Be the change to see the change...!! ~ From a nomad's diary

Inspiring!! Yes!! We need to change our thoughts to see the change we want in our world :D

Do you love your mother tongue? ~ From a Nomad’s Diary

X: “Hey! Are you a Tamilian? I mean, how do you speak Hindi so fluently?”

Me (taken aback): “Yes, I very much am a Tamilian, although am born and brought up in Gujarat. Guess, that explains J”

X: "Oh! So, you know Tamil also?"

Me (now smiling): "Oh Yes, I very much do."

Such questions set me thinking, “what is the big deal, after all?” Or may be, I do not find it a deal at all considering, I am one blessed soul as my parents and I have always conversed in our mother tongue Tamil, despite the fact that my parents have been up North and West for most part of their lives. As I grew up, I learned Hindi and Gujarati as good as I leaned English (Yes, I am not fluent in Gujarati as I never got much of an opportunity to converse, although I learnt to read and write this language with ease). But, Tamil always is my first and fluent tongue and I love conversing in it, irrespective of where I live.

However, such questions as I mentioned above make me wonder, why? Why is it assumed that most South Indians do not speak Hindi which rings as true as a busted myth that most North Indians do not speak English, or just the other way round? Why a few Hindi speaking people often forget that because Hindi is their mother tongue, they are fluent in it just as we Tamilians are in Tamil. Tamil is our mother tongue, as much as Bangla is for Bengalis, Marathi is for Maharashtrians and Gujarati is for Gujaratis and so on. However, that is not what prompted me to write this post. I almost believed that most of us South Indians may have faced this issue until I was surprised by a close friend who complained to me, over a casual chat that her child does not speak in their mother tongue at all. Of course, I am not sure whether she was actually complaining or feeling otherwise (glad) about the fact that her child refused to or did not understand the language. As, I have observed this in many Tamilians who refuse to speak in Tamil and would endlessly chat in any other language but their mother tongue, just to 'fit in the crowd'. And this uncivilized habit carries forward when people start bantering even as they realize that there are people of yester-generation sitting midst them, who may not necessarily understand what is being spoken. And, it is this thinking that brings me to the crux of my post, "Do you love your mother tongue?". Because, if you don't, you should. And, here is to why mother tongue is important, especially for a growing child.

• When a child is born, the first language it learns is touch of the mother and the aura of her presence that shields the child, giving him the much needed assurance and security he needs, as he takes his first whiff of the surroundings. And, the second language he learns, are the kind words, the mother uses to communicate with him. This language is the mother tongue, the language that brings with it, a bond of love.
• As the child grows, his cognitive abilities increase as he learns myriad expressions in his mother tongue, grasps the words being spoken around and tries to apply the words and expressions appropriately, thereby expressing self with an individuality. Hence, this first language brings in clarity in thoughts and actions of a growing child, as young as a toddler.
• Then, there are many aspects of nature that are better expressed in mother tongue, especially the art of story telling and songs. For instance, when I first tried explaining to my son about moon, he did understand. However, there was a lack of interest. Then, when I sang a small Tamil rhyme showing him the moon in the night, “Nila, Nila, Odi va. Nillamal odi va!” (Nila means Moon in Tamil), he immediately correlated it and said, “Ma! Nila means moon”.  And he further surprised me with, “Ma! Nila in tamil, moon in English, In Hindi what?” . The question led him learning a few words in the third language Hindi, besides learning his first language Tamil and second language, English simultaneously. Grasping power increases manifold when mother tongue is spoken at home.
• Mother tongue is one of the best ways to bond with people. I believe, it plays an indispensable part in building up strong social relations. Also,it helps a person become confident and independent in more ways than one, as he/she does not grow with a feeling of ‘trying to fit in a crowd’. It helps a growing child chisel a dynamic identity of his own. And so, he merges flawlessly in any crowd he wants to. He never has the need to barge/try/beg to 'fit in'.
• Lastly, mother tongue is an integral part of every person's identity. Notwithstanding social and peer pressures, it helps a person think in different ways besides fueling his imagination. Fluency in first language always paves way for creative abilities, a penchant for learning foreign languages, academic excellence and a healthy social life. After all, it is the language that heart and mind understands alike.

In umpteen occasions, I have found people refraining from conversing in their mother tongue, either out of a wasted thought of ‘Log kya kahenge’ or out of a false pride in throwing around a facade, “Oh! I am not one of those uncouth regionals!”. And, I don’t blame people for such blatant display of their misconstrued personalities. Because, besides home and school, there are many other factors that decide a person's physical and mental growth. But the strength of not having to give in to the building pressures of peers and other social elements comes from a strong bond with the language spoken at home. It opens up the mind like a parachute giving us a perspective to look at everything differently.

Such is the bond. It is not a shame to speak in your mother tongue when can and when you should. And, it is important to remember, that flaunting is least necessary when you have the humility to keep your feet on ground even as you may be a flawless bilingual. Bonding with mother tongue is as important as bonding with one's own mother :)

So, do you love your mother tongue? :)

P.S: I am proud for a fact, that my three year old son is fluent in speaking and understanding Tamil. he is gradually picking up Hindi and English and does make a lot of errors. But that does not stop him from interacting more and more with people around, even as he is corrected more often by us and our friends. After all, first language is the mother of all languages. Isn't it?

'Weighty Issues' ~ From an nomad's diary

I did not know how to name this post, but I hope what I write here does justice to the title. And one may wonder, why such a post all of a sudden. Well, every third person I meet has something to say about his/her ‘extra pounds’. And, every time I hear about people bragging on ‘How much kilos have you shed? Oh! I just managed to get rid of these flabs!’, I can’t help raising my brows. Ok! Here, let me tell a bit about myself, before people get deceived into believing that this post is being ranted by some gym trainer/fitness freak/’yogi bear’ or whatsoever!

I do not have a slim trim toned figure to flaunt. I am more towards the healthy side and being a mother of a naughty prankster, I don’t have time to hit the gym. Oh wait! I don’t need one! I am on my toes all the time, with little time to do some reading, some singing, playing some keyboard and some blogging! My days are longer and nights are invariably shorter, no matter which season of the year it is. Yes, you guessed it right! I am ‘the humble homemaker’ who has transitioned gleefully from a once career oriented software Professional who at one time, was married to her job, drowned in conference calls, drinking horrible coffee, discussing software updates and working her brains off to deliver projects on time. And then, I had thought, “Woohoo! Can anything get more challenging than this?” Phew! The answer is staring right on my face now as I am typing away to glory after sending my two and a half year toddler to school. I can vouch for a fact that a homemaker’s job is no child’s play! Well, before I deviate from what I have in mind for this post, let me brief about why I was impulsed to write this post. 

Off late, I see many people around me suddenly inspired to stay fit. However, the definition of ‘fitness’ too, is variable like ‘what is right or wrong’. And my views that I express here, are solely mine that have sprung from mere observation. So, where was I? Yes, I was saying about this sudden behavioural outburst at the idea of staying fit. But what I have observed is, people merely want to lose weight which is thought to be synonymous with staying fit. It is not just in the place where I live, but even when I was a part of corporate world, I have observed how reckless people could be with their bodies. The cycle would be something like, gain a few pounds (Thanks to MacD, Dominoes, PizzaHut and Sizzler joints) and then join the gym to reduce. Once having followed a strict regimen that curbs those lustful cravings to eat mayonnaise/cheese/butter loaded burgers and sandwiches and flatbreads, the urge to binge hits a new high once the desired weight loss is achieved. And, that is where the problem starts for many.

