Good news only.

Have you ever realized for a fact that what you hear, see and perceive over a period of time, becomes either your perception of the world or your worst fears? Just take a test of five questions below:

1. Will you, as a man be accepting and unaffected at the same time, if your spouse were to earn more than you do?
2. Will you be comfortable if one of your children (or say, only child) has a different take on sexuality?
3. Are you willing to accept that God resides in the good we do and not merely within the sacred realms of temples, mosques and churches?
4. If you see an unjust incident, say any like a person taking a bribe or a stranger getting beaten up by hooligans or say, a woman being eve-teased, are you brave enough to question the act or do you, succumb to your fears of being drawn into a seemingly unnecessary scenario which you may want to avoid?
5. Which are your favourite Bollywood movies?

Do not reply on impulse. Imagine yourself in a situation you have not encountered yet. Although the answers are predictable (Thanks to the changing mindsets today), the answers shall still vary. And the answers shall probably enlighten you about the person you are. But then, only if you are honest with yourselves when answering them. Maybe, you will be surprised at the way you think despite your advocacy for women empowerment, gay rights and what not. The way you have seen life until now, is the way you will continue to perceive the world around you. And that, is your perception of the world no matter, how hard you try to camouflage your actual opinions with cheesy lines on how women suffer and how women need to fight back. Face it! 

OK. Let me give you an example. For instance, Bollywood has forever portrayed man as a never ageing Greek God! People never have an issue with a 50+ Khan romancing a 20+ woman but eyebrows are raised if a 40+ woman has feelings for a man younger to her. Our society thinks the way they perceive the characters in the cinema. And I have grown up watching Amir Khan in movies like Dil, Jo jeeta wahi Sikandar and Qayamat se Qayamat tak, He was one of my impressionable crushes. But then off late, I found myself questioning, "ain’t Amir Khan too old to romance Katrina in Dhoom", or for that matter "Salman Khan too old to fall for the fresh Jacqueline Fernandez in ‘Kick’"?. (That said, I still adore Amir Khan). However, these very actors used to romance golden beauties like Juhi Chawla and Madhuri Dixit on screen, long back. And that is when I realized that our cinema has been instrumental in creating a somewhat vague image of a woman. As per Bollywood, a woman is nothing more than 'chittiyan Kalaiyan' or 'jadu hai nasha hai'. Precisely which is why our society is unable to perceive a woman any different than the usual - the desirable. She can be a strong, independent, fierce and dominant character, only in dreams! Anyways, I am digressing. The reason for this post is in different context altogether, though subtly connected with the perception theory I mentioned earlier and in my previous post. There is a reason why courage has taken a beating and fears of unknown and lack of goodwill have increased. Of course, is there anything good we hear about these days?

For instance, let's talk about the DEC 16 incident that shook the world. Playing and replaying the unspeakable horrors of the ghastly incident for over two years (including Suzette Jordan’s story) has not done any good to the society, except disturbing the already disturbed. I have had sleepless nights that year and I still get cold shivers when I think about the brave heart Nirbhaya. May her soul rest in peace. And then, the Park Street rape incident was highlighted. Suzette Jordan was not the conventional woman who wore salwar kameez. She was a single mother to two teenage girls and she was a supremely independent woman who lived life on her own terms even if she were jobless for a long period. She had no qualms about her drinking and smoking and she cared two hoots about what this world thought about her. And, when she was raped, the world loved to label her a slut because she was not the quintessential Indian woman our society expects a lady to be. Yet, she fought the world with all her might. I loved her. I respect that strong soul. (RIP Suzette). And I loved her to pieces when she said, "I have a name. My name is Suzette Jordan". She did not like to be referenced as ‘Park Street Rape Victim’. And this is precisely what I am talking about – the label! Yes, the label ‘victim’ that is slapped on a woman who falls prey to this torment of a lifetime – Rape. The physical scars heal over years but, the psychological scars inflicted, bleed for a lifetime. Imagine the amount of grit and will for a rape survivor to pick up the tattered pieces of her life, to begin all over again as a normal human, to brave threats and disturbing calls from unknown predators, to walk on the street without being pried upon, to forget the horrors she prays no lady must undergo. People, she is NOT a victim. She is a SURVIVOR. And, SURVIVORS make GOOD NEWS!!

1. A classic example of a survivor becoming a ray of hope for the others who live their lives in fear is Sunitha Krishnan. She was gang raped at the age of 15 by eight men. Today, a co-founder of Prajwala, an NGO that works towards rehabilitation of sex workers and their children, she has come a long way indeed. This woman braved the threats all her life and rose like a phoenix, proving that our unhealthy society needs to be treated. And that is what I call, GOOD NEWS.
   
