Swimming in an ocean of thoughts.....

Ask me no questions and i shall tell you no lies :)

Tuesday, November 25, 2014

Are you happy in your space, ladies?? ~ From a nomad’s diary

From the many changes in a woman's life right from her coming of age until her hair turns silver gray, motherhood is one of the apparent ones that brings in her a phenomenal change. Of course, motherhood is assailable. However, on the flip side it does shrink her social life. Spontaneous shopping trips become a thing of the past. Watching movies at odd hours, let alone the genre is happening no more. Suddenly the concept of late night parties disappears. Worse, career options change. And, these changes do not happen overnight. It is gradual. It is like a day and night process. We do not realize it is night until the sky turns dark and that, it is day as soon as dawn cracks on the skyline. And so, a lady does not immediately accustom herself to the new life. The change in her too, is gradual. She does miss the old times when responsibilities were less. Somewhere, a part of her craves for independence where she can do what she likes sans any inhibitions. Many a time, ladies find it difficult to accept the change and some become bitter over a period of time, assuming they are losing out on fun part because of the change. Social life appears greener to a domesticated being. And it is here, I shall disclose the reason for writing this post.


I remember my father's advice a few years back when I was a social butterfly of extremes. He had said, “Child, learn to be happy in your own company. The day you befriend your inner self, you would never really long for a crowd”. Those days, I felt he did not understand my life as I retorted citing generation gap. However as years progressed, I started getting weary of my socially active life of late night outs or matinee movies or dinners at exotic restaurants or even visiting new places. (Sometimes, when one has too many friends, you never know where exactly you even fit!). I started facing a lull in life and became extremely claustrophobic in crowds.  Although I was in a good job, there was a feeling growing within me, “This is not enough!” I quit my job post marriage and took a three month sabbatical to figure out a career that would appease me mentally and emotionally. Luckily around that time, I got an opportunity to dabble in content writing. Blogging was only a hobby until then. And, I so loved the new job. Needless to say, I made good friends here too. But the best thing that happened to me during this period was, reading. I did read books, but this habit took to a new level as I explored myriad genres, that friends suggested. And it was this hobby that made my personality undergo a 180 deg phase shift. I no longer longed for a crowd. I no longer felt like visiting malls and shopping mindlessly, something I indulged in when hubby was away. (considering that in the first two years of marriage, hubby an army officer, was serving in some remote location from where his accessibility options were minimal). In those times, developing a hobby such as reading helped me combat the loneliness I felt. I started feeling normal even while I was alone at home.


And now post marriage and having a baby, I feel more composed than before, although my responsibilities and domestic challenges have tripled. I rarely have time to watch my favorite culinary shows or catch up with friends or talk to relatives over phone. I don’t even remember the last time I slept without having to set the alarm. Considering that my son is almost three and a half, my days are always full to the brink and nights are always shorter than days, regardless of which season of the year it is. Our outings and dinners are limited now. But then, there are no regrets. It has been four years since I quit my job and became a humble home maker. And today, I am in no hurry to make friends or rush back into a social life I was so much a part of before. Surprisingly, loud music and dance no more interest me. But most importantly, I am no longer affected by what the world thinks about me. When I find my free time, I invest in reading blogs and then updating my own. Sometimes, when I face a writer’s block, I read a lot on web and mostly, what inspires me.


And yes, I have finally comprehended my father’s words of wisdom “If you are happy in your own space, without searching for a need to socialize, to get in a crowd, only then, you will have accepted yourself truly for what you are!”

Sometimes, it feels good to break the stereotype of being overtly social.

Sometimes, it feels good to venture out by self and judge the world by one’s own experience and not by someone else’s assumption.

Sometimes, it is better to have a few good friends than having countless acquaintances claiming to be friends.

Sometimes, it is best to connect with Mother Nature and understand her signs.

And yes, in all times your best friend is always your conscience and none other. 

Coming to which, every lady must necessarily have a hobby or a passion regardless of whether she is a working woman or not, married or not, mother or not, to get used to the changes in life. You keep the mind busy with work, life gets easier to understand. And I caught this lovely message on Face Book that I want to share with my readers. Something all ladies must learn to do…..when they must take the stand and rediscover their formidable side.....


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