We all love to eat. And, we all dread the word ‘calories’, though we love the same when it sounds like ‘calories burnt’, ‘calories down’ or ‘zero calories’. And, we all love the idea of ‘hitting the gym’ (quite a fashion these days). And, we all, whether or not we follow, totally adore the idea of staying fit, with a toned body sans water retention and dark circles. The idea, when reaches the stage of implementation though, deviates from the idea of staying to fit to simply losing weight. Yes! Staying fit means you are in control of your hard earned pounds of flesh. However, the other way round that shedding weight to get lighter does not necessarily mean staying fit. And many a time, I have observed that in the pursuit of losing weight, people skip breakfast, eat as per a diet plan (some diets go by the name of crash diets too) and then kill their desires to eat something their frenzied taste buds crave for and then finally, once the diet plan deadline is reached, they hog on everything they missed during their ‘weight loss plan’. Now, I am not against diet plans at all. It is a good idea to shed some extra pounds to stay fit. But, what is not good is to gorge in the aftermath. Not only is the essence of weight loss lost, but the idea of staying fit becomes a misnomer. Besides investing so much of hard work in staying fit, one needs to gain a self control as well. Self control as in knowing what to eat, how much to eat, when to eat and when to stop.

My parents have this ‘Five Thumb Rule for a healthy living’

• Early to bed, early to rise.
• A time for everything and everything at its time.
• Breakfast like a king, lunch like a prince and dinner like a pauper. Don’t kill your desires. Eat whatever you like, taste everything but don’t binge.
• From a busy schedule, 30 minutes of a day must be dedicated to physical fitness (like walking, yoga, gym whatsoever)
• And finally, gossip less. Sometimes, mental baggage is extra weight too. A healthy mind alone can compliment a fit body.

My parents belong to a generation where words like ‘metabolism altering mechanism’ and ‘burning calories’ don’t make much sense. For them, even gyms don’t make sense. My father who is nearing 70 can still do surya namaskar effortlessly.  My 60 something mother who does not sport one extra ounce of fat in her body still does all the house hold chores all by herself, considering our home is a big independent home with a garden to maintain. My mother, for a fact, has never got her eyebrows plucked and has never done a facial in life and yet, her face glows like a luminescent lantern often shadowing many made up faces wherever she goes. My husband jokes, we don’t need an emergency light in the dark with my mother around! Oh yes! She simply glows, as if she emits some light from within! I doubt, whether we of the present generation will nurture a health, stamina and a will of that kind, at their age. And, it has taken me more than a decade to understand what my parents kept drumming into my head unsuccessfully for years (now that I am a mom, I know the daunting task ahead),

“Want to look toned! Be a stickler for discipline – a time for everything and everything at its time!

Want to look toned and healthy, along with discipline, eat everything but in limits!

'

Want to look toned, healthy and gorgeous, with discipline and good food, wear a smile and keep your mind healthy by keeping it busy”

P.S : And, yes 'the humble home maker' definitely deserves another post!

The first compering experience ~ From an nomad's diary

Have you ever felt the happiness for being recognized for something that has been your brainchild? Have you ever felt the ecstasy that runs into your veins deep as that resonating sound of applause and congratulatory remarks still rings in your ears for something you did the first time? Well, the feeling engulfed me a when a few days back I hosted an event, or more precisely to say, compered for the first time, addressing a crowd for whom I was just someone who belonged to their fraternity, until the moment I  commenced with compering.

A month back, I was approached by a friend who requested me if I could compere for a station ladies meet. I wasn't quite sure and I had refused. And then, the issue was forgotten until I got another call from a senior army wife a couple of days later, who asked me if I would be interested to host the meet. I always believe in signs. If there are signs that repetitively remind you of something, or prod you to do something, I feel it is a decision made already. And this time, without much thinking, I said yes! And I had no idea about the hosting part, as I had never gone anywhere near a stage for any reason, for more than a decade. But with my husband's usual words of encouragement, “Just do what you have to, you will find your way!”, I decided to take the plunge.

And with all encouragement and guidance from unknown quarters, my partner and I prepared our script which was proof read and fine tuned from time to time. The final outcome was definitely sweet. I had those initial goose bumps about holding the stage and the attention of the audience, as all first timers are. But once my partner and I were there, there was no looking back. Well ‘no looking back’, here meant a statutory warning for us by the senior army wives who had already prepared us saying, “whatever happens, just keep the show going!”. And the event turned out to be a grand success. There was a small skit performed by us, followed by a group song by four gifted singers and a fusion group dance by four exceptionally talented dancers. When the event was over, I realized for a fact that beginnings are always those rough grounds in any project of life. They carry uncertainty with them, leaving many loose ends to be tied. But then, only when we face the beginning, the way ahead clears and the end of tunnel can be seen. It felt good to have participated, no matter what errors happened (which I came to know were not noticeable at all). But the whole experience was gratifying. The feeling of holding a stage, addressing a crowd and getting an overwhelming response from them, is totally out of the world. What more can I say? Can only thank the organization for having given me a chance to rediscover a facet of my personality, I did not know, existed.

Special thanks to my partner Saroj, who has an engaging smile, an infectious laughter and a joke up her sleeve always! And that always puts everyone around her at ease. So the first time was definitely a worthwhile experience. This experience has definitely proved that, “Hard work and sincerity always pays”. And it is a live example of what my father keeps harping time and again,

“Do your job. Let the credits run after you!”

So true!

My first moving and packing experience ~ From an nomad's diary

Well, well, where do I start this post from? The feeling right now is so exhilarating that I am not sure how to describe it. My first packing and moving experience has only commenced, of which I can say the former is done and the later is yet to start. But the overall experience was incredibly enlightening (must mention, in a bitter way). Lot of things learnt and lot more to learn yet. All the excitement and the anticipation of what a new place awaits you dies down the moment, packing nightmare starts. And so me being me who started packing a little late as usual ended up in a labyrinth of packing where there seemed no end to it until I disposed off things I had cherished for long and was made to swear by my husband that I would never purchase items that I never remembered to use. Promise made (for now, at least!).And coming to think of it, I wondered how the other army wives manage it, considering this was my first move. It has to be extremely strenuous, overwhelming and mind raking experience to move and pack once in every 2 or 3 years, in the process making a note of every item one has accumulated over years. It has to be quite a propelling experience for an army wife who has to make every place her husband gets posted to, her home, and at the same time imbibing the uncanny knack of knowing what to buy and what not to.

So, after a volley of heated arguments with hubby dearest over who has accumulated more than needed, who has wasted more money on books and who is worse when it comes to maintaining orderliness at home, and finally after a steady torrent of pin pointing sessions, both of us swore that the next time packing wont be this worse! I guess that was the last but positive straw to get pulled for the day. But, as they say, experience is the only good teacher in life, here are a few candid tips for people who are nomadic (like me) for most part of their life.

