A wordless post

Humility - The key to exist in reality

The troublesome dilemma..

One of the things I detest in life absolutely is, a dilemma of any kind! The ‘Ifs’, ‘Buts’, ‘Or’, ‘maybe/maybe not’that cloak such vague predicaments (simple ones too), drive me crazy and, to no ends! Just when I am on the verge of deciding something important, the erratic constants of my life turn variable! Right now, I am peeved with how certain inconspicuous ‘constants and variables’ affect certain decisions while the ‘later to arrive’ wicked hindsight ruffles the feathers of ‘could have been better’ regrets! It is like, you have many roads in front of you but your destination could change any moment after you have embarked on your journey! In my case, the moment I decide upon something after a lot of forethought, Murphy bungles it up! And, how bad! It is infuriating, when even a small task depends heavily on many unsaid parameters! Most of my plans die silently even before they take shape. And, when I don’t plan, my parents worry incessantly as to why their only daughter, now also a ‘responsible mother' does not take the planning business seriously. And there is the hubby who enjoys throwing the ball in my court every single time, always supports my decisions only to explain me later about how my decisions could have been better! Now that I am contemplating on whether to even think about forecasting certain things OR not, I should probably be crowned ‘The Princess of Dilemmas’! How charming!

I wonder why such vagueness affects me so deeply. Is it because I do not want to take a certain decision all by self on an impulse and later be advised for a 'better next time' or, is it because time always fails me in the aftermath of certain decisions that are more of goof ups? Do I sound irritated? Sometimes, I am vocal about it. Most of the times, I am just scared of the decisions I need to take in the catch 22 situations. Because, I am never fully convinced about the rights and the wrongs, the pros and the cons, the ‘could be’s’ and ‘could be not’s’, when the stand to be taken appears out of nowhere! Well, I do not dread the decisions or their consequences, but the never ending advice that comes from every nook and corner on how the decision could have been taken and, better! 

And, all I would look at life and sigh,

“C’mon life! Bring it on!”

Phew! A momentary relief for a while perhaps and then, in the conundrums of “to do or not to do”, reluctance supersedes my decisive powers again. And again, the self is stuck in the same spot in a maze of never ending impasses - ‘to do’ or ‘not to do’.

BOOM!

P.S: By the way, forgot to warn that this is a rant post and that, nothing any fruitful about the read! In case, you have already read it, what can I say? (smiles wickedly!)

Some randomness, weirdness and quirkiness!

1. I am a pain when I have to shop alone! Because, I appear confusing to a lot of people I meet, especially vendors and shopkeepers. For instance, many shopkeepers get intimidated by me, when I ask them to show me stuff (all of it most of the times) and I pick up something they assume, I will not because I would have told them to keep it back and that, I would like to have choices! That quite explains, why I do not like to shop alone. I swing between being extremely indecisive and being utterly tasteless, when it comes to shopping. My mother is my eternal guide in this, as I blindly select what she picks on and it is always a 100% hit!
2. I do not like groups. Worse, I hate cliques. Although I like to talk, go out with people, and also love to make friends, I just cannot fit in a group. And, the more number of people, the more irritable I become. At such times, I feel like running away somewhere and drowning my head into a book or a pillow. No wonder, I hate to attend weddings, socials and parties.
3. There was a time, I believed with all my heart that there was a rabbit who lived in the moon and that, all those stars shining above, were made of ice that was green in color. I have had recurring dreams of falling stars and in many of them, I have tasted the stars! Damn Science! You killed all my imagination!
4. I am not religious in the sense, I am not a big fan of temple hopping, although I do it for parents many a time. But then, I do visit temples which is, when I want to. And, when I do, I just love to sit there and do nothing. I may be spotted closing my eyes and listening to the chants. That said, I love to recite shlokas coz I just love to (also, I feel a calmness that descends upon me when I hear Vishnu Sahasranamam and Hanuman Chalisa) I am not spiritual in the context of quoting from the Gita and the Upanishads. But, I love the concept of live and let live approach of life which I believe is what spirituality preaches. To seek the good within and, in the others!
5. I am not much into fashion stuff. I have limited number of fashion accessories, maybe a few pairs of pear sets (which I got as wedding gifts) and some pairs that my mother gets for me from time to time. Also, I don't like to accumulate them because I cannot maintain them as I lose them more often. (I have one from each pair that I can find!) I stopped getting facials and face packs a couple of years back, right after my recovery from an auto immune disorder (Something that did change the course of my life) Prior to that and before having a baby, when I was working, a visit to a saloon cum spas was a must for me and, how I loved them! I loved the aromatic smells of the packs, shampoos and the cleansers and the scrub. Somehow, since the past two years, I have stuck to just waxing and trimming of eyebrows. Why did I leave all that, I do not know. I just felt like leaving it on an instinct. All I know is, I have felt better since.
6. I am a big time Net addict. I love social networking. Not because, I love to see updates on my timeline, but because I love those minions that pop out to give me advice on attitude and life. I am a fervent reader of certain blogs and wish that I blogged too, with the same zest.
7. I love hot dal chawal with desi ghee/fresh white butter and with rasam, vegetable upma and fresh curd. I can survive on this comfort food all my life. And, I love almost all vegetables (okra, spinach, beans, carrots, pumpkin, beet root and raw banana are hot favorites!) I am not a fruit person. There was also a time when I detested mangoes. After I conceived, I binged on them. I could not imagine a summer since 2011, when I have not gorged on kesar and aplhansos. Needless to say, my son loves them too! Besides mangoes, bananas and water melons are other preferences.
8. Since the past two years, I have lost interest in pizza, burgers and pasta! Although, I make pasta occasionally when son wants! As for pizzas and burgers, the craze has almost died. Not that, we do not have them at all, but our visits to pizza and burger joints have reduced to like twice or thrice a year. Rest of the time, we relish Mughlai food (my all time favourite) and all Middle Eastern cuisines.
9. I am very much a milk person. I love flavored milk, malted milk (name all the brands – Horlicks, Boost, Bournvita, Maltova, Ragotin, Ovaltin et al), milk with sugar, milk without sugar, hot milk with hot jalebis at Bhavrilal’s (Mhow) and also, milk with turmeric and honey and then, all milkshakes. But, I hate milk sweets! And, I am not very fond of chocolates, although I like drinks like hot chocolate and cold cocoa. Occasionally, I eat cakes and pastries (which is only if I am not going to make dinner) and love to eat the carrot cakes, cheese cakes and pies made by my adorable neighbor cum friend Nav (from the previous station). Besides that, I don’t have much of a sweet tooth. Son and hubby compensate for me on that!
10. I love to dream a lot. Day dreaming was like a hobby to me once, until my mother would jolt me out of my dreams and bring my vigilante acts to a standstill, back to the boring world of differential equations, laws of thermodynamics and what not! And, I used to look up and sigh to God, “If only you made me a super woman, all your woes about the Earth going brown shall end!” Well, now I have gotten over those weird day dreams, although I still love to dream. Only that, I don’t have much time for it now, as my son keeps me on my toes all day. As such these days, I don’t remember much from my dreams.
11. I have had a crush on every Hollywood actor I know of! Sylvester Stallone, Jean Claude Van Dame, Arnold, Al Pacino (I still find him very sexy), Gabriel Byrne, Will Smith, Keanu Reaves, Robert Redford, Gregory Peck, Omar Sharif, Christopher Lambert and name them all! Those days, I just couldn't bring myself to watch the Bollywood crap with people going gaga over them. With all that effervescent craziness for the ‘kkkk....kiran’ SRK and appallingly long haired Akshay and Saif, I would wonder what on earth is wrong with these people! Not that my tastes have changed now. But then, there are some inconspicuous ‘taare zameen par’ in Bollywood too who do make me go weak on my knees with their acting and attitude. Like, Manoj Bajpai, Nawazuddin Siddiqui, Vidyut Jamwal (I wish this actor gets a break in his movies), Jaideep Ahlawat (this man has a killer personality), Rajeev Khandelwal and so on.... I wish these tornadoes of talents replace the Khans once and for all!
12. I love to watch horror/sci-fimovies/epic movies a lot, some of which explore the unseen frontiers of the universe and bring a third dimension to many of the existing beliefs and cults. That said, I don’t watch every horror movie. Just the classy ones! Loved the 1976’s Omen, 1968’s Rosemary’s Baby, Mary Shelly’s Frankenstein, Bram Stoker’s Dracula (I read the book too!), The Craft, Insidious (with the chapters), Conjuring, Orphan and many more. Besides, I am a sucker for all science fiction and cult movies. Resident Evil series happens to be my all time favorite! Also, loved the Clash and the Wrath of the Titans. Ok! You get the drift!
13. I am not a big fan of make up. There was a time,  when I owned every possible cosmetic of every brand. But, that was about 4 years back! Now, I just survive on herbal kohl, a comb, a lip balm, a lip gloss (if I am going out) and an Olay Moisturiser. What I deduce, I am happier with lesser stuff now. My fetish for designer stuff waned long back! My fancy handbags of Esbeda and Gucci have been gifted away in 2012 and now, a small leather pouch serves my purpose. I own exactly 3 pairs of sandals, two pairs of floaters and one pair of sports shoes. And, I don’t like to add more to the list, as I have realized, comfort supersedes desires any day! Not to mention, I get ready in about 5-10 minutes when we go out for parties, whereas hubby and son take their sweet time! ;)
14. I love departmental stores a lot. Even though I may not shop, I can spend hours going through the various rows stacked with ingredients from around the world, countless number of times! I guess, that quality is inherited from my mother. We can happily reside in a departmental store like Dorabjees, given the choice!
15. I procrastinate a lot and go into a shell instantly! Like, a new place, a new neighborhood, a change in weather, new faces bring out the worst possible introvert in me! Post marriage, when I shifted from a happening suburb of Pune to a conservative yet buzzling Somwarpeth smack in the middle of the city, and worse, with hubby posted in a war zone, I retreated into a shell and did not go out of the house for two weeks, until my parents came and rescued me from my ennui. Later, I got a job and the routine kept me busy. I just loved it! But yes, I still procrastinate!
16. Of the many house hold chores, there are two things I just cannot bring myself to do. Folding clothes and stacking them in the wardrobe and kitchen cleaning. And for some reason, I have never been able to let the maid do the former for me! At times, I am scared of being ever dependent on a maid. (especially after the #mychoice thing doing the rounds).
17. I do not like to chat a lot on whatsapp. Nothing like calling up, or meeting the person face to face. There was a time when my school friend and I wrote letters to each other. (she was in Bhopal then). We were in sixth grade. I loved those times. Writing letters and posting them with hand made greeting cards were laced with personal touch. Modern technology makes the feelings more pretentious. You get what I am implying, right?
18. The first impression people (who don’t know me yet) get about me, I am silent. I am cordial. I am somewhere between warm and cool. I am a little held back. I appear to be very conventional, traditional whatever you can call me! I do take a lot of time to mingle. I cannot smile or laugh with a person whom I have just met maybe, a couple of times or have conversed with, a few times. I connect with few people and those few people know me the way nobody does! But then, there have been times when I have connected with strangers too. And it amazes me, how! Those are few, but when I talk to them the first time, there is already a connection. Did I tell you, I met my husband like that? How I met my husband deserves a separate post!
19. I was a ‘very angry young woman’ once upon a time! I was attracted to debates, arguments and discussions (mostly on politics and feminism) just like bees to a hive! I am not sure, if I am still. My college mates and school friends feel, I have changed. They are surprised when I shy away from picking on arguments (something I could not resist way back!). That does not mean, I don’t get angry. However, I don’t like to be a part of futile arguments with no results, except in the case, when I feel the need to be heard.
20. I am my son’s sibling more than his mother. And, he treats me like one too. Sometimes, we take long walks together and he shares his imagination, stories, incidents from school and what not, with me. I love to pull his cheeks hard and see him cry as he complains to my mother about the devil I am! And, once the granny has reprimanded me enough, he runs back to me and asks me to pull his cheeks harder this time! There are times, when I feel like gobbling him up........yummm......slurpp....burp.......! OK! I am not a monster! That was just an expression! But still, I am such a brat of a mother who loves her naughty little munchkin to the moon and back!

