I am a SAHM, by choice!

I have a complicated relationship with social networking. Especially now  that I am not really ‘working’ working. (Does being a home maker qualify as ‘working’ ;)). Blogs and books keep me good company most of the days (as am enjoying an uncertainly brief transit period) For me, when I am not blogging, reading is curative as it saves me from unsuccessfully dodging questions like, “Why aren’t you in a job, yet?” or “Don’t you feel bored at home?”, “You know, you should start working by now!” and all that! It is only now I realized on a full scale why, a ‘Stay At Home Mom’(SAHM) is so underrated! And not the quintessential homemaker I speak of here, but a woman who quit her career to be a SAHM by choice! Clearly, I am not adept in answering out-of-the-blue questions from acquaintances (even parents sometimes) regarding my career choices and it takes me a lot of will to refrain from riposting acerbically! But a lot of such questions got me thinking, why in the Lord’s name is a SAHM so looked down upon? Why such condescending questions/looks? 

While I worked with the IT sector before marriage, I had seen many kinds of married couples. Couples who worked and complimented each other beautifully, some who planned their families early as the mother took the necessary sabbatical before rejoining the office, some who planned families and moved to different time zones leaving behind the children in the care of grandparents, some who took their children along to different countries for onsite assignments, and then the few who felt that babies could wait et al. Of course, nothing is more convenient and luxurious for a working couple, if both are placed together and, with the child anywhere in the world! And, there are the others for whom certain sacrifices, compromises and uncomfortable arrangements (like staying away from the spouse for a long time or perhaps having a caretaker in a different country to take care of the child and so on and so forth) are probable options. I was not married then. So, I never really judged anything, also considering my uneasiness over the topic of marriage in those years. Later, the stars aligned in a particular way and I met my match in an army officer 7 years back. (How I met him would serve as a hot post later!) And today, I am a proud army wife and a SAHM now, by choice (considering the nomadic life I live!)

Looking back from where I started this post, I gather I have strayed a bit. Well, a SAHM is not as bad as it sounds! Having a baby and staying back to look after the baby is not as dreadful as those funnily scary doodles appear to be. Of course, the milk stained bras, the baby poop stained paijamas, the sore nipples, aching shoulders and back, sleep deprivation, hunger pangs at ungodly hours while nursing the baby are a part and parcel of motherhood. And definitely, that is not going to go on forever! And so, some mothers delegate the tasks, some stay at home by compulsion and some by choice like me. However it is only after I choose to be a SAHM, I realized that there is more to raising a child than just bringing him/her into the world. Raising a child takes a lot of hard work, certain sacrifices and a lot of cautious decisions right from the beginning. Not to mention, there are intermittent moments of confusion felt almost by every SAHM when she yearns to work again as she sees the world around, move past her. I have had those moments too. Worse, I was served the best job opportunities in Pune immediately after I had my son, and yet could not pursue them because my son was just 6 months old. A part of me was tempted to ask my mother to come over and stay and look after my son. However, a major part of me held me back from asking her. Today, I can say with full conviction that I took the right decision as I see my son evolving in an independent way.

The choice of having been a SAHM for the first three years post my delivery helped me understand the importance of listening, the need to be patient and the right to remain silent when the whole world questions your decisions. Also, unlike what people told me that ‘the child will become too clingy if you stay with the child too much’ theory turned out to be false, at least in my case. As on today, my son is NOT a bit insecure or cranky if I am not around for a few hours (whenever I have some unavoidable social engagements). Sometimes, he even advises me to ride/drive safe (a caution that I load the hubby with!). And, he is anything but clingy. Over the past three years, we have developed an understanding where I don’t need to explain each and everything to him or baby talk him into anything (something that I have never done!). As a SAHM, I have been at his side practically for the most part, except in the small mini breaks I got when parents/in-laws were visiting. The adjustments I made by not rushing into weight loss instantly, by not attending parties and socials, by not watching my favourite TV shows, by not sleeping whenever I felt like, by not reading when the itch to read was too deep to scratch and most importantly, by not giving in to the urge to work leaving my son in the care of a caretaker/parents and in-laws, have paid off immensely when I see my son complaining less and enjoying life as it comes. Not that, he is impeccably behaved as one can gather from my previous posts. I have my moments of altercation with him regarding his food and homework routine. But then, I also understand that it is just a phase. 

There is more to being an SAHM than just the cuddling, cleaning, feeding, outing and talking part. When you, as a mother are around the child for the first two-three years at least, the results that follow are truly amazing. A baby is like a bud waiting to blossom. (S)He does not need just the physical nourishment but the emotional one too. The first two years of absolute presence of the mother in her baby’s life works wonders. And, picking up an alternative career or returning back to the same career is not an impossible task for most ladies. But at the end of the day, it all comes down to choices one makes, as a mother.

Being a SAHM may not have earned me money or brownie points professionally. But it has definitely earned me something priceless, my baby’s unconditional trust and faith in me. I would be lying if I say I never felt the urge to catch up in the professional arena when opportunities knocked at every given chance! But, I am surely not lying now when I say I have no regrets today. Also, who says I would be a SAHM forever! That said, I am proud of my decision of having been a SAHM for the past four years, not to mention, very much by choice!

P.S: I remember having asked my mother a month back; if she would have come and taken care of my son three years back (when he was barely 6 months old) so that I could pick up a full time job. Those days, she would visit me for long breaks but never encouraged me to work full time. This time, she replied, “Why not? I would have been the happiest granny in the whole wide world. You know how much I adore children!” However, she continued, “But you know Narayani, had I done that, I would have deprived you off those divine pleasures of watching those cherubic smiles, happy gurgles, those tiny hands and legs paddling in the air, those adorably cute wailing and most importantly, experiencing the most beautiful sensation when your baby sleeps on your bosom wrapped in the aura of love and a sense of security, that only a mother can give. These are one-time moments in life. Once gone, they are gone! And, I wanted you to enjoy all that. So, I never volunteered, you know!”