2. Even as female infanticide continues, change has happened. Small it is, but it has started. A village in Rajasthan, Piplantri celebrates the birth of a girl child by planting 111 trees. An effort that promulgates eco friendliness along with the significance of a girl child in the world. Now that is, GOOD NEWS!
   
3. When Vidya Balan enacted the role of a sensuous pregnant woman searching for her husband in the movie, Kahaani, I loved the change. It was a breather to see a woman leading the movie. The change was liked too. Though, the movies that followed ensured that the society was not drawn towards the fact, that women are as impressionable as men. (thanks to Farah Khan and Karan Johar for their undying loyalty towards SRK and bringing back the audience to their clichéd bullshit stories!) Hence, the seemingly insignificant change in the genre of Bollywood movies that was reflected in Kahaani, Queen, Highway, Mardaani, Gulaab Gang and others of the kind may not have stayed with people as much as male dominated movies would have. Yet,  that is GOOD NEWS, because the change has begun! And, I love Vidya Balan. I adore her. Not because she is a Palakkad Iyer like me, but because she is one of the few actresses who is comfortable with who she is. Undeterred by the scrutinizing eyes of the media over how many pounds she gained and lost and then, gained and whether she is preggers or not, this actress has managed to rub it off her skin, despite the hurt she must have felt being judged on the ‘plumpness’ factor. Vidya Balan, I take a bow!
   
4. And then, unheard is the story of how this 29 year old LinkanSubuddhi, a software professional who also worked with AID India (an NGO), stalled a child marriage and not without a fight in which she was injured critically. This lady is a hero. And I call her, GOOD NEWS!
   
   
   
5.  How can I forget Malala and the many unheard ones like her? The world adores this 17 year old who was 14 when she was shot in the head three times. But, can a bullet kill a good soul? God intervened. The rise of the brave had started in the wild unruly frontiers of our neighbouring country. This girl now shines with the many honours she has been bestowed upon, one being the Nobel Peace Prize. And, she continues with the good work. GOOD NEWS, the better!
   

Now, many of you might cringe reading the above examples of GOOD NEWS! OF course, who does not know about all these? But then ask yourself, what do you tend to discuss more? People enjoy discussing the pain and the torment of a rape survivor more than discussing her verve to break free from the fear bubble to fight the world and move on. And that, is NOT GOOD NEWS at all!

Well, that does not mean, ‘stop being a realist’. But then, be a realist with an urge to move on from the stagnancy of 'what has happened is not good' to 'what can be done about this'. If there are 10 bad things happening in the world, throw more light on the one good thing that is happening simultaneously. People who are trying hard to do good in the world by helping the needy, educating the children in the slum and helping this society heal, deserve a better mention than how many rapes and murders are happening around the country. A couple of years back, my brother in law Sridhar (a journalist) had started a group on Facebook – Good news only. When the group started, I initially wondered, “what is the point in spreading good news only? Why keep the world in dark about the news that is not good? Understanding reality is more important than living in a bubble that the world is good.” Those were my initial thoughts. I was so so wrong! Understanding reality is a faux pass today. We do not ‘understand’ reality. We empathize with it. We relish it. We discuss it. We gossip about it. We play and replay it. We devour it. We forget it. But we do NOT understand it. 

'Good news only' may not solve problems instantly. They may not change things drastically. They may not even be convincing enough to be a story that must be heard. But then, there is one thing which they give, HOPE! Once people understand this, Faith will follow suit. And then, the change will happen. Which is why, we need ‘GOOD NEWS ONLY!’

P.S: In case you were wondering why I have not given my answers to the questions above, here they are:

1. will have to ask hubby. Knowing him, he is extremely broad minded as he has been a strong advocator for double income. For the present, it is me who is not working by choice. :P
2. Too early to say ;)
3. Yes, I believe God resides in the good we do. I will leave it at that.
4. I am not sure how I will react as I have not witnessed any incident such as that.
5. Damini, Ram teri ganga maili ho gayi (I loved the end), Arth, Bhawana, Abhimaan....all movies that bear a woman protagonist.      

Why women are treated the way they are.

Suzette Jordan (the Park Street Survivor) dies. A septuagenarian nun gets raped in West Bengal. A child is abused in Ahmedabad in ways that send chills down the spine. And, then there is this documentary – India’s daughters that brought back memories of the braveheart Nirbhaya. (May her soul rest in peace).