Tagging Saroj, Navkiran and Shruthi! You may continue with the chain :D 

How much is too much?

During my childhood days, I have often seen aunties around bargaining with the vegetable and fruit vendors over a rupee and a little more. My mother never bargained much, except when she genuinely felt that she was paying a little more than what the commodity was worth. Ever since, a question always bothers me in the back of my head. How much is too much? Only now, my questioning perspective has broadened from the bargaining aspect to the other ‘issues’ that are silently encroaching into our mindsets, lifestyles and perception of the world around. The question however, remains the same. How much is too much?

For instance, take the example of the AIB roast where humour was way below the belt. Opinions overflowed. People were trolled. Debates happened and a lot more on the lines- The nation wants to know....blah! I have nothing against all of this. But, as an entertainer who engages his audience, how did not this thought cross his mind, “Does everyone perceive humour the way I do?” The basic issue is, we assume the world thinks the way we do. For instance, take Deepika Padukone, who has lent her voice to the recently viral video on empowerment of women. She has mentioned about the choices in a woman’s life (some of which don't make sense to me) and that, 'she is no choice for nobody'. Damn right she is about 'she is no choice for nobody'! But has she wondered, for which women was this video made? For those who are helpless examples of the adage - Beggars cannot be choosers? When DP, after having undergone depression came out a survivor in her own right, given the luxury of understanding parents and a psychiatrist, came up on this video, I wondered how easy it was for her to represent women empowerment and how uphill task it would have been for her, to work towards it. Many don’t have 'a choice', milady, the way you are offered in a platter! The video is not engaging, It is annoying. The lesser said, the better.

The more I talk about social networking, the more I rant about it. Initially, I had a love hate relationship with social networking. Off late, the hate percentage has ramped up. Nothing is normal. Everything has to be discussed no matter, how ridiculous the topics are. Not to mention, social networking sensationalizes even an octopus like Paul the Nostradamus of Football (RIP, Paul). We have crossed over into an age where people battle on twitter grounds, share unnecessary pictures and excessively boring selfies on Instagram and share a lot of unauthenticated information on FaceBook, leading to misguided anger, baseless opinions and daft arguments. Like, the recent picture of a woman showing off her stained paijamas to the world made headlines for what? Instagram took it down. And what shocked me, that many were furious that the picture was removed and they called the current mindset misogynist and what not. 'misogynist' I accept but NOT for this bullshit reason! A woman menstruating is normal. Agreed. It is like nature’s call. Agreed. It is natural. Agreed. But, what was the idea behind posting something like that on a social networking site and garner 'likes' and 'comments' alike? Whatever the idea was, I do not like it! And it bothers me as to, what this world is coming to? Fighting for taking down a pic when there are serious issues that need some serious addressing? And I wonder, what are you going to post next, how many times you get nature’s call? Get a life! DUH!