• Before you start with packing, make a list of all the items at home. Do not postpone this task, because the list only gets longer and complex with time and as the packing starts, one is left just *rolling his eyes*. Also take a note of packing material required. Trunks, stencils, duct tape, cartons, thermocol and bubble wrap are bare essentials for moving and packing. 
• A fortnight before packing, pack up all the small items, showpieces, wall pieces, glass ware and unused appliances. One may use newspapers and old torn clothes to pack them. The small items turn out to be the real culprits after the bigger items are packed. They kind of make you feel in the end that you haven’t yet started with anything! One important thing, write over each package of what it contains.
• If you have unused groceries, cooking oil, and other kitchen material, tape them well (try to make them air tight). Also before packing masalas and spices, make sure to dry them well in the Sun for a day. It prevents any kind of infestation.
• Do not throw away polythenes/carrybags/paperbags etc…..they come extremely handy during these times. Also discarding polythene bags add to pollution. So one might as well use them for stocking.
• Clothes, shoes and the many apparels we ladies have, always go under the scanner when packing starts. They are apparently the cause of all the major arguments that happen between couples. So, try to dispose the old apparels, ones that are not going to be of much use but happen to be in good condition. Blessed are the givers, I say!
• Do not throw away packing stuff like thermocol, carton pieces and cardboard sheets of major electronic appliances. Keep them in a safe place free of dirt and moisture. If kept in good condition, they will be of good use for at least a couple more times of shifting.
• When packing curtains, pillows, sofa covers and bed sheets, you may accommodate them in your fridge, if it is big enough to do so. All the kitchen ware before being packed must be sun dried and wiped with a dry cloth. It saves you a lot of repetitive cleaning when unpacking.
• Books can be best packed in cartons. So if you have used/unused ones, do not throw them away. Make sure you have bubble wrap too. This thing is very useful in packing beds, appliances and books as to some extent they act as shock absorbers and also keep your stuff water proof. In case you have mattresses, wrap them in old cloth and them bubble wrap them. If you have cotton mattresses, you might roll them well and tie them, with your pillows and bed sheets too.
• And last but not the least, after accommodating major stuff in your trunks and after packing all the appliances, lock each one of them, mark them well and most important, write over them, your name and your destination (for eg: Pune --> Mumbai). Make sure, your keys to your trunks are safe.

Well, that’s it. Now after all the learning, let me announce that I am moving on to a new place .And am quite excited about the new life that awaits me there. The best part about being an army wife, is living life as a nomad, learning to adapt to every new place, new people, new environment and a new lifestyle. It is not simple though. But then if life were simple, where would be all the fun? Isn’t it?

And so for now, it is just "Adios Pune" :)

Will keep updating about the new place and its forte soon. So stay tuned, is all I would say for now…..Hope my packing tips above help the rest like me who will be living a nomadic life for a long time.

Signing off…!!

Cheers & God bless...!!

Art of shopping ~ Retail therapy

The below article of mine was published in a weekly magazine. So thought of sharing it online too :)

What is it that you do on weekends when you have had outdoor activities enough, dined out a lot, partied like crazy or have explored all the city joints enough or, have spent too much of time indoors? And then, you just want to break free from the monotony of life by indulging in something that makes you forget your woes for the day for a while at least? Shopping! I can already sense the ladies smiling. Well, retail therapy as good as it sounds, is like those dosages that work wonders when one just wants to change something about self by spicing up his or her regular lifestyle. Looks, clothes, attitude and personality undergo a major change during retail therapy. Precisely, shopping acts as a medicine by driving away depression without having to ingest bitter pills and tonics (leave aside the costs incurred in retail therapy). And who doesn't like to shop? The fresh smell of floral prints wafting from branded cloth stores or the comfort feel of hand woven cotton fabrics and denims, the aromatic flavors of the various cosmetics in popular brands and the funky smart footwear that make one imagine self in all delightful ways sporting them with the right attire, draw a person to shop. But then there is always a line, a boundary, a limit for every desire. Isn't it?

Notwithstanding the benefits of shopping, it can act as a drug for people who go overboard with their desire to shop. And that is when it becomes an addiction. Today, shopping is not just an outcome of necessity but has become a way of life, where all it means is to dive into a fantasy world just to be away from the mundane routine only to enjoy the splash of fresh colors and soothing smells. But then if shopping were to become an obsession, it can disrupt a normal life and make it chaotic. And that is where one needs to learn the art of shopping.

‘All that glitters maybe gold but need not to be bought!’

Sometimes, we are so much carried away by the glitterati around us that we often forget that happiness resides in simplicity. And for a shopaholic, it is almost impossible to comprehend.  So, if you feel like buying something that you don’t need or may already have, you just need to ask yourself three questions…..

‘Do I need it now?’

‘Is it worth the money I am spending on it?’

‘If at all I buy it, how much or how long will I use it?’

Sometimes, a rhetorical self questioning like that may help you curb those uncontrollable impulses to buy ‘all that glitters’.

‘Learn to give and shop judiciously!’

Many of us, or rather some of us have that emotional attachment with things that make us nostalgic, which in the process prevents us from disposing them off, despite the fact that they just occupy space and our memory and nothing much. Well, it doesn't really hurt to give away what we don’t need. Isn't it? And coming to think of it, just because we like some food, does our body choose to store it indefinitely only because the tongue loves the taste? No. So why not give away old clothes, toys, books, game boards and shoes that are no longer in use? The result is rewarding. Not only do your closets become spacious and clean but also you would realize, how many of those things you had were really put to use in the past and which, now would guide you to shop judiciously. So when you are out with your shopping bags and fat wallet next time, you definitely know what to buy and what not to.

‘Window shopping don’t hurt!’

There is no doubt about the look good, feel good factor that tags along with shopping. But the ‘be good’ factor is overlooked many a time. Sometimes, excessive shopping can lead to excessive spending and zero utilization of the items bought. It also leads a person to believe that his or her happiness resides solely in shopping. And that is where a person totally misses out on the logic behind shopping. In fact, if one were to sit and analyze the consequences of shopaholism, the results are always the same and not very good: Absolute dearth of personal space and time, negligible savings and no peace of mind. In such cases, one can choose to window shop. You can see and feel all you want without pinching your wallet. And that is because all that you want may not be what you need. For that however, developing self control is very important. Easier said than done, I know. Self control is definitely not an easy habit to form. But then don’t they say, “It is the beginning that is always tough and then the rest of the journey is a cake walk!”

Shopping is an art and it comes with experience. There are times, when we just spend money as if there were no tomorrow. It quite happens to all of us at some time or the other. But what one has to realize is to not get carried away by the marketing gimmicks. Moreover, one must apply one’s own logic to shopping by asking self the three questions that have been mentioned above. I am sure you will get your answers right! And to enjoy shopping to the core, all you need to do is choose: Shopping as a need OR as a drug. After all, the take is yours. Happy shopping!

Growing up or out? ~ A personality check

There was a time in our lives when even the pettiest of issues in the recent times would have appeared mammothian and would have unlocked a dam of tears from a well spring so deep inside us that we knew not the fact, that we were young then, vulnerable to hurts, susceptible to believing hearsay and probably too innocent to comprehend that life is nothing but a cornucopia of pleasant and unpleasant instances. Yet, with each phase as we grew we grew shedding the image of the year gone by only to adapt to the new phase in life. But then, somehow there always is one category of people who fail to adapt to the changes that life has to offer and continue to live in a self created time loop, unwilling to come out of it knowing for a fact that there is nothing in the world that could beat that one enemy of theirs, the age and more so, the experience that tags along.

What is making me write about this all of a sudden? A couple of days back, one of my college friends and I were casually chatting when she inadvertently blurted out that she and one of our common close friend were not in talking terms any more. On more probing, I happened to know that the cause of such trifle was merely a very small thing after all. And that she had failed to attend the latter’s marriage for some genuine reason. Well, I was more amused than being surprised as I have had such experiences a tad too many. But what I did not get about all of this, is what was the mere point in breaking ties with a person you have been so close with for over a decade over such a trivial matter? And that is where I would say, maturity does not come with age but it rather comes with experience. For all, it made me think, ‘Why do people have to behave in an insolent manner in the most fragile moments?’ (considering every human is an insolent monkey at some time or the other in life), ‘Why do we get hurt by some dear one leaving aside the fact whether the hurt caused was intentional or not?’, ‘Why do we often succumb to that inescapable impulse to answer back when we know that the person does not have the intellect to understand anything that we may have to say?’ and such questions keep prodding in more and more! And here, I remember having read a statement in my school days,’Work expands to occupy time’. If I could draw an analogy to this statement, it would be something like, ‘Unquestioned sensitivity expands to occupy sanity’. And then sanity is lost at some time. Just like my friend was quite upset knowing not whatever happened that the other friend just snapped ties with her, and all for something so trivial.