I have not seen the documentary yet, except for the wretch and his lawyer’s interviews that were shared on social networking sites. I am not going to say how appalled I am or how women are not respected in our country or how certain men in the world are born evil. No, I am not. Actually I am tired of our media. I am sick and tired of the movies that are shown. I am not surprised at the kind of heinous crimes that are happening like a usual thing. Give me one good reason as to why I should feel surprised or disgusted. Take for instance, Deepika Padukone. This actress flipped when her cleavage became nation’s favourite topic of discussion, thanks to TOI. There was a barrage of open letters (I still don’t get it! Open letters? Seriously? Once you have written/typed something and you put it on Internet, what open and close are you talking about!). And then this, AIB roast happened. Again, I would refrain from commenting on this as I have not seen the show. But, there were a few jibes on the same actress that caught my eye. Jokes that ‘should have appeared in poor taste’ to her when the whole country discussing her cleavage was unacceptable to her. I would rather appreciate Sunny Leone in that aspect. I have not seen her movies but the world knows that she was a porn actress and she is candid about it!  An artist can never lead a life in black and white which this lady knows. But my intent to write this post is not that. We have some serious issues here.

Give me one Bollywood movie which saw the rise of a woman protagonist overshadowing her male counterparts. The first name that comes to mind is Raj Kumar Santoshi’s Damini, a movie that was loosely based on a gang rape of a tribal woman. How many more of such kind followed where a woman was shown powerful enough to take down the chauvinistic men who lusted after a woman’s body rather than respecting her? Aah, the second name that comes to mind is Lajja (again by the same director) where four women who suffer the atrocities at the hands of male chauvinists rise like the phoenix showing the world that they better not be antagonized. Gulaab Gang, Bullet Rani and Mardani are the recent ones. But who discusses these movies? It is one time watch for most. But what we still continue to discuss is how Hrithik looked smashing in Bang Bang and how SRK has not lost his charm in Happy New Year or how Bipasha Basu sizzled in horror flick Alone. (Thank God! Bips finally realized that she is apt for horror movies!) or how DDLJ completed some 100 years of love. BULLSHIT!! Worse, the Khan club is still romancing ladies half their age on screen. People, what do you expect from all this? 'Respect for women'? It is dead.

Cinema is instrumental in creating the psyche of a society which is why there are questions directed towards the artisans of Indian Cinema:

1.  If you directors keep glorifying the biceps and countless packs of the actors and only project women as objects of desire, what kind of a response do you expect from a demented society as ours? Stop behaving like men rule the world! It is the hand that rocks the cradle, that rules the world, morons!! 
2. When you are unable to respect the artistic talents in a woman (except for portraying her well endowed assets), how does this world expect a society to perceive a woman any differently? Show her side of the story to this world. Show the world that there is more to a woman than her pretty face and perfect curves. Have you forgotten movies like Arth and Bhavana? 

And a few questions for media,

1. You share a rapist’s interview with the world. Why? Why do we even have to listen to it? (so that a few devil incarnates like him multiply?) We are not shrinks. At least most of us are not! Instead of berating a person who is already and insanely vicious, why not encourage women to learn self defence? Please don’t earn your bread butter using a lady’s helplessness and hopelessness.
2. Foreigners who love to make documentaries about India, you are doing a good job. But please don’t tell me that your country does not have the ‘wild wild west’! You have your stories too. Only it is the other country’s story that will earn you perks! Please, everyone has to answer for their actions someday.

A few years back, I watched Mira Nair’s Kama sutra. It is a brilliant movie with an amazing cast ensemble. But since the name is about the forbidden topic, people refrain from discussing it, let alone watch it! Believe me, it is an aesthetically shot movie where no scenes disturb you in the aftermath. However, movies that portray rapes and assaults have a far worse impact on the psyche of a human mind. Be honest when you make this judgement. What disturbs you more? The natural or the unnatural? Somewhere, I feel the media has to be more responsible when it comes to the sorry plight of women today. They need to work towards building a far more powerful image of a woman rather than depicting her as a distraught victim of a society that is still driven by radical views on gender and sex. Probably Quentin Tarantino must consider making movies in India. Remember, Kill Bill’s character Beatrix Kiddo aka the Black mamba aka the Killer Bride? We need her. Now.

And Suzette Jordan, RIP.