A couple of days back, I witnessed an accident near my place. A girl riding her two wheeler was hit by a four wheeler and was injured. She was unable to move. Her leg was fractured. My mom and I reached the spot only to find a huge crowd hovering over the poor girl. We gave the girl some water and asked people around if help had been called for. None answered. Half an hour had already passed and passer bys stopped to give suggestions on what need be done. I immediately called for the ambulance. The moment I made the call, a boy standing next to me made a call too. After a couple of minutes he says, “Ma’am, I have called for an auto. You can ask the ambulance not to come.”. I blew my top and burst, “Couldn't you have called an auto earlier especially, when so many autos had already stopped by?” (as mentioned by few bystanders) What I observed is, whenever there is an accident, about 90% come over to watch someone’s misery. The 10% do their job of calling for help or taking the person to the hospital. I was surprised at the manner in which a few guys hovered over the girl, not one offering help. Each one of them was busy texting. (I wonder if that is the first thing you do when you see an accident). By the time, the girl was loaded in the auto, it was already past an hour. Until then, people watched, discussed what need be done, argued over suggestions and intermittently prodded about the car that hit her. But, none called for help. And, I wonder again, where are we falling behind? What are we lacking? Somewhere, the need to act has taken a backseat in this gamut of sharing too much of ‘intellect’. Sad, but true.

Somewhere, we need to draw a line. We need to sit back and think, “Does the world have to know everything about my life?” This rage is rabid enough to turn friends to foes, break marriages and turn healthy discussions into uncouth arguments. What has been left behind, is murder of personal space. Somewhere, the individual’s voice has drowned in the cacophony of opinions, a result of mob mentality. We have failed to ask ourselves, “How much is too much?” 

Rightly said.

I just don’t get…

..Why does Deepika Padukone or Anushka Sharma or Lara Dutta for that matter have to take the 14 day Kellogg challenge (as if they really have Kellogs for Breakfast and Dinner) to attain a ‘healthy toned’ figure which they already have! I mean, try someone like me or someone healthier than me, and let me see if the challenge works. Seriously? Did you know you could keep a check on your weight without letting it ramp up, by drinking at least 5 liters of water a day and NOT binging on foods that have only fat, or probably more fat than the other essentials, besides a vigorous regimen of physical activity every day?

..Why is Cricket such a craze in our country? Why does Arnab Goswami have to blow his top because our country lost a ‘match’, ‘because a girlfriend flew down to cheer her love in the game’? Why can’t cricket be treated like a normal game? (Yes, it is far from a sport) Why is social media ‘bleeding blue’ like never before? (Well, Indians can ‘bleed yellow, blue, green’ whatever because I have lost respect for this game ever since the idea of IPL was conceived.)

..Why do people find it difficult to abide by traffic rules? Like, to not ride/drive on the wrong side, not riding on the pedestrian’s path, to not overtake from the left and all? How difficult it is to follow these rules? Or, are they as easy as meeting with accidents (some fatal)? Why isn't helmet compulsory everywhere?

..Why is Justice Katju so brash in making statements? Despite the fact that this man has given some notable judgments, landmark ones in many cases which is why, I was not-so-pleasantly surprised reading his article in the paper today about his views on Gandhi and SC Bose. Well, am no Gandhi fan but I don't get why a person like him should be writing such a childish piece and Indian Express was 'kind' enough to publish the piece too? And, when you are a public figure and have held responsible positions in life, you should know better about the way you communicate with the masses, especially through newspapers.

..Why is AAP hell bent on taking their political bullcrap to a whole new level? Why did Delhites have to elect Arvind Kejriwal again? Isn't once bitten, twice shy enough? (I had respect for this guy once but now, he is nothing more than a clown whose antics are not buying his circus called AAP, any audience! Except in the case, if he really manages to keep up his word as he promised, my opinion on him won't change!) 

..Why does the world care if Katrina and Ranbir are dating or Rishi Kapoor is too old to change his equation as a father with his son? Why is the media still stuck in a rut of the shaming and slamming? And, why does media have to write about KRK? Why can't our country ship idiots like him out of the country, for FREE? For once, why can’t the media focus on good news only?

..Why has the weather gone awry in all places? Why are there no mangoes yet? Why is it raining somewhere and immensely humid elsewhere?

..Why is this world obsessed with selfies? Why is this paranoia not going away? DUH!

Wow! I think, I have ranted enough for a day! Now, I need to have some ice cream to cool myself down…..PHEW!

Good news only.

Have you ever realized for a fact that what you hear, see and perceive over a period of time, becomes either your perception of the world or your worst fears? Just take a test of five questions below:

1. Will you, as a man be accepting and unaffected at the same time, if your spouse were to earn more than you do?
2. Will you be comfortable if one of your children (or say, only child) has a different take on sexuality?
3. Are you willing to accept that God resides in the good we do and not merely within the sacred realms of temples, mosques and churches?
4. If you see an unjust incident, say any like a person taking a bribe or a stranger getting beaten up by hooligans or say, a woman being eve-teased, are you brave enough to question the act or do you, succumb to your fears of being drawn into a seemingly unnecessary scenario which you may want to avoid?
5. Which are your favourite Bollywood movies?

Do not reply on impulse. Imagine yourself in a situation you have not encountered yet. Although the answers are predictable (Thanks to the changing mindsets today), the answers shall still vary. And the answers shall probably enlighten you about the person you are. But then, only if you are honest with yourselves when answering them. Maybe, you will be surprised at the way you think despite your advocacy for women empowerment, gay rights and what not. The way you have seen life until now, is the way you will continue to perceive the world around you. And that, is your perception of the world no matter, how hard you try to camouflage your actual opinions with cheesy lines on how women suffer and how women need to fight back. Face it! 

OK. Let me give you an example. For instance, Bollywood has forever portrayed man as a never ageing Greek God! People never have an issue with a 50+ Khan romancing a 20+ woman but eyebrows are raised if a 40+ woman has feelings for a man younger to her. Our society thinks the way they perceive the characters in the cinema. And I have grown up watching Amir Khan in movies like Dil, Jo jeeta wahi Sikandar and Qayamat se Qayamat tak, He was one of my impressionable crushes. But then off late, I found myself questioning, "ain’t Amir Khan too old to romance Katrina in Dhoom", or for that matter "Salman Khan too old to fall for the fresh Jacqueline Fernandez in ‘Kick’"?. (That said, I still adore Amir Khan). However, these very actors used to romance golden beauties like Juhi Chawla and Madhuri Dixit on screen, long back. And that is when I realized that our cinema has been instrumental in creating a somewhat vague image of a woman. As per Bollywood, a woman is nothing more than 'chittiyan Kalaiyan' or 'jadu hai nasha hai'. Precisely which is why our society is unable to perceive a woman any different than the usual - the desirable. She can be a strong, independent, fierce and dominant character, only in dreams! Anyways, I am digressing. The reason for this post is in different context altogether, though subtly connected with the perception theory I mentioned earlier and in my previous post. There is a reason why courage has taken a beating and fears of unknown and lack of goodwill have increased. Of course, is there anything good we hear about these days?