I myself have experienced many instances as these. Rude and insensitive questions have always popped up at the most inconvenient times, such as,’You don’t seem to socialise much post marriage’, ‘You don’t return my calls at all!’, ‘You seem to have forgotten friends for good’ and so on and so forth. Of course, not that every clown in the town deserves an answer, but just that I had never sworn some oath to explain to every other person to answer questions that are uncalled for. Some questions have been pretty hurtful too which have eventually led to broken friendships. And such moments often help you understand that some things are just not meant to be.

But there is one thing more that one learns eventually with experience. When you get hurt by someone, it is not because that person wanted to hurt you, leaving the intention part alone, but because you just allowed yourself to get hurt. The space, the attention and the most precious of all, the time you give a person determines how susceptible you will be to getting hurt by his/her shortcomings, despite the fact that your own shortcomings may get overshadowed by your overbearing eyes that refuse to look inside of you. A fact of life that each one of us has to live with is knowing that somewhere down the line, our opinions will change, our priorities will change and our personalities too will undergo a lot of transformation. The goodness and the well being of body and soul lies in the realization, that no matter what changes, the positive attitude towards life, the acceptance of life with its bittersweet moments and to accept one’s own shortcomings with all humbleness should remain the same.

Shop, Shop until you drop at the Dorabjees ~ Retail therapy

'Happiness is a state of mind.'

A very clichéd advice/mantra to understanding happiness. However we all have the freedom to interpret it the way we want. And don’t know why I relate to this statement in the best way when I am indulging in retail therapy, not forgetting to mention here, much to the chagrin of my husband and my father. Something that men will never understand or something that we women may never comprehend the pain of their wallet getting pinched, which for a fact, may not be even felt by them! Yet, blame it on the store shopaholism which I am so badly addicted to. And I wouldn't say I was one of those who enjoy window shopping because I purely, absolutely and utterly enjoy only shopping (sans the window part)! And then after a major break in the year 2011 wherein I was in a self chosen hibernation where I was also as a matter of fact rehabilitating from the shopping addiction apart from giving health the top priority and loving the life that was blooming inside of me then (yes, I am a mother now to an adorable 10 month old!) and having changed considerably from that healthy yet not fat looking woman to a healthy fat looking woman, the self imposed self control, the self imposed pledge, the self imposed resolution to not fall to shopping addiction, all of it disappeared into thin air, the moment the mammothian self sufficient beautiful, charming, resplendent amazing top class departmental store, my all time favorite departmental store – Dorabjee caught my eye.

Dorabjee is located right across the SGS mall in the Moledina road of Camp in Pune. Ever since I stepped in Pune, I have fought hard, pretty hard from succumbing to that magnetic pull from that particular store, which used to be one of my most favorite hang outs in the past 4 years. Like my husband calls the entire strip of this Moledina road of Camp starting right from Dorabjee and ending with the 500+ shoppees of Clover center as the Devil’s Inn. It is a battle to restrain myself from hearing that ‘Come to me, Come to me, I am waiting!’ from this area. But then, in the end it always feels good losing out on the battle between the mind and the heart just like yesterday when heart won and my mom and I shopped to our heart’s content at Dorabjees! And the impact it had on hubby and his FIL was definitely not a tasteful one. Leaving aside the sad, unhappy, resentful reactions and arguments that followed, coming to the happy part, I finally got bitten deep and hard by the shopping bug for good, and some good meaningful shopping in a long while never hurts that much, or will it? So here is a review on the store, just check out!

Review on Dorabjee :

For people who are new to Pune or have little knowledge about departmental stores must visit Dorabjee for sure! And you may ask why, to which I answer, 'Visit and you shall be answered!' As you enter the store, the wafting aromas of freshly baked pastries, veg/chicken burgers, pizzas and hot simmering noodles surely puts you in a dilemma as to whether to shop and eat or to eat and shop! Yes, at the entrance of the store there is a cool hangout to time up for a little snack before indulging in your shopping delights. And the entry to the store is from the right.

Ground floor:
The store is a two storied with the ground floor comprising purely of groceries, spices, malted drinks, soft drinks, chocolates (most of which are high quality imported ones), exotic varieties of fruit jams, bread spreads, biscuits, wafers, coffees, teas (not excluding green tea importantly), vegetables (freshly cut and packed) and fruits. Moving further to the right from inside, there is a separate section that sells fresh meat (minced or sliced or whole as required), eggs and freshly baked loafs. And then moving to the left, there are a lot of stacks containing imported olive oil (the varieties are so many that you would care to take some guidance of some experienced gourmet guru to take your pick!) And there are those pasta varieties…..Spaghetti, Capellini, Vermicelli, Bucatini, Lasagna, Canelloni, Fuscilli, Manicotti, Penne, Penne Rigate and Rigatoni, which are available in some of the best imported brands.

First floor:
And even before you can finish gazing at those wonderfully organized rows of fresh mint lozenges, the floor above seems to pull you towards it with all force and I am sure, you won’t have the strength or the mind to beat it! Now the first floor is solely dedicated to fish, poultry, dairy and frozen food products. Besides, all fitness freaks can scour through the myriad energy drinks and weight balancing foods to go for the best one! Also people interested in buying good sturdy containers, fridge bottles and lovely tea sets and coffee mugs with amazing floral prints can check out here. Considering I have had many and have broken many (blame it on my small hands though hubby calls them careless!), that I am not buying any more as I just have too many for the present! Also, there are ample varieties of frozen foods and dairy products which keep you riveted to this section for a longer while. Name the type of cheese you want to have…..Cheddar, Parmesan, Feta, Ricotta…..they just have it all! And here, there is one exclusive section in the left most corner for fish and sea food. A very clean section and very well attended too!

Second floor:
And before I proceed to the third storey, all animal lovers, especially dog lovers would love to spend a longer time here as there are amazing varieties of animal food and I am sure, you would take your own sweet time to scour through. So now coming to the third floor, it is every husband’s nightmare room as this is one section that is going to keep the wives glued to shopping! Cosmetics, toiletries, kitchen ware, crockery sets and all varieties of glassware are available here. And not forgetting to mention, some electronic items such as ovens, egg beaters, hair dryers and coffee makers are also available. And for women who are obsessed with therapeutic massage oils, this is the place to shop for!

Snack a little!
So after spending a great deal of time in some useful shopping, an appetizing snack is definitely on cards and there, the restaurant beckons you from the right! Aah! Finally you can look away from your shopping bags and indulge in some sinfully delicious choco pastries and momos (of course, there are many other inviting options on the menu). As one sits on a table by the window side to sip on from a hot frothy cappuccino or even a soothing freshly made lemonade, the outside view appears too crowded and cacophonic and it just feels good and right to be on the other side of the glass even if it is for just some while.

The Happy ending or should I say, must be!
And now, I would leave the rest of the story to my readers because the billing section is where you find those happy wives looking fondly at their shopping bags and equally unhappy men who are staring at the billing screen and now, there is always a deterrent to any happy ending, isn't it? This is what can dent the so far, so good mood to an extent but you see, it is not the store that is costly but because the number of items you would end up buying from here is always more than the number of items in your list and just that, it is never that bad to shop more than expected in a long while. Why not, after all retail therapy works!