Are you happy in your space, ladies?? ~ From a nomad’s diary

From the many changes in a woman's life right from her coming of age until her hair turns silver gray, motherhood is one of the apparent ones that brings in her a phenomenal change. Of course, motherhood is assailable. However, on the flip side it does shrink her social life. Spontaneous shopping trips become a thing of the past. Watching movies at odd hours, let alone the genre is happening no more. Suddenly the concept of late night parties disappears. Worse, career options change. And, these changes do not happen overnight. It is gradual. It is like a day and night process. We do not realize it is night until the sky turns dark and that, it is day as soon as dawn cracks on the skyline. And so, a lady does not immediately accustom herself to the new life. The change in her too, is gradual. She does miss the old times when responsibilities were less. Somewhere, a part of her craves for independence where she can do what she likes sans any inhibitions. Many a time, ladies find it difficult to accept the change and some become bitter over a period of time, assuming they are losing out on fun part because of the change. Social life appears greener to a domesticated being. And it is here, I shall disclose the reason for writing this post.

I remember my father's advice a few years back when I was a social butterfly of extremes. He had said, “Child, learn to be happy in your own company. The day you befriend your inner self, you would never really long for a crowd”. Those days, I felt he did not understand my life as I retorted citing generation gap. However as years progressed, I started getting weary of my socially active life of late night outs or matinee movies or dinners at exotic restaurants or even visiting new places. (Sometimes, when one has too many friends, you never know where exactly you even fit!). I started facing a lull in life and became extremely claustrophobic in crowds.  Although I was in a good job, there was a feeling growing within me, “This is not enough!” I quit my job post marriage and took a three month sabbatical to figure out a career that would appease me mentally and emotionally. Luckily around that time, I got an opportunity to dabble in content writing. Blogging was only a hobby until then. And, I so loved the new job. Needless to say, I made good friends here too. But the best thing that happened to me during this period was, reading. I did read books, but this habit took to a new level as I explored myriad genres, that friends suggested. And it was this hobby that made my personality undergo a 180 deg phase shift. I no longer longed for a crowd. I no longer felt like visiting malls and shopping mindlessly, something I indulged in when hubby was away. (considering that in the first two years of marriage, hubby an army officer, was serving in some remote location from where his accessibility options were minimal). In those times, developing a hobby such as reading helped me combat the loneliness I felt. I started feeling normal even while I was alone at home.

And now post marriage and having a baby, I feel more composed than before, although my responsibilities and domestic challenges have tripled. I rarely have time to watch my favorite culinary shows or catch up with friends or talk to relatives over phone. I don’t even remember the last time I slept without having to set the alarm. Considering that my son is almost three and a half, my days are always full to the brink and nights are always shorter than days, regardless of which season of the year it is. Our outings and dinners are limited now. But then, there are no regrets. It has been four years since I quit my job and became a humble home maker. And today, I am in no hurry to make friends or rush back into a social life I was so much a part of before. Surprisingly, loud music and dance no more interest me. But most importantly, I am no longer affected by what the world thinks about me. When I find my free time, I invest in reading blogs and then updating my own. Sometimes, when I face a writer’s block, I read a lot on web and mostly, what inspires me.

And yes, I have finally comprehended my father’s words of wisdom “If you are happy in your own space, without searching for a need to socialize, to get in a crowd, only then, you will have accepted yourself truly for what you are!”

Sometimes, it feels good to break the stereotype of being overtly social.

Sometimes, it feels good to venture out by self and judge the world by one’s own experience and not by someone else’s assumption.

Sometimes, it is better to have a few good friends than having countless acquaintances claiming to be friends.

Sometimes, it is best to connect with Mother Nature and understand her signs.

And yes, in all times your best friend is always your conscience and none other. 

Coming to which, every lady must necessarily have a hobby or a passion regardless of whether she is a working woman or not, married or not, mother or not, to get used to the changes in life. You keep the mind busy with work, life gets easier to understand. And I caught this lovely message on Face Book that I want to share with my readers. Something all ladies must learn to do…..when they must take the stand and rediscover their formidable side.....

The unheard voice ~ From a nomad's diary

“She is the world’s need, yet the most misunderstood personality

Why does not the world heed, when she cries out in times of adversity?”

A woman of today is no different from the woman of yesterday, despite the education, the upbringing, the boldness or the individuality she carries with her. She still feels as vulnerable in present times as before. The feminist in a woman takes a back seat when trouble comes knocking, and she looks around for help, for support, for a morale boost that seemingly gives her a momentary relief. A woman going through a rough relationship, a woman harassed for dowry, a woman traumatized by roving eyes and groping hands of vagabonds of a demented society when she goes for work, a woman suffering domestic abuse in silence no matter how many degrees her intellect has earned her, a woman raising her children who turn out exactly the way she does not want them to, a woman ailing in an old age home spurned by her children at a time when she precisely needs them, a woman falling into honey traps set by strangers in the virtual world only to be abused and dumped, et al speaks of a change that is yet to happen, or needs to happen.