For instance, let's talk about the DEC 16 incident that shook the world. Playing and replaying the unspeakable horrors of the ghastly incident for over two years (including Suzette Jordan’s story) has not done any good to the society, except disturbing the already disturbed. I have had sleepless nights that year and I still get cold shivers when I think about the brave heart Nirbhaya. May her soul rest in peace. And then, the Park Street rape incident was highlighted. Suzette Jordan was not the conventional woman who wore salwar kameez. She was a single mother to two teenage girls and she was a supremely independent woman who lived life on her own terms even if she were jobless for a long period. She had no qualms about her drinking and smoking and she cared two hoots about what this world thought about her. And, when she was raped, the world loved to label her a slut because she was not the quintessential Indian woman our society expects a lady to be. Yet, she fought the world with all her might. I loved her. I respect that strong soul. (RIP Suzette). And I loved her to pieces when she said, "I have a name. My name is Suzette Jordan". She did not like to be referenced as ‘Park Street Rape Victim’. And this is precisely what I am talking about – the label! Yes, the label ‘victim’ that is slapped on a woman who falls prey to this torment of a lifetime – Rape. The physical scars heal over years but, the psychological scars inflicted, bleed for a lifetime. Imagine the amount of grit and will for a rape survivor to pick up the tattered pieces of her life, to begin all over again as a normal human, to brave threats and disturbing calls from unknown predators, to walk on the street without being pried upon, to forget the horrors she prays no lady must undergo. People, she is NOT a victim. She is a SURVIVOR. And, SURVIVORS make GOOD NEWS!!

1. A classic example of a survivor becoming a ray of hope for the others who live their lives in fear is Sunitha Krishnan. She was gang raped at the age of 15 by eight men. Today, a co-founder of Prajwala, an NGO that works towards rehabilitation of sex workers and their children, she has come a long way indeed. This woman braved the threats all her life and rose like a phoenix, proving that our unhealthy society needs to be treated. And that is what I call, GOOD NEWS.
   
2. Even as female infanticide continues, change has happened. Small it is, but it has started. A village in Rajasthan, Piplantri celebrates the birth of a girl child by planting 111 trees. An effort that promulgates eco friendliness along with the significance of a girl child in the world. Now that is, GOOD NEWS!
   
3. When Vidya Balan enacted the role of a sensuous pregnant woman searching for her husband in the movie, Kahaani, I loved the change. It was a breather to see a woman leading the movie. The change was liked too. Though, the movies that followed ensured that the society was not drawn towards the fact, that women are as impressionable as men. (thanks to Farah Khan and Karan Johar for their undying loyalty towards SRK and bringing back the audience to their clichéd bullshit stories!) Hence, the seemingly insignificant change in the genre of Bollywood movies that was reflected in Kahaani, Queen, Highway, Mardaani, Gulaab Gang and others of the kind may not have stayed with people as much as male dominated movies would have. Yet,  that is GOOD NEWS, because the change has begun! And, I love Vidya Balan. I adore her. Not because she is a Palakkad Iyer like me, but because she is one of the few actresses who is comfortable with who she is. Undeterred by the scrutinizing eyes of the media over how many pounds she gained and lost and then, gained and whether she is preggers or not, this actress has managed to rub it off her skin, despite the hurt she must have felt being judged on the ‘plumpness’ factor. Vidya Balan, I take a bow!
   
4. And then, unheard is the story of how this 29 year old LinkanSubuddhi, a software professional who also worked with AID India (an NGO), stalled a child marriage and not without a fight in which she was injured critically. This lady is a hero. And I call her, GOOD NEWS!
   
   
   
5.  How can I forget Malala and the many unheard ones like her? The world adores this 17 year old who was 14 when she was shot in the head three times. But, can a bullet kill a good soul? God intervened. The rise of the brave had started in the wild unruly frontiers of our neighbouring country. This girl now shines with the many honours she has been bestowed upon, one being the Nobel Peace Prize. And, she continues with the good work. GOOD NEWS, the better!
   

Now, many of you might cringe reading the above examples of GOOD NEWS! OF course, who does not know about all these? But then ask yourself, what do you tend to discuss more? People enjoy discussing the pain and the torment of a rape survivor more than discussing her verve to break free from the fear bubble to fight the world and move on. And that, is NOT GOOD NEWS at all!

Well, that does not mean, ‘stop being a realist’. But then, be a realist with an urge to move on from the stagnancy of 'what has happened is not good' to 'what can be done about this'. If there are 10 bad things happening in the world, throw more light on the one good thing that is happening simultaneously. People who are trying hard to do good in the world by helping the needy, educating the children in the slum and helping this society heal, deserve a better mention than how many rapes and murders are happening around the country. A couple of years back, my brother in law Sridhar (a journalist) had started a group on Facebook – Good news only. When the group started, I initially wondered, “what is the point in spreading good news only? Why keep the world in dark about the news that is not good? Understanding reality is more important than living in a bubble that the world is good.” Those were my initial thoughts. I was so so wrong! Understanding reality is a faux pass today. We do not ‘understand’ reality. We empathize with it. We relish it. We discuss it. We gossip about it. We play and replay it. We devour it. We forget it. But we do NOT understand it. 

'Good news only' may not solve problems instantly. They may not change things drastically. They may not even be convincing enough to be a story that must be heard. But then, there is one thing which they give, HOPE! Once people understand this, Faith will follow suit. And then, the change will happen. Which is why, we need ‘GOOD NEWS ONLY!’

P.S: In case you were wondering why I have not given my answers to the questions above, here they are:

1. will have to ask hubby. Knowing him, he is extremely broad minded as he has been a strong advocator for double income. For the present, it is me who is not working by choice. :P
2. Too early to say ;)
3. Yes, I believe God resides in the good we do. I will leave it at that.
4. I am not sure how I will react as I have not witnessed any incident such as that.
5. Damini, Ram teri ganga maili ho gayi (I loved the end), Arth, Bhawana, Abhimaan....all movies that bear a woman protagonist.      

Why women are treated the way they are.

Suzette Jordan (the Park Street Survivor) dies. A septuagenarian nun gets raped in West Bengal. A child is abused in Ahmedabad in ways that send chills down the spine. And, then there is this documentary – India’s daughters that brought back memories of the braveheart Nirbhaya. (May her soul rest in peace).

I have not seen the documentary yet, except for the wretch and his lawyer’s interviews that were shared on social networking sites. I am not going to say how appalled I am or how women are not respected in our country or how certain men in the world are born evil. No, I am not. Actually I am tired of our media. I am sick and tired of the movies that are shown. I am not surprised at the kind of heinous crimes that are happening like a usual thing. Give me one good reason as to why I should feel surprised or disgusted. Take for instance, Deepika Padukone. This actress flipped when her cleavage became nation’s favourite topic of discussion, thanks to TOI. There was a barrage of open letters (I still don’t get it! Open letters? Seriously? Once you have written/typed something and you put it on Internet, what open and close are you talking about!). And then this, AIB roast happened. Again, I would refrain from commenting on this as I have not seen the show. But, there were a few jibes on the same actress that caught my eye. Jokes that ‘should have appeared in poor taste’ to her when the whole country discussing her cleavage was unacceptable to her. I would rather appreciate Sunny Leone in that aspect. I have not seen her movies but the world knows that she was a porn actress and she is candid about it!  An artist can never lead a life in black and white which this lady knows. But my intent to write this post is not that. We have some serious issues here.

Give me one Bollywood movie which saw the rise of a woman protagonist overshadowing her male counterparts. The first name that comes to mind is Raj Kumar Santoshi’s Damini, a movie that was loosely based on a gang rape of a tribal woman. How many more of such kind followed where a woman was shown powerful enough to take down the chauvinistic men who lusted after a woman’s body rather than respecting her? Aah, the second name that comes to mind is Lajja (again by the same director) where four women who suffer the atrocities at the hands of male chauvinists rise like the phoenix showing the world that they better not be antagonized. Gulaab Gang, Bullet Rani and Mardani are the recent ones. But who discusses these movies? It is one time watch for most. But what we still continue to discuss is how Hrithik looked smashing in Bang Bang and how SRK has not lost his charm in Happy New Year or how Bipasha Basu sizzled in horror flick Alone. (Thank God! Bips finally realized that she is apt for horror movies!) or how DDLJ completed some 100 years of love. BULLSHIT!! Worse, the Khan club is still romancing ladies half their age on screen. People, what do you expect from all this? 'Respect for women'? It is dead.

