Swimming in an ocean of thoughts.....

Ask me no questions and i shall tell you no lies :)

Wednesday, March 4, 2015

To de-clutter ~ From a Nomad's diary

If I had ever mentioned aloud that I always wanted to be a nomad, perhaps I forgot to specify the manner in which I wanted to be one. Lessons learnt: Be very specific in your wants! Jokes apart, I have had so much on my mind that I now want to de-clutter so that I can think clearly. Well, even as I write this post, there are laborers standing on the roof of our temporary accommodation and trying hard to ‘demolish’ it. Special repairs is the term for such cases! So, getting our permanent accommodation (Govt quarters) seems to be a distant dream for the moment and so, will be soon moving places again. Well, all that said, I just realized that it had been just a month and a few days since I came here. And, it feels like I have almost spent a year here! Time can be slow and sometimes, it suffocates too. Not one simple plan I make has fructified here. In fact, I am scared to think of a plan lest Murphy hear it! Sometimes, I feel I have been busy collecting all the jinxes instead of good lucks and charms, before I came to this place! I mean, seriously. How is it, that not a single simple plan works out for me, like buying vegetables from a shop that is a 3 min walk from my place? (Don’t bother as to why! I have reasons that shall set your head rolling!). Duh!

I was just doing a math on the years that have given me some or the other kind of trouble. Starting with 2007, it was bad bad. That is probably a year I would like to erase from my memory for reasons best known to me! Then came 2009, the year of health woes. I had sever issues with my throat and then came, chicken pox (something that eluded me in childhood. The fun part was this pox visited me right a month before my engagement! How convenient, no?). Also, I came down with this urinary tract infection besides having been sent for swine flu screening as well! What was God thinking, really? Then came 2011 when I was carrying my son. Hubby was posted in war zone. I couldn't talk to him for days and when I could, it was a 2 minute conversation before the fauji phones disconnect. Also, my pregnancy was a roller coaster ride as had to opt for a C Section due to certain complications! But it was also my best year because my bundle of joy came into my arms as his touch assured me that everything was going to be fine from then. It was a year of mixed feelings. Then came 2013, the year that almost killed me. But, I have a soft corner for this year as my personality underwent a paradigm shift and I started taking life more seriously than before. I respect that year, despite the horrors I faced during my stay in Rajashree Hospitals, Indore. And why not? It showed me a formidable side of me that I was never aware of. And now, 2015. This year is like a comedy of unbelievable errors, considering the place I am stationed in works entirely on chaos theory. And now, I don’t want to get into the details. It is just that, either I forgot that I am highly intolerant to bullshit or I am a stupid stuck in a land, where everyone else is worse than me! Anyways, I just want to get through this phase. Until then, like my hubby puts it, “Let’s beat the odds!”. Damn, we will and together!

In all this chaos, I have been still able to enjoy life and there are only two reasons for my smile. One, hubby and the other, my son! Both drive me crazy. Both fuss a lot when it comes to food. Both are identical in their food and sleep habits! Both love Chinese food. Both love being outdoors all the time. Both love the idea of having a wooden stick in hand and trying to practice some kind of martial arts with it (I never understood this fascination though!) Both love to tell me what I should do and what I should not. And, both love me unconditionally as much as I love them to pieces!! Motherhood has changed a lot for hubby and me as spouses. It has gotten us closer to each other than ever before. We have our disagreements from time to time, but all of it disappears the moment he tells me, “Narayani..I tell you….there cannot be a better cook than you!” and then he goes ahead to damage the compliment by saying..”Of course, when you reach your mother’s age, you will be the world’s best cook just like her!.....By the way, have you gained some pounds....you are looking cherubic!” GRRRRR.........................

I have had a love hate relationship with social networking (includes blogging). As for my hubby, he is totally averse to the idea itself. It is only after my coaxing he joined FB. However, he rarely checks it. Well, I for one, am drawn towards this evil as much as I despise it. I can rant endlessly on how this thing has changed lives and how it has broadened the distance between people. At the same time, I love to read a lot on the Internet and especially some good posts on FaceBook. Of course, I love it for more reasons than I hate it for. And then, there are blogs. You don’t see a person face to face and yet, you connect with their writing. Somewhere, some bits and pieces of childhood, hostel diaries or workplace stories, the jibes and digs at politics and what not emerge and suddenly, there is a connection. For instance, there are a few blogs I love to read and I never get bored of them. When I read blogs by Sowmini, Revathi, Purba and Shruthi , I connect with them at many levels, emotionally and intellectually. And, these blogs have actually kept my grey cells alive in the last month which was horrible, plain horrible. Well, this month is no less but I am kind of bracing up, toughening up a little bit. And yes, next time, some idiot comes over and tells me to get a job (because he or she thinks I should) or how I should manage even if hubby is out of town or how I should be leading my life, I am going to find the nearest weapon of any kind and smack his/her face! If I need advice, I will ask. If I don’t, stay as far as possible from me! And now, for things to do: 
To reach home safely with son, until we get a roof!!
To plan a career.
To read a lot of books.
And, to spend quality time with son with his studies!
And God, don’t let Murphy screw my plans this time. They are pretty harmless and I really really need to get a hold on my sanity, which at the moment is disintegrating! 

Well, that said I have learnt a few valuable lessons here, in the new place:
1.       Do not do something when your heart and mind together screams, “NO!”
2.       Don’t unpack if uncertainty is the only certainty in the present. 
3.       People are going to dish out advice like they followed it all. And such kind don’t like to be questioned back!
4.       Being good is sometimes mistaken for complacency  and that, is not acceptable to me!
5.       Being brave is a good thing. Being stupid is a bad thing. Being brave in a stupid situation is unforgivable!

Now that I realize that this has been totally a rant post! Well, once in a while de-cluttering mind is as important as feeding the soul with optimism.


Signing off…Until then, ciao!!

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