Despite the education and the work experiences a modern day woman has, she is still tied to a society by shackles of beliefs, traditions and the fears of being ostracized even as her conscience forces her to reckon to pursue what she feels, is right. Every time, we read about a dowry death, or a suicide or a case of abuse, it has been observed that most victims are educated and were probably even working. Then why is it, that a woman allows herself to feel the pain and trauma that she does not deserve at all? Why cannot a woman take a stand when she sees the first streak of injustice slapped on her? Why cannot she be brave enough to turn her back on a society that is still ravaged by meaningless beliefs and falsified egos?

A modern day woman needs to understand her importance. She needs to take a stand for herself when the time calls for it. She needs to speak for herself instead of letting someone play advocate for her. She has to understand that even God helps those who helps themselves. The first incident of injustice, and she must voice her opinion loud enough to be heard. In certain cases, where a woman does not speak of being victimized in the first instance, later gets chained by Stockholm’s syndrome and suffers injustice silently. It is high time, she learns to tackle her issues, with tact besides carving an identity for herself. Learning techniques of self defense is one such means of protecting her dignity, her identity and her self esteem from the miscreants that our society has no dearth of.

And the best, modern day mothers can do is teaching their sons to respect the girls and helping them understand the importance of a woman. Even today, there are mothers who crave for sons. Ironically, it is not just women from rural areas, but also certain percentage of the educated lot who bear a mindset as that. Have those mothers thought for a second, if they wanted only sons and no daughters, what would their sons later do in a world where there are no women? Why have not such women thought of leaving a better generation to this planet? That said, it is time feminism gets rolling in full swing!! It is time to change, for good!! It is high time, the woman of today sets a precedent for her kind and sends a message loud and clear to the society -

P.S: I recently came across an article about a dowry death in Hindustan Times that made me write this post! - http://www.hindustantimes.com/india-news/freedomfromdowry/they-killed-my-daughter-for-just-a-luxury-car/article1-1252540.aspx

Happy Women's Day 2014 ~ From a Nomad's diary

So, it is 8^Th March. And when I logged on to FaceBook, it brought a big smile on my face as I saw one of my friends celebrating her son’s first birthday and my cousin celebrating her 8^Th marriage anniversary. But most importantly, the link connecting all the good news was the day today, 8^Th March. And it happens to be a Happy Women’s day J

Women’s day! A day for us! A day celebrated for us! A day that marks the existence of the powerful Venusians who take the world by storm in unexpected, but inspiring ways. A day that glorifies the achievements the talented lot of our kind have made in life, in the process becoming the role model for many more! 

And now I am suddenly reminded of a powerful quote by Margret Thatcher, the Iron lady,

She just said it all!! That is our power!! May our tribe multiply!!

Mothers and Angels ~ Happy Mothers Day

I was showing my son a lot of pics of animals and their little ones. He is most fascinated with the royal animal, tiger that happens to be our country's national animal too.....

So here is his pick for the day :)

Source : Google Images

picture worth a million words eh?

The birth of mother in any living shows that no matter how wild a creature can get, no matter how hostile the world can be, no matter how tough life can get, love overcomes everything.....

Happy Mothers Day to one and all.........

Cheers & God bless...!!

The meet that was absolutely meant to be ~ The Gang of Gorgeous Women

There are things I love doing and then there are some which I wish dint exist in the first place. Well, that is precisely how I felt about a ladies meet (the above, of course the one I din want at all) when I first heard of it. Perceptions. That is so complicated. You never know how it will affect your judgements. But the end of a perception is always good and for good, no matter how, why and what.

So this was my second ladies meet, considering I did not do anything worthwhile in the first one. The second meet was held at the Commandant’s place and the theme for the party was ‘RETRO’ which meant that we gorgeous ladies were supposed to churn out sensual avatars of Mumtaz, Sharmilas and asha parekhs. Needless to say, getting ready for the event was fun. All the parlor ladies were busy with their clients trying to bring out the best in each one. In my case, I chose to drape a simple red cotton saree with a yellow border. Thanks to my maid who gave a retro look even to that simple drape. She even got me a flower so that I could pin it on one side of my mane, but I chose to carry it around in my hands as the flower was overshadowing my lil head :P

And after all the photo sessions and photo shooting, all of us from the course were off to the venue where we were to be present at 4 PM. As the dusk was picturesquely blue with the rays of the setting Sun penetrating the fluffy cumulus and the cool breeze of the evening, our brigade marched with the tambola tickets and raffles clutched tightly in out fidgety hands. The lovely evening was about to begin.