So, Happy Shopping my girls!

Cheers & God bless…!!

P.S: Dorabjee wines is right next to the store. So you may want to check that out too!

Tips for elocution & speech making for students~ Public speaking tips

When God made us, he put talents in everyone alike. But then why is that only some people excel in sports, some in music, some in dance, and some in academics, some in art and some in oratory? Well, something to ponder about, isn’t it? I guess, the way of unearthing talents is different for each. And to some extent, destiny too plays a critical role on how each personality shapes into. But then public speaking is one of the many talents which is hidden in each but surfaces only in few. So coming to the crux of this post, I have a few tips on improvising oratory skills. Most of my tips are from my own experience and also from a good deal of observation around. But before, I share with my readers about the magic tips, I would first like to share, how the idea of writing about this topic got into my mind…..

Somewhere back in ’95, when I was in 6^th grade, I was given my first chance in oratory. It was an elocution competition where young students had to speak on road safety, considering the fact that it was 31^st August, Road Safety day. And my father had put my name for the competition. And he also prepared me well with the speech. All I had to do back then was to go and speak out what I had memorized by heart. And so, when we reached the venue, I looked around only to find many other contestants and surprisingly all of them elder to me. Some were fumbling through their notes and some were murmuring with their eyes closed. I could see a girl mouthing short prayers softly after revising each Para of her speech and there was this spectacled boy who was bubbling with so much of enthusiasm that his body language spoke louder than his tongue. A half an hour later, the competition commenced with the introduction of the jury and boy, I was surprised to hear my name being called out as the very first contestant! Later, I realized that the contestants had been queued according to their age and I happened to be the youngest and the first one too. The time limit was 3 minutes. I looked at my father and he gave a slight nod that meant 'all the best'. And then I started. At 2 and a half minutes there was a warning bell that there were 30 more seconds to go. And then the next one came 15 seconds before the time limit got over. Somehow, I managed to start well and end well, not knowing what the elocution thing was all about. To be frank, it appeared all mechanical to me. Whatever I did that day was mug up the speech, go on the stage and blurt it out! But then the only good thing of all I did was, that I was not scared of stage unlike the many I met that day. But at the same time, my speech had not kindled the slightest interest in any of the audience. If there were one thing, anything to be appreciated about what I spoke then it was the flow and the content of the speech (and for that, I owed those credits to my father). There was no hitch and there was no fumbling. My father told me frankly that I resembled more of a news reader. But I knew what he meant. And I myself knew, I was not up to the mark and that the audience had somewhere failed to understand what I said. Something was missing. And I realized more about the missing ingredients in my speech when I sat down to watch the other contestants in action. Yes, that experience was not only my first experience in public speaking but also my first lesson on how to speak. It was not just about the speech, but it was everything that came along with it, the content of the speech, the tone of the voice, the body language, the facial expressions, the eye movements and most important, the knack of making the audience understand what the speech is all about. Although, I got a consolation price for my speech, I figured out, that there was a lot, a real lot to be improved at my end. With years, such participations helped me get better and better with speaking on stage and that potential also helped me host events and give speeches in functions and events in school and college days. I may not be the best when it comes to public speaking, but I definitely have the experience to share some ready tips with my readers.

Here let me share a few tips for students who might be interested in public speaking/elocution/debate/extempore etc…..And yes, these tips I have gathered from my own experience and also a great deal of observation.

Choose the topic. 
When a list of topics is given, do not select it or reject it on impulse. Take your time. Scour through the list and I would suggest, go through the topics as many times as possible. After this exercise, you may feel comfortable with one or two. The reason, why you must go through the topics carefully is, some topics may appear drab but when prepared may become very interesting and similarly, some may appeal to you at the first sight, but may not give that effect after speech preparation. And in case, you are participating in a debate, analyze the pros and cons of your topic thoroughly. Make sure which side you want to advocate for, before making your pick final. However, in a extempore, where topics are given on the spot, you need additional preparation before hand. As you will be given your topic a few minutes before the competition, you better be well versed with topics involving current affairs and general knowledge. If an abstract topic is given, you should rather feel lucky as it puts your creativity in action and is a check on how well you can speak on a random subject. For that, you must make language your friend, by striking a good relationship with the vocab part.

Fetch the right content for your topic.
For debates and elocution, once you have selected the topic, the next stage is preparing the content. For that, first you need to search and gather the relevant content and assimilate it. During my school days, there was no Internet and even if it were there, I did not have access to it. So, I relied more on books, magazines, Manorama editions and viewpoints of elders. But the current generation is lucky enough to have an ever helping companion – Google which gives you loads and tonnes of information. So now that you have the content in a raw form, all you have to do is prepare the content as per your choice. Keep in mind, when there is too much of information, you might lose your focus and end up putting too much of information (some of which might turn out to be irrelevant) in your speech. So make sure to understand your pick well when gathering the content.

Preparing the content for your topic.
The next item in to-do list is to group and prepare the content. Google offers you a lot of information. So do the books. But then, you need to prepare your speech according to the audience. For instance, if you are a student, your audience will like the content more simple and lucid. And when we talk about content, it must be informative, emphasizing, convincing and yet simple. If your content is highly informative from the statistical perspective and is delivered in a high vocab language, you sure will disappoint your audience. After all, what you speak has to be understood too. Isn’t it?  So keep the content as simple and lucid as possible.  For every speech you make, there will be three parts:

• Introduction: This is where you introduce your audience to the topic. And mind well, the welcoming part should be flawless. Introduction defines the way your speech will end as. So it is important that the beginning is always the best. One can include relevant quotes, a short story or a candid description of some events (relevant to the topic) to rouse the interest in the audience in order to keep them hooked to your speech.
• Core content: Coming to the middle part, core content forms the most crucial part of your speech. Rather it is the heart of your speech which will make your audience understand what exactly your speech is all about. The numbers, stats, facts, figures, pros/cons are always included in this core content.
• Conclusion: When the beginning is destined to be flawless, and your core content is all perfect, all will end well only when your conclusion takes the cake away. Now, when you conclude your speech, it should always spin the audience gaping for an answer. Make sure you do not make any heated/irrational/biased/unsolicited statements. Conclusion is what you are merely suggesting to your audience. Nothing more, Nothing less. Even if it is a debate, do not let your personal opinions/emotions conflict with the motive of your speech. As in debates, you are supposed to take sides, just do it in a way, that the verdict is left to the audience/jury. You may also like to add some punch lines/quotes and funny sayings as you end your speech.

Please remember: Elocution, debates and any speech to be delivered in public always has a time limit. So it is important to filter your content and deliver more information in the given duration of time in the right language.

Edit and Proof read your speech.
Now, before any exam we all revise our lessons Don’t we? Why? So that if there are any mistakes, any flaws in our preparation, we utilize the revision time window to rectify them. Right? Similarly, when you prepare your speech, go through your content again and again at least 10 times before you make it final. Your speech must be devoid of grammatical and contextual errors. Take care of the commas, semicolon, full stops and double quotes. Punctuations are crucial and a wrong usage can damage your speech. Hence, before moving on to the presentation part, make sure your speech is flawless content wise and context wise. So, after a complete and a final proof read, the next step is, how it must be delivered.

