably overcome my cravings for foods that contained more fat than nutrition and have got a taste for ‘healthy’! Well, don’t know how far my self control will last, but hope it lasts for a while!

12.00 AM, 22nd May ‘2011

…..As my ramblings continue, (which never have an end), 22nd May has already welcomed me! I am eagerly waiting for this month to end! June should probably come with some rains to mellow down the severe heat wave of May. Wish the weather cooled down, so that I can resume taking long walks in the evening, talking to my husband over phone or listening to good music all along.

Well, this is a time I crave for ripe golden mangoes, a chilled weather, good rains that wash down the dust of the road and turn the yellow grass green, and some nice puddles where I can make some paper boats and help them sail, like in the good old school days! At this point, nostalgia intervenes and I am reminded of a phase in life, where I can view a 11 year old school going girl with a yellow raincoat, taking off her gumboots to empty the water off and put them on again and jumping around in the small puddles, deriving immense pleasure, an innocent one! Wish ‘could turn back time’ to relive those days again!

Aaah! Too much of wishful thinking is so full of greed…..but greed feels good at times! Doesn’t it?

Mindless musings, random thoughts ~ Mood Swings

May 11 ‘2011 : 11:45 PM

Sometimes, silence works wonders. And sometimes it can be the perfect stalemate, a reason to kill with its weapon of boredom! For reasons I do not know, today was a day when I felt offbeat, silent in a weird way! My parents, though are used to my sudden but infrequent bouts of mood swings, this one jilted me in a strange way!

For some reason, today I just felt – ‘The less you talk, less bothered you feel’. This statement coming from me can make some people swoon away in shock, but it is so true that my urge to communicate almost died today. The great silence just took over and brought out the zestless, moodless and boring me! And it was not just my silence, but the swing of it that came along, a strange one though, which simply tied my moods and made me almost unreceptive to any emotion. I did not go for walk in the morning. Slept like a hog for 4-5 hours in the day, when these days, a balanced diet, a vigorous walk and a lot of water consumption is mandatory for me! I could not play my keyboard as my mind did not allow me to fetch a song from the music section of my cerebral matter. I did not feel like picking up a book to read! (was on a high yesterday when I was reading APJ’s Wings of Fire). I could not find the idiot box offering anything new (as such I visit the idiot once in a blue moon and this day, this particular day too, it did not take any effort to pacify my mood swing!). More to it, I was plagued by a loss of appetite which was precisely the ‘Murphy’s touch’ to the end of this dreary day. And now, I am just ranting away all of it! Not because, I am bored, but because I have actually got the hang of a mood swing and the urge to blog about it is bringing some life back to my system, by untying the moods slowly!

How is that, that nothing just seems to interest you at times. In such moments, one can hear people screaming around for no reason, the cell ringing with you having nothing to talk about, with a great choice of a platter loaded with delicious meal, with you having no appetite, with every diversion like book, videogame, television, Internet, social networking etc around you with you not able to respond to any of the urges to avert the boredom! Today I just felt all of the above! Or should I say, ‘the perfect impasse that couldn’t get any worse’. It just won’t loosen up. The noose of boredom just keeps getting tighter and tighter until the self gets bored of sleep too. Nevertheless, I am sitting and rambling about it at a time, when the world around me is already done with half of its sleep cycle…..

May 12 ‘2011 : 12:15 AM

….And my mindless ramblings keep continuing, although a new day has started. In 3 hours from now, the birds will wake up and start chirping! And an hour later, my hyperactive mommy would get up and start her household chores, only to be supported by my adorable daddy whose wakey time would be an hour later, around 5 AM. As for me, the Goddess of sleep seems to be showering her blessings on me persistently and perpetually so that my morning starts at a time, when my parents consider the day almost nearing its end!

Sometimes I wonder at the chromosomal combination I tend to have inherited. With both my parents being extremely hyperactive and brainy, how was it that I caught up with a genetic composition that made me the laziest and not so intelligent creature on earth! Nevertheless, it does not bother me any more as it used to in my school days. Well, I have just accepted for a fact that the intelligent/active genes in me are perhaps recessive and would probably become the dominant ones in my little one (which must be wondering by now, what is my mommy upto, at such an odd hour in the night? ;))Hoping so :)

I guess it is time for me to hit the bed. And guess what, am feeling better now! Feels like something unfriendly that was holding my breath so tight for the past 24 hours, suddenly released its grip! Hopefully, I would get a sound sleep too :)

Good night folks, or is it Good 'early' morning? ;)