As the sun set, the evening sprang up to life as the vivacious hosts of the meet greeted each one and entertained us with a lot of activities to indulge in, not forgetting to mention here, also giving funny anecdotes now and then. And I realized, there is no limit to the fun ladies can have with their husbands not around. There were games, Tambola, ramp walk and lot of singing and dancing. We just felt that the evening must keep continuing. I, for one, being a mother had some time to herself in a long time. And it felt good to be that way (should be so, atleast once in a while). And how those three hours flew, none realized. At the end, we were treated with refreshments that had those mouth watering snacks every woman would crave for. Pani puris, kathi rolls, aloo tikkis and dahi chat followed by simmering gajar ka halwa and gulab jamun with icecream were something that made us drool over again and again even after out tummies were full. And that is how the awesome ladies meet unfolded.

Now that I end this post with those fond memories, I am reminded of a question a senior officer had posed on a previous social occasion. “Why is there a ladies meet? What is the purpose of it?” There were many answers that came from the crowd, but what he replied made us ponder over the depth of such an idea to bring the ladies together. And he had said, “This meet is not just to bring the ladies of the fraternity together and have fun, but it is to ensure that all the ladies remain together in joy and sorrow. Every lady, as she ascends the ladder along with her husband, takes over a new role where she becomes the guide to every other lady who is yet to adapt to the life of Army. It is a sisterhood that shall last for a lifetime.” And that is so true. Besides, learning about the place and life, we also learn about each other’s talents and passions, likes and dislikes. Cooking together, shopping together, working together and playing together every now and then, gives a sense of togetherness. And after this wonderful ladies meet, I am looking forward to many more good times in this beautiful town, Mhow.

P.S: Some good things that happened on a personal front:

I blogged about something at least after a month and more.

I learnt some basic rules of Tambola. Because in the first meet, I won and not realizing that I won, sat silently watching my prize going away to some one else. So next time, I hope lady luck helps me out a lil bit.

Also, saree draping is fun. I never enjoyed wearing sarees, but now it seems like, you cannot enjoy something you haven’t tried and draping saree is absolutely fun. Of course, I still need help with it.

Also, I am reminded of my post pending on unpacking.....so stay tuned!

Cheers & God bless...!!

Celebrating womanhood as a mother…!! ~ Joys of Motherhood

Being a full time home maker can be an achingly beautiful experience that comes with its challenges especially the unseen ones! It can bring all the toughness, the strength, the love, the ability to adapt and the nerve to multitask confidently! Well, as one friend puts it, a woman has many facets and one of it, the strong one emerges when she becomes a mother. No matter what weather it is, no matter how harsh it is, no matter how sick she feels, no matter how terrible her hunger pangs can be, no matter how sleep deprived she is, no matter how much she has to cut down on those weekly/monthly spas to relax, no matter how less frequently she gets to shop or move out for an outing, the joy, the sheer joy a mother gets when she sees her baby doing something different everyday, right from sitting upright or sleeping like a sprinter, wanting to eat whatever his daddy eats, trying to explore every crevice of the home scouring for insects and papers or smiling delightfully for the utter presence of people and those more of the endless WAH WAH moments beats out all the inconveniences that now appear miniscule or even for that matter, totally uncalled for.

Motherhood is an overwhelming experience. An experience that will continue until the soul departs to another world. An experience that will mark the very phase of womanhood with stars. An experience that will relentlessly teach and grow all the more beautiful with time. But more so what motherhood would teach time and again is that no task in life is going to get any tougher than your imagination gone wild. When someone said, ‘It is all in the mind’, it makes absolute sense. And the realization that comes along is that, the will to adapt to a new phase, the will to change with times, the will to remain calm and happy no matter how many curve balls life intends to throw in the least opportune times must come from within. When I look at other mothers, young ones, old ones alike, I am always left in awe and admiration of them, not forgetting to mention my own mother, looking at whom I always felt I could never be as perfect as her, as determined as her and as passionate as her. But Motherhood changes all that never to ever. It just makes you evaluate yourself, the real self, the selfless self, the humble self with those most ordinary eyes that have only reveled in the materialistic pleasures in the past. Although there are some trying moments, all the sacrifices, all the pain and all the compromises are worth every bit to earn that genuine affection that floods from those innocent eyes, to earn those adorable love filled scratches from those tiny fingernails, those painless kicks from those tiny legs and those bear hugs and wet kisses that just make this beautiful life worth living. Such is the journey of motherhood. A beautiful beginning that has no end. It is a journey where the love shall only multiply, where respect shall be earned and shall stay forever and where the self realizes the true worth of living.