Practice to Perfection.
Practice makes a man perfect. And it holds true for everything, including public speaking. So, before delivering a public speech, it is important that you practice your speech. And let me point out why. When you take over a stage, not only does the stage belong to you for that particular time limit, but so does the jury and the audience. Each act of yours: your expressions, your body language, your tone, your eyeball movements and your gait, everything will add up to your speech and to deliver perfect, you need to practice, practice hard. And I shall tell you why. Even if your content is impeccable but your presentation skills are poor, the end result will be a total washout. After all, the way you deliver the speech decides how the audience will react. For elocution and debates, understand your content, the motive of your speech and the way you want the audience to interpret your speech. Take an hour from your day’s schedule and stand in front of a mirror. Try out all the styles you know and there definitely will be one which makes you feel not only comfortable but also makes you feel yourself real, sans pretense. And one more thing, you must know your speech by heart, by which I don’t exactly mean, ‘you must cram!’. If you understand the context of your speech, you already have it imprinted in your mind!

Remember before your final deliverance.
Now that your speech is ready to be delivered, remember one important tip: Don’t ever over express. Over doing anything in a presentation can kill the charm. Be yourself. Be natural and you will see the results for yourself. Keep your voice normal. Emphasize only where the punch is needed. High decibel levels in debates and public speaking can be annoying, considering the fact that you will be given a mic. So keep in mind that your speech must not only be heard but also comprehended. And, that is the purpose, right? And the most important thing to do before speech, take out 15 minutes for yourself and only for yourself. Stop practicing. Only take deep breaths. Breathe slowly. It is a mild exercise that will help in calming down your mind and soothing your nerves. Drink a glass of water and make a small prayer (if you are a believer). And then, you are sure to reap the benefits of your hard work.

Public speaking aint everyone’s cup of tea. Agreed! But it does play a big role in everyone’s life at some time or the other, right from school days, then during college days and then even in work life. After all, what is public speaking. Facing a crowd you do not know much and trying to place a point, a view, an opinion. And for people who are so fearful of stage, I only got to say, ‘People! You must belong to the bravest of the brave to walk on a stage and face a crowd that is not entirely within your control and there, make a point’. And if at all, by any chance you seem to forget in the middle of your speech, no worries! Complete it! It is not the end of the world yet. After all, it is not about winning or losing. It is about the satisfaction one gets at the end of the day, after making the speech. A contentment that the audience has understood, which sure is acknowledged by a round of applause. Try these tips out and am sure, you will taste success. And that.....is a scout’s honor!

Compatibility in relationships – What is your take? ~ Relationships

A few days back, when I was talking to my college mate, also a good friend of mine (who was also my perpetual ‘partner in crime’ for many notorious activities of our hostel life), I was as usual nagging her with questions like ‘When are you getting married?’ and ‘Have you at least given your parents the permission to search a worthwhile groom for you?’ etc……. well, these questions from an elder would have brought out the vamp in her. And this is where friends make a difference. When parents or relatives badger with such questions, it is natural to get annoyed. One would even feel that the world around you doesn’t have a job in hand except for aligning stars and direction of the wind, to make ‘things’ happen! But since the same question was coming from a close friend (me - a friend who has already gone through ‘it’), my dear friend calmly chose to explain her views on what kind of partner she would prefer. And she made it very clear, that her life partner, her better half, her soul mate must be someone whose nature is compatible with hers. A very simple and genuine answer. After all, who does not want a compatible partner? And yes, I wish the best for my friend that she meets the perfect (or nearly perfect) life partner very soon.

But then that word ‘compatible’ was making rounds in my head for a long time. In fact, every second person of a marriageable age uses this word as if it were some slang like WTF (which is used umpteen times for nonsensical reasons)! At times I wonder, if people even sit back and think, what this word really means to them? And mind if I ask you readers, what does this word mean to you? Or, how do you know if you are compatible with someone? How do you decide, if the person of your choice is your love or is the one you would spend the rest of your life with? In case of arranged marriages, compatibility is induced as the matches are made by the elders after a lot of choice filtering, planning, contemplation and speculation. And in most cases (not all, would I say), the union continues on a good note as long as the couple have understood the meaning of this word and suited it to their lives in the best way possible! In case of love marriages (again not in all, but in a few), the couple having known each other for a while, before entering marital bliss, end up misunderstanding compatibility by treating each other as good as - ‘ghar ka murgi, dal barabar!’

Prior to marriage, a couple is entitled to enjoy a courtship period. The importance of this period lies in how much the privilege to know each other better, to know each other’s likes, dislikes, passion and interests, is made use of. But most important of all, this is also a period when the two ‘to be made for each other’, must get to know the families they will be a part of, in near future. So, why is it important to know the families as well (if you ask me this is the most important criteria for compatibility, although it is never given due importance in most relationships)? Here, I would like to quote the cautious words of wisdom, cited by a wise man a couple of years back -

‘Marriage is not just about the union of two souls, it is the union of two happy families, union of their blessings, union of their hopes and union of their trust and expectations. Remember, it was never about you ‘in singular’. It is always about you’ in plural’. After marriage, you belong to not one, but two families. The union of the souls is held by a thin yet strong thread of mutual love, trust and respect that goes way beyond mortal pleasures and never needs to be expressed. Its inherent presence helps the couple comprehend compatibility, compatibility between them and between the families they are now a part of!’

At that time, the self may not have comprehended these words deeply. Yet, the words were etched in the back of the mind. And with time, the self understood every word spoken and its significance. Till then, the meaning of compatibility was just superficial. It just meant – ‘thinking on similar lines!’. But the wise man’s words made the self see beyond the outward meaning of it! In simple words, no two souls can ever be ‘compatible’, if it just meant being ‘like-minded’, ‘well-matched’ or simply ‘two people having similar temperament’. Every individual is born unique. He/she has his/her own thought process, an individual perspective of viewing the environment around. So how can one define compatibility on such shallow grounds? They also say, opposites attract! And they are so much attracted that they feel, they complement each other! I beg to differ here! Opposites attract each other until they imbibe certain traits from each other to eventually gain same polarity! And that is when they start repelling. And the theory of human nature cannot be based on theory of magnetism!

So folks, what does ‘compatible’ mean to you? When a person claims his/her love for you, how much can he/she assure himself/herself of the fact that he/she could accept you for whatever you were, are or will be and likewise too? (Remember this applies to you as well!) How far and how much can you live up with undesirable aspects of your partner, as seen by you, as much as your partner accepts your flaws with grace? (Now, don’t tell me, you are flawless!). Once the answer is found, the meaning of compatibility becomes clear too! And when the fog of misinterpretation hounding this compatibility clears, you realize, it actually comes with its own definition which is unique for every person.

As I end this post, this is the thought that comes to mind at the moment:
‘.....Life offers you myriad choices that come with their share of risks. All you need to decide, is which choices are worth making and which risks are worth taking.....!'

P.S: This post is solely my view point on compatibility in relationships.

Confessions of a shopaholic : Pune Diaries

I was not a shopaholic before I came to Pune. May be, my salary as a CAT instructor, about 4 years back, just allowed me to pay my house rent, plan my trips home twice a month and eat twice a day at a mess, leaving me with not much choice, but to lead a frugal life. I used to visit malls even then, stare at branded stuff with wide eyes, check out the prices and then leave the place with a heavy heart and a wallet which chose to remain light always! Ever since I started earning, I could not bring myself to buy a stuff which I could not afford with my hard earned money. Thankfully, until today I don’t have a credit card, coz I don believe in that system at all, which my dad feels is one good trait I have inherited from him! And I absolutely agree to that! However, I did decide I would shop a lot, once I get a better job. The pleasure of joining IT industry was partly because of that too, to buy myself the stuff, I had refrained from buying because of my meager 4 digit salary per month, then!