Cinema is instrumental in creating the psyche of a society which is why there are questions directed towards the artisans of Indian Cinema:

1.  If you directors keep glorifying the biceps and countless packs of the actors and only project women as objects of desire, what kind of a response do you expect from a demented society as ours? Stop behaving like men rule the world! It is the hand that rocks the cradle, that rules the world, morons!! 
2. When you are unable to respect the artistic talents in a woman (except for portraying her well endowed assets), how does this world expect a society to perceive a woman any differently? Show her side of the story to this world. Show the world that there is more to a woman than her pretty face and perfect curves. Have you forgotten movies like Arth and Bhavana? 

And a few questions for media,

1. You share a rapist’s interview with the world. Why? Why do we even have to listen to it? (so that a few devil incarnates like him multiply?) We are not shrinks. At least most of us are not! Instead of berating a person who is already and insanely vicious, why not encourage women to learn self defence? Please don’t earn your bread butter using a lady’s helplessness and hopelessness.
2. Foreigners who love to make documentaries about India, you are doing a good job. But please don’t tell me that your country does not have the ‘wild wild west’! You have your stories too. Only it is the other country’s story that will earn you perks! Please, everyone has to answer for their actions someday.

A few years back, I watched Mira Nair’s Kama sutra. It is a brilliant movie with an amazing cast ensemble. But since the name is about the forbidden topic, people refrain from discussing it, let alone watch it! Believe me, it is an aesthetically shot movie where no scenes disturb you in the aftermath. However, movies that portray rapes and assaults have a far worse impact on the psyche of a human mind. Be honest when you make this judgement. What disturbs you more? The natural or the unnatural? Somewhere, I feel the media has to be more responsible when it comes to the sorry plight of women today. They need to work towards building a far more powerful image of a woman rather than depicting her as a distraught victim of a society that is still driven by radical views on gender and sex. Probably Quentin Tarantino must consider making movies in India. Remember, Kill Bill’s character Beatrix Kiddo aka the Black mamba aka the Killer Bride? We need her. Now.

And Suzette Jordan, RIP.

The world has every reason to laugh!! ~ From a Nomad's diary

(1) A month back, my friend P gave birth to a beautiful baby girl. I wished her on Facebook and was glad that of the eight members in the Octopus group of our college (yes, we are the eight dangerous tentacles of Octopus), four of us are now mothers to adorably little octopuses! A month later, I rejoined my college group on Whatsapp.

P: Hey welcome back! We missed you a lot! Hope your phone is working now!

A: Look, who has come again. Welcome back, nani…we missed you a lot. How are you?
S: She is like a visitor here! Chalo, ayi to sahi! Kabhi baat bhi kar liya karo yahan pe!
M: Arre nani.....kidher thi itne din.....Arjun kaisa hai?
And the welcoming went on until I thought I should initiate some conversation from my end too! And, I ended up asking..

Me: hey all....How have you all been? Long time indeed…..And, P, when is the little champ coming?

There was a sudden silence in the group that I did not understand. Some expressed with confusing emoticans! And then, there was a barrage of ROFL!! Now, I do not want to remember how horribly I got trolled just the way Alia Bhatt was, for her incredible display of IQ on Koffee with Karan. P being a good friend had a good laugh too, but not before gently reminding me that I had already wished her on the arrival of a beautiful bundle of joy who was already a month old. THIS is what happens when you hop homes twice a month!

(2) I am still getting used to the touch screen of my new phone. And then, there is this auto correct that makes things worse! The other day, I was chatting with a friend and wanted to ask her, "How are things?" and the 'i' got replaced with 'o', thanks to auto correct and I had typed, "How are thongs?" She was ROFL! The second fiasco happened when I wanted to write, "One sec please!" and the c got replaced with x. I shut down my phone and wanted to bury my head in a sandpit! Auto Correct, Just DIE!!

(3) So, one fine day I had gone for some grocery shopping. Not that I had a long list with me or I desperately needed to buy essentials, I had just wanted to indulge in retail therapy. And so, I did buy way too many items. Looking at my basket, people thought I had never seen a retail store in life! The only thing I was glad about is that my bill did not empty my wallet completely (which meant, I could buy more). Stores have stopped giving away polythene bags and so the items were put in cloth bags that could barely hold them. I was least bothered as I had parked my car just a few steps away from the store entrance. And so while leaving, I was loaded with about five unshapely cloth bags filled to the brink, that I had to carry like babies in my arms. Just as I stepped out of the entrance, two of the bags slipped from my hand and the contents were strewn all over the place! With three bags blocking my view, I almost stumbled over the mess and had a nasty fall and I wondered, if hubby had passed his resentment in telepathic waves! Well, I carefully picked up the items, placed them in the car and raced away, swearing not to buy if I had nothing to buy! However, my woes did not end there. When I drove back with son in tow, home and I parked my car in the shed and got out, I was greeted by an army of langoors right outside! I had to wait for at least 30 minutes before I honked like crazy to drive them away. Well, two of them were so intimidated that they jumped on the car roof and on the bonnet for long and stopped only after I screamed my lungs out for it to stop!! Phew.....  That was one hell of a day is all I can say! 

(4) Fauji wives have endless commitments and social engagements. So, whenever I had to leave for an engagement in late noon, I would wake up my hubby and ask him to close the door once I leave. On one such occasion, he probably forgot. When I came back home, I saw that the living room was a mess. There were footprints of an animal I couldn't identify as to whether it may have been a dog, or a monkey or a langoor or whatsoever! So, I unconsciously got into a habit of locking the door whenever I had to go for some chores outside. So the other day, I had yet another engagement and I decided to take my son along. As usual I told hubby to lock the door and I left. While in the meeting, my phone kept buzzing incessantly and I had to excuse myself as it was hubby calling. "What did you do? You locked me inside! What is wrong with you? I have to go for Games and I am late because of you!"  And, I realized that, not only had I locked him inside, I had also displaced my keys somewhere, which was later found under the seat of the gypsy I had travelled in. I do not want to mention how the later part of the evening went for me. It is just too obvious!

(5) And, there was this one incident that was like a cherry on top of this fantastic beginning of 2015 for me! I had been to a Walmart Franchise in the town and was awed by the warehouse that stocked almost everything you can want under the Sun. I had decided only on essentials though I ended up filling my basket with some desirables like mushrooms, bell peppers, dried apricots etc (things I could not get in the cantt). It was only after I reached the billing counter I realized that my basket contained unfamiliar items, things I had not even touched. And the 1 kg of fresh tomatoes and half kg of carrots were gone. In its place, there was 2 kg packs of gram flour that was cut from the end, thereby spilling flour all the way. It was only then out of the blue, it struck me how a lady had casually put her hand into my basket and pulled out a coffee mug. The moment I saw her questioningly, she had placed it back and moved on. Well, not that I paid for anything I had not purchased but I was amused at the attitude in certain people. Laziness can touch the sky too! Well, besides my tomatoes, carrots, mushrooms and bell peppers, the other items that were missing from my basket were, a pair of kitchen napkins, a scissors and a few packets of mixed pulses. Lesson learnt that day, was not to leave the basket unattended even for a second!

Well, the world has every reason to laugh and now, you may!!