P.S: Well, I wrote this as a means of celebrating Woman's day in my own way and I dedicate this post to all mothers. The world starts with them and ends with them. There can be no greater role in life and I thank the Almighty every day, every minute, every second for gifting me motherhood. Just that, it makes us women more beautiful....Isn't it? ;)

Happy Women's Day!

I may be late in wishing all the Venusians but I guess we really don't need a specific day to celebrate, do we? We celebrate it almost everyday and the reward we get are those smiles in those million faces knowing that the reason behind those smiles is us :)

Cheers & God bless...!!

When Martians and Venusians spoke..... ~ Playing advocate

Men are from Mars and Women are from Venus.....

Sure, none of the above species belong to Earth. They came from the neighboring planets and tried hard to adjust in a place called Earth, made a home here and then again strived harder to stay with/tolerate/coexist with each other as amicably as possible. And that is how peaceful coexistence came on Earth. But then, was that easy? Hell No! Coz, peaceful coexistence is not just about accepting the differences in each other, but also adapting to the changes in due course of time. However, in this peaceful coexistence there have been hitches as a result of the innate characteristics of the Martians and the Venusians. Oh yeah! When opposites attract with so much of force, there also comes a strong underlying current of tenacity in each, that surfaces from time to time only to threaten the peaceful coexistence. So what has got this Venusian writing about the bond between a Martian and a Venusian? A bit of experience and more of observation perhaps…..So before rediscovering this beautiful bond, here is something that has been on my mind for a while…..

10 things that a Venusian feels for her Martian and wants him to know…..

1. A Venusian always loves to get attention from her Martian, no matter how much she tries to camouflage it under a cloak of her unassuming nature.
2. She has a caring heart that often uses the right body language and a wrong tongue to convey the message and hence, that is more often not interpreted by the Martian as it should be.
3. A Venusian is very possessive of her Martian, though she may not always express it blatantly.
4. Her eyes speak loud, those untold words which never find their way to her tongue. She is too headstrong to pour out all her feelings explicitly. However, a Venusian’s eyes will never lie, despite the fact that her tongue is a compulsive liar!
5. When a Venusian cooks for her Martian, she does not just add the right spices and salt but she also adds all the love in her heart to the meal, only to see that content smile on her Martian’s face.
6. A Venusian never likes to be compared to another of her kind, because she feels she is unique for her Martian. And the comparison if ever done is a blow to her esteem, which is unforgivable.
7. She needs appreciation and encouragement from time to time even though her work may not be the best in the world.
8. She likes to talk a lot and wants her Martian to listen to her, even though she knows that most of her conversation may not carry much relevance for him. Yet, an ear to hear is all she asks for.
9. A Venusian has a stubborn streak hidden within her, which in some surfaces at the slightest provocation and in some does not rise until the situation demands it. In such circumstances, silence is her weapon of defiance. And mind well, it could kill!
10. And last but not the least, she is a strong follower of her heart. Her heart dictates her mind. Her emotional quotient is high. For her, love for her Martian surpasses every rationality and logic in the world.

So, now that we know what a Venusian wants, let’s hear the Martians too.....

10 things that a Martian feels for his Venusian and wants her to know…..

1. A true Martian loves his Venusian from the bottom of his heart but pretends to be a way too sardonic about it. The truth is, he does not like exhibition of any sort when it comes to relationships.
2. His tongue and brain are so connected that whatever goes on in his mind comes out through the tongue without any editions and this happens specially in emotionally sensitive situations. Apparently, he does not know how to be diplomatically correct.
3. A Martian too is possessive of his Venusian, though he does not care to show it explicitly as he does not like to admit things his ego would not let him to. Mind well, a Martian has tonnes of ego which is what marks him for what he is.
4. A true Martian never lies to his Venusian, except when his Venusian is overbearing on him without a rhyme or reason.
5. He loves gadgets and likes to explore them a lot. Machines, bikes and electronic items fascinate him to no bounds.
6. He likes and respects his space a lot. For him, his space is as sacred as a deity in a temple.Anyone dare to curb it down is sure to bring out the blues in him.
7. He respects intelligence and rationality. Hence, his emotional quotient is much lower than that of a Venusian.
8. A Martian loves to spend time with his other Martian friends often, which must not be questioned by his Venusian. For him, a change like that is important and mind well, very important.
9. For a Martian, his Venusian is his pillar of strength always, no matter how the circumstances turn out to be. He may not accept it but then that is his way of preserving sanctum of a relationship. As per a Martian, certain things need not be expressed or proved. Their silent existence is enough.
10. And last but not the least, a true Martian loves his family and is fiercely compassionate about it. He can go to any extent to protect it and keep it secure. He possesses a strong shoulder to bear responsibilities, loves his job passionately and not forgetting to mention is always a better planner than a Venusian.