And when I joined CTS, there was a limitless joy in replenishing my wardrobe and my personal items. In 3 months, my wardrobe, my shoe rack, my book shelf and personal rack containing other paraphernalia increased almost 10 times their size! Well, when I watched Confessions of a shopaholic recently, I was not surprised, to the extent I related to Rebecca Bloomwood (the protagonist of the movie), though I was not an extreme case like her either! But somehow, the shopping habit clung to me like a betal on my back and I indulged in shopping almost every weekend. And when you have a good company who is as crazy as you about shopping, nothing like it! I might have spent a great deal of my salary on books, clothes, handbags, shoes, cosmetics, accessories and so on, much to the chagrin of my parents and disbelief of my husband, who was then my fiancée! Not that they were surprised or perplexed at my shopping spree, but they were appalled by the size of my cupboard which looked as though it was going to burst one day! My cosmetic collection was much enviable then, with every brand taking its due credit on the day it was used. But the most interesting of all was my mammoth shoe collection, which actually surprised me too! Only when I started counting them, I had doubts if I was suffering from shopaholism. I would refrain from giving a number here! My father was sure, I had shoplifted and my mom mocked at me saying, I could possibly run a shop with that collection! Karthik made it clear that those shoes were not entering his home, (our home) after marriage! I have not yet given them away, and so found a suitable shelter for them, Bharuch – where I had packed all those shoes in a huge bag and carried it home!

Now past an year and more after marriage, I am a rehabilitated shopaholic. I can advise people on how to shop frugally, but am not claiming that I have been cured permanently as currently am at a stage, where shopping is of little use to me  So till then, the Devil has all the privilege to preach the Bible!

Freedom and fear, should it be tested and if yes, how much? ~ A Perspective of life

What makes me write today? I don’t know. But since such positive urges come rare to me, I never question the intent. Perhaps, when my mind is clogged with a plethora of thoughts and they just need some wings to fly away, my indolent fingers spring into action to release them so that my mind can spare some more bytes in my RAM for more junk to fill in ;)

Jokes apart, that’s not the reason why I feel like writing today. A couple of days back, a fleeting thought crossed my mind and I put it as my status message on FB. It read – ‘People who suddenly enter the highs of life, often forget their self, until one day, when there is no deeper place to drown in, they realize they have hit rock bottom..... and all of a sudden, they search for that light at the end of the tunnel, which now appears nothing more than a mirage.....just a passing thought!’. There were a bazillion reasons for why this thought made its way into my mind, but there was one significant reason for it, which I would call – abusing freedom and abandoning fear to wrong. Food for this thought came as a result of reading one old edition of Reader’s digest. (I love reading this magazine no matter how old it is and no matter how many times I have read it, line by line and between the lines!). And there was this article about a 14 year old girl who had everything going good for her, right from getting straight A’s in academics to getting accolades in all extracurricular activities, until the day she got introduced to a world filled with smoke, drugs and cacophony. However, her story ended on a good note, with her coming out of her mess, after a tirade with herself, fighting the self, fighting the society and fighting with all her spirit against the demonic urges which only tried to pull her back into the seemingly high world, in spite of which, she did manage to make a surprise comeback and is probably some practicing lawyer today. I am not sharing this story indicating what drug abuse or smoking pot could do to a person. We all know that! But to get into a bad company or probably to indulge in ecstatic highs of life does not need an age factor! What happened to this 14 year old, decades back could still happen to a 40 year old today! My point here is, why do people do it or say, succumb to pleasures which are more of a pain in the real world? Questions like ‘Do we, as adults, understand our limits, our weakness?’ or ‘Do we at least try to comprehend the repercussions of abusing our freedom for our own pleasure (which is more often a mirage), hurting many people en route?’ are definitely worth pondering…!!

These questions need some more soul searching to get the answers straight and right! There are N reasons for a person to drift away from a banal yet normal life to a seemingly attractive hippie life, to get away from worries and heartaches, to escape the madness of work and perhaps to free oneself from battling a few biting family issues! All these reasons often point to one stark reality – failure to detect the thin line of difference between what is genuine and fake. And this often happens when people trust their surroundings and the conditions factoring them, completely without any inhibitions and fear. I would term this kind of trust as incredibly dim-witted, nothing more nothing less! I was taught when young, ‘It is good to be fearless, but it is insanely stupid to be so, when you are on the wrong side of the road, knowingly or unknowingly’. People often do not understand the importance of fear and freedom by birth, until the day, their world comes crumbling down and they ponder, whatever happened. Any attempt to retrospect? Well the word, its meaning is ignored post the consequences of every problem, as much time is spent in fretting and ranting about the events bygone, trying to fix the cracks in a relationship which only get wider and wider with time and then finally escaping the trauma by ignoring the root cause. Then the cycle repeats, viciously drawing the person deeper and deeper into an abyss where the ability to think sane gets distorted and the energy to sustain the ramifications diminishes, leaving behind only pain, more pain and more…..

It is difficult for such a person, undergoing such trying times to see through people and circumstances hounding him or her. The much awaited self awakening can only happen, if the person attempts for once, to sees through himself/herself and then try to detect the flaws! For that he needs to believe that something definitely is not aright with him. Often self questioning is the best way to bring in that belief and it is the only mirror in the world that can give the person the right picture, no matter how deep the shit he has fallen in, is! Sounds blunt, but true…..

Abusing freedom and recklessly abandoning fear is a cataclysmic combination of hazards that can wreck a life in no time without warning. Conservativeness and limiting freedom in our society is often mistaken for a physical fence, which in the real context is an imaginary boundary that prevents self from faltering. Unfortunately, many people erase the boundaries or jump over it, only to realize later in life, there is never going to be a turning back, time will never rewind and life does not give everyone a second chance to redeem self and be good again! After all, every person is responsible alone for his decisions and actions and he alone will endure the consequences of his actions! Sad, but true!

Human behavior, complex relationships ~ Relationships

Please note: The post below is an intended study on human behavior. Just a try after a lot of observation around. Comments are welcome 


Not without a reason, there goes a saying – ignorance is bliss. Well, here I would like to modify the statement - sometimes it is and sometimes, it is best to feign ignorance. When you come of age, you might have actually met a million people out there, and would be still meeting many more. That crowd you know contains all those people: ones you love, ones who make you feel loved and adored, ones who annoy you, ones who you are jealous of and ones who swell green with envy at the very sight of you, ones who make a real impression on you and some who disappear as snow flakes that brush off your fur coat and melt into the ground with a never to be seen message. But all of them make you learn lessons of life: History always repeats itself, no matter what! What is even more common, although perceived often with a bolt from the blue, are the rogue waves adhering to fatal laws of attraction. Most sixth sensed creatures of this world gets nudged down by the nubile waves of adolescence that comes with its surprise attacks of puppy love (or attraction?), lust and attention seeking syndrome. And the indulgence further sinks deep into a phase, the youth, making one feel more high, in his world, matured? Well, here the ignorance continues to play bliss as long as the self is misguided, misguided from the fact that there are more Chinese boxes waiting to be opened which will open further surprises, pleasant or otherwise, left to destiny. And then as the self grows, it feels poignant when it comes to love, relationship and security. After all this is where a human marks himself different from the five sensed animals. The human always yearns for security. He wants to socialize and he never wants to be alone. And that is when the down slide (or landslide perhaps?) starts. Not sure when the derailment happens, but when it does, the human does wonder, whatever happened? Probably, he did not see it coming. No, he did not, rather saw, but did not want to take measures to stop, as the precaution or should I say medicine was too bitter to be ingested? Not quite. Humans are humans. He thinks he can overcome hurdles in life, with that thing called love. And the catch lies there. That is where he is mistaken for life! Love? What is love? He knows love, but he does not understand it. It is just like, you know who Adolf Hiltler was, but you don’t know him! And then he further thinks love is security, but it is not. A wise man once said, “Love is something you let go off and it comes back to you and resides with you as long as your heart does not build fences and locks.” And the normal human instinct ignores the wise words and heads straight towards the impending doom only to let the history repeat itself over and over again. No wonder, human make is too complex to comprehend. But then if one cannot unravel the mystique make of a human mind, it is best to not test its inscrutability and accept it as it is.

