Swimming in an ocean of thoughts.....: And, acceptance takes over.....finally!! ~ From a Nomad's diary

I am now officially completing a month in the new station. Time flies. Right? Wrong!! I understood Einstein’s theory of relativity, "When a man sits with a pretty girl for an hour, it seems like a minute. And let him sit on a hot stove for a minute and that, may seem like more than an hour!!"(except the first half is not applicable for me, but the second half is). The last three weeks were the craziest and the longest 'month' of my life, speaking of which I felt trapped in a jungle with no particular directions towards feeling good. (Practically, I am stationed in a jungle of sorts where I get to see peacocks, stags and warthogs!!). Nevertheless, the acceptance has finally gotten over the rebellion in me, which at some instant in the past few weeks, had felt like rushing back to hometown and spending a while there until we got a permanent accommodation. When I had mentioned this to my busy bee hubby over a breakdown, he listened patiently and then said something that awakened a dormant verve in me, “Sweetheart, I won’t stop you if you do not like this place. But isn't that tantamount to running away from a problem? And, I have never seen you running away from something you couldn't face in the first go.” Of course, he had touched the nerve of resilience in me, over which I had always maintained a pride. And I sat back and thought over, “what am I really complaining about? That, I did not have neighbors at all? That, I do not like the mundane routine of life? And that, this place is colder than the previous station and is drab?” Of course, I had many things to be glad about. First being, married to a man who strengthens me with his charm and sagacity each time I buckle under pressure. And second, my son whose smile makes me forget all my woes. And, when I have such amazing men in my life, I better be thanking the Almighty for my blessings.

Well, now I am slowly adjusting to the growing demands of the new place and its people. Hubby and I conducted a formal event here and am glad, I did it despite the un-happening and demoralizing rehearsals!! The event was a success finally and that, has given me a boost of morale in a place where I thought, I would not be making even acquaintances. I have had my moments of awkwardness here. Of course, Nina the great cannot be making no mistakes. During the dinner of the event, I had tried cutting the bati with my fork and spoon and, the cardinal mistake of not having used a knife in place of spoon led to the flying of one half of the bati (I know not where and did not want to know where). I quickly covered up the shame by popping the other half into my mouth quickly! Now, I know the other three ladies (two of whom were seniors) pretty much noticed my bati fiasco but chose to ignore it as I am the baby of the station until a new bait gets trapped. The second blunder I made, was wearing heels for the event(something which I had stopped after my son was born). Apparently, I earned a severe back ache for having worn a footwear out of desire that superseded my comforts! Lessons learnt – Comfort is priority any day.

There are many events getting lined up in the unit. The welfare of the jawan’s families falls on the shoulders of the army wives (it is a moral responsibility of sorts). And so, I know for a fact that unit life is no cake walk after all. It is a test that will keep coming back. At this stage however, I just hope this phase of unrest too shall pass as am keeping fingers crossed for two wishes:

One, need a permanent accommodation soon so that I can set up my kitchen completely and can sharpen my culinary skills.
Second, I wish to be remembered for the good things I do here and not for the goof ups I am more likely to make when pressure mounts.

My wishful thinking has no end. As of now, am back to what I always am, before the unraveling of my awesome personality begins-