So what prompted me to write about this, I do not know. But it was kind of fun writing this post as it is not just about the fairer and the weaker sex but it is about two out of the world species who complement each other better with their drawbacks rather than with plus points. And that is what keeps this planet going. Isn’t it folks? So strange is the design of the Omnipresence that he made two aliens of opposite nature and somehow managed to help them coexist and then grow and evolve into earthlings. And talking about relationships, there is so much to give and take in it. Especially when considering this beautiful bond between a Martian and a Venusian, a relationship suddenly becomes so colorful and so exciting. It is more like a cabalistic package filled with fun, fights, love, anger, likes, dislikes, doubts, forced silence, fear, anxiety and fluctuating sense of security that surfaces every now and then. However what makes this package even more appealing is the magic of acceptance and adaptation that comes along. From the mythological perspective, when God made Adam and Eve, he sure must have spent years of grey hair contemplating on how to make them two striking individuals who would promulgate the thing called life. And mind well, it applies to other five sensed earthlings too.

And talking about the bond between a Martian and a Venusian, it is hell so complex that it will always remain a contentious topic to debate on who is right and who is otherwise. After all, no relationship for that matter remains perpetually evergreen without those intermittent phases of meaningful/meaningless arguments, mood swings/deviations and a lot of insecurities for unknown reasons. But then, these are the very tit bits in the Martian-Venusian bond that make that relationship adventurous, testing, mystifying and yet exciting. After all, what is a journey without a tinge of adventure? Isn’t it?

P.S: People, you may add/refute/agree/disagree all that you want. The above post is solely based on my perspective. Healthy discussions/arguments are welcome :)

Way to go, Kalki!

When they were hated, despised and feared,
When they were treated with disdain and disrespect,
When they were so condescendingly treated as untouchables,
Nature willed few people to refute the world about what man had said and made!

Months before, I came across an article about an NGO - Sahodari foundation in the Hindu. I was just about to dismiss it like any other article about some NGOs, until the picture of its founder caught my eye. As I further read through the article, I understood why it had stood out to me and why was I compelled to read more. It takes a heart to beat the struggles in life, and it takes a greater courage to become a founder of an NGO, one media specialist, an entrepreneur and a script writer especially when the person, the founder is a transgender. Meet – Ms Kalki Subramaniam, a Masters in Journalism and Mass Communications. Period.

The third gender is always a sidelined community no matter which place they belong to. In India, this colorful community is seen at most, begging and bullying in trains for a meager amount of currency. In the northern parts, they are said to bring in good will and luck wherever a child is born. They dance, bless the baby and move on after being paid handsomely. Whereas in other parts, they are also found in the infamous places best known for iniquitous activities. But there is a lingering question- Why? Why discrimination against them? Even if it is acknowledged, it just never goes answered. Not that there is no answer to it, but because the transgenders are treated more with contempt than with esteem. They are feared more than respected (at least as human beings). They are untouchables of our society who are always kept at bay for their not so normal behavior. And then there are people like Ms Kalki Subramaniam who controverts all the above said matter. Being a transgender she has actually proved – Nothing is impossible for anyone who is passionate about accomplishing the goals set in life. When there are a million transgenders who still suffer discrimination inspite of their recent entries in politics and education, this lady has mustered courage and has taken enough pains and gone far enough to secure her place of respect and laudable recognition in our prejudiced society. She has started the first entrepreneurship programme for the poor transgender women. Apart from these, her recent achievements include the making of a music troupe called Viduthalai Kalai Kuzhu for transgenders, matrimonial site for them and the most significant one being the declaration of unique identity cards for them (as is available for males and females), which is truly commendable.

People like Kalki force the society to rethink about the norms that rule our bias ridden society, in retrospect. She has just ignited the fire called change and I believe the change will be for good…..

Way to go, Kalki!

Cheers & God bless!!