Home, sweet home..... ~ From a Nomad's diary

And after living like a hippie for about two months, am back home, sweet home for a hiatus. Sometimes, one needs a little stability. A fauji wife needs it too, albeit her flexibility in adapting to the different climates, places and people. With hubby away on work, and with my son missing his grandparents terribly, I thought it won't hurt much to stay with parents for some time. At least until the time we get quarters in the new station. A lot has happened for me while I stayed in the new place and here are the things I missed badly:

1. I MISSED idli, coconut chutney, arache utta sambhar, sevai, adai, poriyal, rasam sadam, avial,kal chatti kootu (kerala style) and all south Indian cuisines. You can take a south Indian out of South India but you can never take South India out of a South Indian, so says my hubby who likes any cuisine but south Indian. Well, he is 110% right! I have had recurring dreams of the above mentioned cuisines in the past two months. That explains, why home, sweet home brings a big smile on my face!
2. I MISSED the familiarity of my place. Every time I visit Bharuch, I am engulfed in a wrap of nostalgia. More so, it is the belongingness here that gives me an assurance of sorts. I love the people here, I love the temples here and I totally love the weather of Bharuch. Extreme it is, but I love it! And it is now that I noticed that small towns have a royalty about them. I grew up in a neighbourhood of educated people where uncles and aunties were more like friends and where, academics and sports were a priority always. I grew up with people who were simple no matter how rich and influential they are. I grew up in a town where I was well chaperoned by the Convent Sisters at my alma mater, Queen of Angels’ Convent. And that explains, why I am amused when people from cities have their noses pointed towards the sky, as the cities have malls, amusement parks and international schools. Well, I have nothing against the cities. But, just because a city has a a costly school, an airport or a mall doesn't make it any ‘cool’ or ‘kewl’. It is the attitude towards self and the humility that matters. In that aspect, there is only one city that bears my hometown’s humility and that is Mumbai. Of course, I can never match the city’s pace and hence, can never stay in it and yet, it is the best city I have visited so far. However all said, Bharuch is an emotion for me and not a place, merely and hence, it shall always be my first love. Always.
3. I MISSED long conversations with my mother, the endless shopping trips with her and her loud opinions on politics and women empowerment. Did I forget to mention, my mother is a highly opinionated and a strong willed lady who hates to lose arguments? My father instigates her on many occasions just for fun by claiming to support a political party she despises! Well, they are one funny couple and they totally deserve another post!
4. I MISSED my neighbours a lot too. N Aunty and P Aunty. N Aunty has been my best listener all my life. In those days, when I fought with mother over the many issues (all academic centric), I would instantly run to her and rant about not being understood. Aunty who is elder to mother and has a son who is way elder to me, treats me like a daughter she never had and so, would happily lend a patient ear to me, trying to figure out ways to bring my mother and me on a common page. P Aunty on the other hand who is younger to my mother, is more like a friend. I could share secrets with her, which I may not have felt comfortable sharing with anyone at that age. And the fact that she understood me, made me feel so good then. She has a son and a daughter (both younger to me), for whom I am like an example on how to be and more on how not to be :P These ladies along with their spouses have watched me grow from a difficult toddler into an even more difficult teenager and then into a very impulsive young woman who would blow her top at the drop of a hat and later, into a mellowed down mother to a naughty little onida (my son). After my parents, it is my neighbours too who have been with me through the highs and lows of my life and I can’t believe that time has flown so fast. Apparently, it has.
5.  I MISSED playing games like badminton, chess, business world and cards. When mother had come over to visit me, she had got with her three packs of cards. We were all ready to play rummy when my chirpy son jumped over and decided to play too. My mother was only too happy to include him in the game as she started teaching him about the clubs, the artins, the diamonds and the spades! (I have pinched myself every time I see her talking to my son. She is as patient as the hours with him. It was only me with whom her strictness knew no bounds!) Well, the game did not last because it never began in the first place as our room within a few minutes resembled a book of Black Jack with every card flying in the air. It took us more than two hours to regroup the cards and pack them up. Lessons learnt. Playing cards has to wait! 

And while I am catching up on the many things I missed, stay tuned for some interesting posts on grandparents, parents and their wars of leniency vs discipline and much more!

To de-clutter ~ From a Nomad's diary

If I had ever mentioned aloud that I always wanted to be a nomad, perhaps I forgot to specify the manner in which I wanted to be one. Lessons learnt: Be very specific in your wants! Jokes apart, I have had so much on my mind that I now want to de-clutter so that I can think clearly. Well, even as I write this post, there are laborers standing on the roof of our temporary accommodation and trying hard to ‘demolish’ it. Special repairs is the term for such cases! So, getting our permanent accommodation (Govt quarters) seems to be a distant dream for the moment and so, will be soon moving places again. Well, all that said, I just realized that it had been just a month and a few days since I came here. And, it feels like I have almost spent a year here! Time can be slow and sometimes, it suffocates too. Not one simple plan I make has fructified here. In fact, I am scared to think of a plan lest Murphy hear it! Sometimes, I feel I have been busy collecting all the jinxes instead of good lucks and charms, before I came to this place! I mean, seriously. How is it, that not a single simple plan works out for me, like buying vegetables from a shop that is a 3 min walk from my place? (Don’t bother as to why! I have reasons that shall set your head rolling!). Duh!

I was just doing a math on the years that have given me some or the other kind of trouble. Starting with 2007, it was bad bad. That is probably a year I would like to erase from my memory for reasons best known to me! Then came 2009, the year of health woes. I had sever issues with my throat and then came, chicken pox (something that eluded me in childhood. The fun part was this pox visited me right a month before my engagement! How convenient, no?). Also, I came down with this urinary tract infection besides having been sent for swine flu screening as well! What was God thinking, really? Then came 2011 when I was carrying my son. Hubby was posted in war zone. I couldn't talk to him for days and when I could, it was a 2 minute conversation before the fauji phones disconnect. Also, my pregnancy was a roller coaster ride as had to opt for a C Section due to certain complications! But it was also my best year because my bundle of joy came into my arms as his touch assured me that everything was going to be fine from then. It was a year of mixed feelings. Then came 2013, the year that almost killed me. But, I have a soft corner for this year as my personality underwent a paradigm shift and I started taking life more seriously than before. I respect that year, despite the horrors I faced during my stay in Rajashree Hospitals, Indore. And why not? It showed me a formidable side of me that I was never aware of. And now, 2015. This year is like a comedy of unbelievable errors, considering the place I am stationed in works entirely on chaos theory. And now, I don’t want to get into the details. It is just that, either I forgot that I am highly intolerant to bullshit or I am a stupid stuck in a land, where everyone else is worse than me! Anyways, I just want to get through this phase. Until then, like my hubby puts it, “Let’s beat the odds!”. Damn, we will and together!

In all this chaos, I have been still able to enjoy life and there are only two reasons for my smile. One, hubby and the other, my son! Both drive me crazy. Both fuss a lot when it comes to food. Both are identical in their food and sleep habits! Both love Chinese food. Both love being outdoors all the time. Both love the idea of having a wooden stick in hand and trying to practice some kind of martial arts with it (I never understood this fascination though!) Both love to tell me what I should do and what I should not. And, both love me unconditionally as much as I love them to pieces!! Motherhood has changed a lot for hubby and me as spouses. It has gotten us closer to each other than ever before. We have our disagreements from time to time, but all of it disappears the moment he tells me, “Narayani..I tell you….there cannot be a better cook than you!” and then he goes ahead to damage the compliment by saying..”Of course, when you reach your mother’s age, you will be the world’s best cook just like her!.....By the way, have you gained some pounds....you are looking cherubic!” GRRRRR.........................