Relationships and the current generation

Am not sure what prompted me to write about this but still just felt like sharing some thougts that fleeted across my mind.
Here it goes -
Life today has become quite fast and so has the generation. Relationships could be described as some commercial commodities which can just be discarded for the new/updated/whatsoever. Unlikely, the world has not changed much in terms of reality.

What has changed is the perception of the current generation towards relationships, marriages and comittments. Words like adjustments, compromises, give and take do not sound realistic today. One good reason as to why even the minor sacrifices seem herculean to this generation is becoz it has always and only seen the brighter side of life. Considering the older times, the people belonging to the yester years have definitely gone through quite rough patches in their times. Yet, tolerating each other, rejoicing together during the ups of life, supporting each other through the downs in life, compromising for each other forgetting own’s discomfort and adjusting to each other’s ways of life had been their strategy to maintain the healthy equilibrium of marriage. Kudos to their patience and tolerance, that the generation today is able to feed on the greener pastures.

All this made me question the very essence of marriage to which a wise man replied serenly:  “Marriage is a beautifully decorated empty pot ready to get filed with love, compassion, affection, trust, and humility. It is not just a blissful union of two souls, but a happy alliance of two families. When two people enter this wonderful unification, the bride not only accepts the groom as her husband, but also his family as her family. The same applies to the groom as well”.

So the joint venture includes equal share in joy and pain. It is all about complementing each other in all times to come.
But today, it seems the definition, even though remaining the same, has become hypothetical. Many a times, misconceptions, misunderstanding, miscommunications and mistrust become the bulwark of a failing marriage. But are these reasons enough to snap ties? Trust and freedom are pillars for any relation to blossom. After marriage, what gets to be new is increase in trust and quarantine the freedom when necessary.

It is pretty natural for two different people tied in a divine relation called the marriage, to come up with different expectations and a different spectrum of thoughts. Hence it is essential for both to understand that a bridge of mutual respect requires to maintained strong through out. It always takes two to tango (but here in the positive sense).

The good thing about the current generation is that they have a choice in selecting the partner they want. The sad part is that their level of tolerance has hit rock bottom. In no time, will the days approach when nothing actually would seem to be wrong for the generations to come. This is some area where this current generation needs to retrospect and analyze if the direction it has taken for future is the right one or not.Period!

Teaching tips and views ~ Classroom teaching

Teaching.....a profession that deals with successful knowledge transition from a teacher to a student....well, that's how we all know it, isn't it? Teaching has always been a noble profession for years and today it is a profession tinged with aristocracy. And it is transforming itself absolutely into a business oriented profession steadily.

If we take a ride into the past, teaching was a knowledge sharing procedure which commenced with Gurukuls, where the transition was purely oral and practice related and where the students were a limited crowd. The Gurus then, taught Vedas and much more, orally. Then came the system of taking and making notes. To preserve the teachings, some disciples who later became Gurus transformed this procedure into teaching and preserving the knowledge, by cataloging them as pamphlets. With time, as the world progressed, so did it shrink. Today, everything remains the same in the superficial sense. However, in retrospect things have changed, rather have changed a lot.

Those days in school, we used to take down notes during lectures. There was not that much of force to study for marks, but for knowledge. Also teachers taught us, the aim of studying is to learn correctly and retain knowledge to apply it wherever required. However, in higher classes, that knowledge as a term was reduced to a misnomer. Today students no longer study for knowledge, but for marks that could later get them into a good college and later pave their way to a lucrative career or a post graduation degree abroad. Amidst all this, I wonder whatever happened to teaching, to be more precise, classroom teaching? Adding to that, Internet has slowly started taking over the student psychology and is a rising threat to a class room teacher. In years to come, I don’t think there will be any concept of class rooms, let alone the concept of changing curriculum prevail.....

So why is class room teaching important? What is the role of a teacher in the changing curriculum? Where does the actual problem lie? To start with, there is a loophole our education system which is not visible in the present, let alone in future. I would like to voice my opinions on the same.

• First, the concept of studying for marks should be replaced with the concept of earning by earning. More importance must be given to the concept of "Thirst for knowledge" than "Greed for marks"
• Classrooms need to be more interactive involving every student, irrespective of where he/she sits. It is not important to know whether a student has done his homework or not. In this world of CUT /COPY/PASTE, completing homework is not a difficult task. It is rather important for the teacher to understand whether the knowledge transition from the teacher’s head to the student’s head has been successful or not. To know better, there need to be sudden revision tests (both written and oral) inside the classroom itself to check the pro activeness of every student.
• The teacher must be capable of accepting all students in the same stride. It is very important to remember, no child is weak and no child is more intelligent than the other. Remember, every child is unique and covets a hidden talent. The challenge for a teacher is NOT in making a bright student getting a higher rank but in how to get the best out of a not-so-bright student.
• To avoid students getting attracted to internet, students must be involved more in small time academic projects that demand team work. It is important for every student to realize that only team work can get the best out of him/her, no matter what! Internet as a ruling alternative to teaching, is an undisputed competition of knowledge transitioning, but it deprives the child of his/her friends and later can make him quite insensitive to the world around and also numb to difference of opinions that would arise eventually. It is definitely not a healthy growth for a child. The teacher in the classroom can encourage a group of students to search a topic (each student one topic) on internet and can ask them to share their research and views in the classroom. This can be done on a regular basis (once a week usually on Fridays)
• Innovation is a very important concept in today’s world and this alone can stop the death of classroom teaching and rising unpopularity of a class teacher. Innovation means what? Novelty, being indigenous, originality! Yes! The fire of novelty should burn within every child. This is the sole responsibility of a teacher to ignite that spark because a teacher alone can do it!
• Usually a classroom teaching goes on for an hour, of which I would suggest the last 15 mins must be kept aside for conducting a quiz to check the alertness of every student. It is very natural for a student to get bored after 30 mins. So this must be an experience, rather a rewarding experience for him/her with some extra gift or something. The interest must be inculcated in them. And quizes should be periodically awarded with appreciation at the right instant which can do wonders by turning around a dull brain into an amazingly intelligent one!
• And it is the duty of a class teacher to make sure that every student realizes that no subject is after all hard and every subject is damm interesting. A student must feel attracted to the subject and that is possible only if the teacher delivers the lecture in a lucid manner, illustrating as many examples as possible. Teaching should be such that the student need not open his book at home only to study out of compulsion! Rather a student must study out of impulsion. Isn't it?
• The most important thumb rule for a classroom teacher is "Drive the knowledge into the student by the force of curiosity and not by the force of marks". Make him ask you questions. The more a student questions, the more the teacher learns and more is the teacher successful in building the student's quest for knowledge. And the more a teacher works hard towards quenching the student’s thirst for knowledge, the more intriguing the subject becomes, thereby adding to the satisfaction of the teacher and the student.

Teaching, especially classroom teaching is a novelty in itself. So to strive towards a better classroom with changing curriculum with a vibrant student crowd, there needs to be a change, a drastic change for the better, so that students emerge as talents waiting to bloom! And when one talks about competition, it is imperative, thought it should not turn a student into a rat! Isn't it? Happy teaching...!!