I have had a love hate relationship with social networking (includes blogging). As for my hubby, he is totally averse to the idea itself. It is only after my coaxing he joined FB. However, he rarely checks it. Well, I for one, am drawn towards this evil as much as I despise it. I can rant endlessly on how this thing has changed lives and how it has broadened the distance between people. At the same time, I love to read a lot on the Internet and especially some good posts on FaceBook. Of course, I love it for more reasons than I hate it for. And then, there are blogs. You don’t see a person face to face and yet, you connect with their writing. Somewhere, some bits and pieces of childhood, hostel diaries or workplace stories, the jibes and digs at politics and what not emerge and suddenly, there is a connection. For instance, there are a few blogs I love to read and I never get bored of them. When I read blogs by Sowmini, Revathi, Purba and Shruthi , I connect with them at many levels, emotionally and intellectually. And, these blogs have actually kept my grey cells alive in the last month which was horrible, plain horrible. Well, this month is no less but I am kind of bracing up, toughening up a little bit. And yes, next time, some idiot comes over and tells me to get a job (because he or she thinks I should) or how I should manage even if hubby is out of town or how I should be leading my life, I am going to find the nearest weapon of any kind and smack his/her face! If I need advice, I will ask. If I don’t, stay as far as possible from me! And now, for things to do: 

To reach home safely with son, until we get a roof!!

To plan a career.

To read a lot of books.

And, to spend quality time with son with his studies!

And God, don’t let Murphy screw my plans this time. They are pretty harmless and I really really need to get a hold on my sanity, which at the moment is disintegrating! 

Well, that said I have learnt a few valuable lessons here, in the new place:

1.       Do not do something when your heart and mind together screams, “NO!”

2.       Don’t unpack if uncertainty is the only certainty in the present. 

3.       People are going to dish out advice like they followed it all. And such kind don’t like to be questioned back!

4.       Being good is sometimes mistaken for complacency  and that, is not acceptable to me!

5.       Being brave is a good thing. Being stupid is a bad thing. Being brave in a stupid situation is unforgivable!

Now that I realize that this has been totally a rant post! Well, once in a while de-cluttering mind is as important as feeding the soul with optimism.

Signing off…Until then, ciao!!

The Help ~ From a Nomad's diary

The first two weeks in the new place, as I had mentioned in my previous posts was a blur for me. I had problems with the place because, I was practically doing everything in the house right from mopping the floors, washing utensils, washing clothes (Our washing machine was not unpacked then) to cleaning the bathrooms. By the way, did I miss out on cooking food and also dropping and picking up my son from school? And then, working in a harsh cold winter was not a joke. And when I say, it is not a joke, I also would like to point out, how thankless we are, or have become towards the people to whom we often outsource these tasks. 

Thankfully after a couple of weeks, I managed to get a maid here, who cleans the house now. Also, my washing machine got unpacked last week and hence, half of my woes have gone away! And now, I also get to spend a lot of time with my son, of which most of it is spent screeching a the top of my voice, "Arjun, eat your food! Arjun, finish your homework! Arjun, drink a lot of water" and so on and so forth!! I have also started loving the new place and my son has finally adjusted to the environment. He has got a new cycle now and I take him out almost every evening. Maybe, I am appreciating life better than before, because I have a supportive spouse, whose judgments and timely advice howsoever strong have always been right. And then, my loving son makes me feel complete despite the small inconveniences that suddenly seem even more trivial.

Last but not the least, I have great respect for the help now, considering their work is not easy to say the least. When I had complained a lot about my troubles, hubby used to listen patiently and then help me around with the tasks (the ones he could help with). A few days back he mentioned over tea, “Sweetheart, when you do things yourself, you will be able to manage things beautifully even in the most hostile environment. Dependency is a disease and make sure it never comes your way!! ”

And then he winked, “When you do things yourself, you can get things done very tactfully without bending rules or codes”

The bottom line is, managing your work, your home and your world can be difficult, crazy, insane and can push you to the wall. Sometimes, you can get the urge to run away too. But then, managing your world is definitely NOT Impossible. After all, who ever said growing up or raising kids was easy??

And, I am NOT complaining!! 

By the way, here is a quote I would love to share - 

Oh sweet lady, ADAPT!! ~ From a Nomad's diary

The main drawback of good times is how they remind you of what you could enjoy or, what you have been missing out on. Or, is it the harsh flip of time when suddenly you find yourself midst the unknown, with unclear intentions floating around and, with people trying to get the most out of you for reasons best known to them? I am not sure. 

At this moment, nostalgia seems to be my biggest enemy and it is perpetrating my clarity of thoughts.

Yes, I made really good friends in the earlier place. Here, I am yet to see a soul as my next door neighbor. Since when did I miss out on the ironical truth of life that one needs to find solace in the company of self too? Or, did I not actually miss that out, but am getting the rougher drift of life that, man is after all a social animal! Right! Somewhere at this juncture, I feel stranded. I feel suffocated. I feel a little out of my place. My son feels the same too. Unfortunately for me, I cannot emote the way he does, by crying all over the bed, or throwing tantrums just for the heck of it. How do I explain to my son, that we are in a new place and we are not going back to Mhow anytime in near future? It pains me when he says, “mumma, I have packed my bags and we have a train to catch for Mhow! When are we leaving? I do not like this place!”. I am not sure how to answer that especially when I feel the same way too. Friends who became family in Mhow are missed so dearly that suddenly the greenery around, the barasinghas, peacocks and the flock of birds that perch on my porch no longer interest me! Worst of all, I have not been able to pick a job that should keep me busy. The time has not been ripe for it as yet, as the chances have come down to just beating the odds! Or, maybe I have let this phase pass.....

It is now that I realize when the senior ladies told me a thing or two about unit life. “You are never going to get a place like Mhow! Unit life is never going to be easy!” Yeah. And that reminds me, how things never came easy to us. Well, for hubby and I, struggles have been like a regular drill. And then, so be it! If that Almighty puts us to test, then he shall sure give us a way out from the test too. At the moment, the optimist in me is keeping the fingers crossed.

Lines for the moment:

Everything happens for a reason. The reason has to be good.

And, this too shall pass!!

Amen!!

Musings, ramblings whatever!! ~ From a nomad's diary

It has been two weeks already in the new place. The post vacation lag has not left yet. The old routine has started again and time seems to pace very slow. Maybe, I am missing the old days where I had someone to go talk to for tea or perhaps, see my son happy with his peers living nearby. For the present, I am physically exhausted, low and drained off mentally. The new place is yet to convince me about its niceness. Well, we have not got our permanent accommodation yet and so, we have settled down in a temporary one, a decently big one BHK with a beautiful lawn.

Talking about my son, he is taking his sweet time to accept the change as there is none near by to play with or socialize with. (My son is a social butterfly in the literal sense). Hubby is busier than busy and we rarely get to see him (the earlier place was more relaxing in terms of getting to spend quality time with him). Unit life is sure one hell of a change to look out for!! But then, I do not want to dwell in this ennui for long as acceptance is any day a better alternative to resistance. That said, the new place is picturesque and amazingly green. We have not set up our TV and the need is long gone as there is a moving National Geographic outside. Woodpeckers, kingfishers, cuckoos, parrots and  dozen varieties of sparrows and partridges flock in the garden and near by. I love feeding these birds with bread, chapattis and some fruits. The first two days, they did not touch the food in my presence (probably making sure that I was not a threat) and now, they sometimes perch next to me on lawn and seem unperturbed by my movements. It may not be a reciprocation to be precise, but perhaps an indifference borne out of an understanding that we both live and let live. Then, there are langoors and monkeys. It would be more correct if I said they are an army with all generations and all sizes living together. And, it is here I learnt that the two kinds of the same species do not see eye to eye and that, monkeys are the naughtier lot. One can also spot huge pigs that look like wart hogs. Not forgetting to mention, there are scorpions waiting to sneak out at least expected times. Meanwhile, did I tell you that we were warmly welcomed  at our temporary accommodation by a baby scorpion that held its tail quite high?? (for a second, I thought it was going to fly using that tail). I slowly responded by putting a shoe over it and then making sure that it left my home in peace. The fact, that I had never ever seen a scorpion and that, I saw this extremely poisonous brown one within a few steps, freaked me out for a while. That night, I do not remember having slept very peacefully with the images of the dead reptile blurring my dreams!

My son has already joined school here and he totally loves it, considering that, that is his only outing for the time being (It is freaking cold in this place. The sunlight comes in for a couple of hours only). And then imagine the plight of a hyper active toddler who doesn't get to go out (courtesy, the cold) and doesn't have a TV on which Nat Geo could be watched, or for that matter NO Internet from which rhymes could be downloaded. But then, we do have a lot to watch out for as I drive my son to school and back home. Sambahars, Barasinghas and a lot of peacocks can be seen tippy toeing on the roads. The fog factor is the only deterrent as it becomes difficult to watch out for these forest guys to cross the roads as and when they feel like. (Yes, we are the invaders in their world!!)

And, it had been tough for a week until we got the much desired Internet connection. Felt like suddenly, there is a light at the end of a long boring and endless tunnel. Things have slowly started to ease and so, this post!! However, my woes do not end as Murphy and I go a long way. I had purchased a new mobile from Flipkart earlier this month. A MOTO E. I have never been a fan of a technology inspired phone though, the idea of owning one was too hard to resist. Mail, Facebook, Twitter, whats app, Google and name it! All from a phone in your hand! And, I was glad to own it as the audio was too good and I could play the morning prayers in it. However, nothing gets easy for me in the first go. The battery melted and the phone has conked off. I had to ship it back to my hometown for a replacement as the time window of the purchase is less than a month.

I have often been blamed for not being in touch through whats app and all. But then, I fail to understand why people find that to be the only means of staying in touch. Can't one call once in a while?? And so, my fizz for the gizmo has left me for good and I am happy using my old Samsung (non smart) phone that does not decide for me on its own, which photos have to be photo shopped and which need to be backed up. In hindsight, I feel I need not have purchased one at all. (a thought in the fit of the moment) All said and done, I am going to take this easy and let this time pass till I shake those dormant brain cells of mine and make things happen in an interesting way.

And now, I have to grab my cuppa filter coffee……care to join?? ;)

The train from 2014 end to 2015 start for us. ~ From a Nomad's diary

Packing and moving to a new place, once in every two years is fun and no fun. Of course, I know not at this moment, which one is more. But there is a certain amount of pressure and anxiety for a fauji wife when the next sojourn starts. And needless to say that, with a toddler who leaves no stone unturned in executing the chaos theory while packing. Well, all is well that ends well and we managed it pretty better than the last time. A nomadic life is fun of sorts!! At least, I can say that for now J

And that said, I am going to miss a lot about the place that has seen me in my best and worst times, Mhow!! If the year 2013 was challenging for me, year 2014 was no less as known to a few chosen people (people close to me shall know). No wonder, I can confidently proclaim my sense of maturity that has been borne out of an acceptance and resilience for situations I did not have much control on. And the big tree in front of my home at Mhow taught me a thing or two about life.

• Good times and bad times are a part of life. Neither of them are permanent.
• There will be a change, good or bad, whether or not you like it. And change is what keeps life going..

As I look back, the two years of my stay in the mofussil Mhow earned me great friends, admirers and a lot of unsaid respect from people I never knew. Considering I am gradual when it comes to socializing, I am elated to have made good friends who were also my neighbors. The fact that I could converse with them about anything and everything under the Sun, over cups of chai, biscuits and namkeen, makes me feel so emotional that I find it a little hard to digest that I shall be meeting new people again. Of course, change comes at a time least expected. Norm of nature, isn’t it?

 

As we were driving down towards our next destination, I suddenly felt like a veteran nomad. My navigation skills were apparently better than before, as I was keenly observing the villages and the milestones that popped more often. (My husband and I are more of ground learners as we do not follow gprs but a simple google map taken down on a paper .) As we took a few intermittent breaks like a scrumptious breakfast at Indore’s India Coffee House and a cuppa tea later at a road side stall on the state highway, we were well fueled up for the rest of the journey. 

There is a lot one can learn when driving down from one place to the other. The small changes like changing of the landscape, the attire of men and women and the weather that turned from cold to colder suddenly were conspicuous. There was a visible difference in the way vehicles such as tempos waddled around, brimming with people who were clinging to the vehicle in any which way. Besides, one could see the amount of shebang the drivers loved to incorporate in their vehicles. Those dangling braids and a lot of glam decorations explain how much the men love their vehicles (after their lugahis….of course).

The other apparent changes were the color of the soil that changed from a rustic brown to a desert red  with the beautiful zig zag roads with abrupt turns swarming with heavily made up trucks. And then, after a 6 hour drive we stopped by for tea again. We cooled the car tires with some water and by 7 in the evening, we reached our destination that was waiting to welcome the crazy trio!!

And before the new place gets us busier, we got a short break before joining the new unit. As of now, we are basking in the warmth of my hometown Bharuch that has quite unfolded beautifully. A town that was nowhere to be heard of in the past, now sports a Dominoes, A Subway, An INOX and ADLABS, A Big Bazaar and an upcoming mall with a CCDay, is surely going big! Well, effects of vibrant Gujarat perhaps!! That said, we made a short trip to Nashik and Mumbai to catch up with relatives we had not met in a long time and, that was surely therapeutic although the train journeys that frequent was physically exhausting. And it was this time, I saw Mumbai in a different light despite the fact I had visited it umpteen times since childhood. Perhaps, as a child I lacked the perspective. Having grown up in an alternative environment, I felt claustrophobic in the city as a child. However this time, I was intoxicated by the rabidly busy pulse of the city. Sitting on Marine Drive with hubby and child took me to a different world for a while. The overwhelmingly mystic waves of the Arabic Sea overpowered the seamless cacophony around us.  The trance sustained for a while until it was broken by a garam chana vendor passing by. While enjoying hot garam chana and bhel, we took a walk by the Queen’s necklace as it continued to mesmerize us with its beautifully lights that lit up the promenade. The Majestic Taj with its British styled architecture still stood masjestic post 26/11. And finally at 10:30 in the night, we had a lovely dinner at Girgaon chowpaty with family friends!! We also spotted a few Kongming lanterns that lit up the sky. The sight is surely unforgettable!

One of the other places we visited was Bandra (Bandstand as they call). Enjoyed the corn by the sea while the promenade continued to brim with people waiting to catch a glimpse of King Khan at his residence - Mannat! Also, rode over the Worli Sea Link which counts as an unforgettable experience. The next day, we headed back to Bharuch but not before breakfasting comfortably at Cafe Mondegar (An Iranian joint at Colaba Causeway). As we left for the station, the memories from my Mumbai diaries shall stay as fresh as ever). The city sure has a charm of its own that has continued to baffle many as to how this city continues to flourish despite its seamlessly growing cosmopolitan population. Of course, it is no surprise that is India’s New York!! (Not forgetting to mention, we also visited Nehru's Science Center and Planetarium at Worli)

And now, as the new year has already rolled in, what be the new year resolution? I dread making resolutions as I not only do not follow them but tend to do everything that I might have sworn not to. So let the resolutions be a surprise!! (Now that includes, for me as well!!)

And for all out there,

Let this year bring more peace, good will and tolerance.

Let this year bring more sanity, maturity and wisdom.

Let this year be one that starts on a good note.

Amen to that!!

And signing off for now.....

P.S: Watched three movies this year…..PK, Ugly and Tevar. Reviews coming soon….