My mini human and I ~ From a Nomad's diary

There are countless instances I could cite about how my son steals my heart every day. He has clearly entered a phase where he has drawn a circle of impermeability around him and makes sure no one crosses over without him knowing about it. My mom says, that is how boys are. She grew with two brothers and a sister and knows the ways of boys and girls. As for me, I am a single child who at some point of time imagined (not exactly craved for) what if I had an elder brother. I never wanted to have a sister. I just might have wanted a brother had God asked me and that too an elder one who would take me for games and other extra curricular activities. Now I believe that somewhere, I had actually craved for a sibling. And then, God gave me a son. Ever since my son was born, he has treated me more like a sibling, a friend, a child, a pet and what not, and less as a mother. He tries to protect me if there is stray dog on the road and immediately asks me to pick up stones. Sometimes, he teaches me how to ride his bicycle.  And if I hold his hand while crossing the road, he gets angry and says, “Please don’t hold my hand. I am the one who will hold your hand. OK!”. Sometimes, he gets offended if I finish my meal before him and so, I have to take an extra helping of food to compete with him again. This is precisely what makes motherhood joyful and challenging at the same time.

Raising a son is no easy game. Boys are different from girls on many aspects. Boys are not meant to be obedient, albeit the exceptions. They are not meant to be told what to do and what not to. They follow by examples. For most of them, their fathers are their role models. They ape their fathers, word to word, inch to inch and drop to drop. At least, that is the case with my son. One day, he came over and saluted and casually mentioned to my husband, “Dad, When I grow up, I am going to be an army officer like you.”, to which my pleasantly surprised hubby quipped, “Don’t forget what you said. I will ask you to remember these lines, when you hit your teens!”. Even during lunch or dinners, he prefers to have exactly what hubby is having. And, I know now, why a father-son bond is special. It is as special as a mother-son bond. The difference is, a father son bond is all about the emotions that are never spoken, never expressed and never made obvious. The bond is as strong as a mountain, as soft as a caramel and yet is remains inconspicuous.

Coming back to our sibling rivalries, there are just too many I could share here. Like, once a week I am loudly reminded by my son that he is a big boy now and that, I cannot kiss him or cuddle him in public. When he rides his cycle, he prefers to take a fall than to let me hold his cycle from falling. He gets irritated if I feed him an extra spoonful while he gets engrossed in watching Tenali Raman or Akbar Birbal stories on the laptop. Yes, my mini human is growing up. Sometimes, when I feel lost or have a heap of undone tasks and do not know where to start or probably have a bad bad day, he walks up to me, sits on my lap, strokes my cheeks, hugs me and pats me and says, "mumma, you are my best friend, no?". And I pinch his cheeks and say, "I am always going to be your first best friend!".

When I look back at the events that unfolded post marriage, my tense pregnancy which had a lot of un-explainable issues, and my own battle with a neurological disorder about two years back, that almost killed me, and the point when my father in law was on a verge of collapse and seeing my husband struggling hard to get my FIL back to normal, it feels all three of us have come a long way. A long way indeed. And, there is still a long way to go. As for now, I love the present. Someday perhaps, I shall write a book on motherhood. Someday.

"Get me a real dinosaur!! NOW!!" ~ From a nomad's diary

My son asked for a real dinosaur ~ From a Nomad’s diary

Me to my son: Complete your homework!

A: Com---ppppp—leeeete what??

Me: Home work!! (Losing sanity)

A: ummm…..what will I get if I comppp--llle---teee….homework?? (sly smile)

Me: Whatever!! Just do it, man!!

A: mom, I am a boy!!

Me: Arrghgghhh……please………

A: Ok……

---------------------------------------------(After completing Homework)-----------------------------------------

Me (with a diary milk hidden in my hands): So, what do you want?? (almost expecting him to say chocolate)

A:  (after some thought): I want a real dog, a real monkey, a real peacock and a real dinosaur!! NOW!!

Me: (Digesting the face palm moment)

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

In my growing years, did I have weird imaginations? Did I have imaginary friends? Did I crave for company, owing to the fact that I am a single child? Was I a loner at some point of time in my childhood? Did I dream about fantasy worlds and spider-man? Well, suddenly many questions cross my mind after this incident happened between me and my son.

And so, this post, so that insanity returns, for good!!

Weird imaginations – Yes.

I do not know how many of us remember dreams. But I remember a few, because they were very vivid and very weird. In one of them I was a vigilante with a flying saucer who was on a mission to save the earth from a clownish demon!! The best part about the dream was, I was able to fly at will and was as agile and alert like Alice from Resident Evil Series!! It was only later, my mom had casually mentioned that I had kicked a few pillows here and there in sleep. But, that dream! Did it make me feel good, or what!!. I craved for something like that again and it never came until a few years back, when I again got an impressionable dream in which I was a wandering soul who could fly over the mountains and oceans. The beauty was breathtaking. But the dream was not entirely about the beauty of nature. In the dream, I also witnessed a lot of hopelessness and riots. Am not sure until date, what that dream meant or why I saw such a dream. Do dreams mean anything? The Internet has a bazillion articles asserting that they do. Anyways, I don’t remember most of my dreams and the few that I remember, I was always flying!! (Maybe I was a bird or something in my previous birth!!) 

Imaginary Friends and Fantasy world – Yes

How many of us admit to that? I had. In my school days, I had an imaginary friend from another planet (of course, you can imagine any freaking thing, if the reigns of your mind were to be let loose). It is not like, I talked to this friend. I never did. But, it was like my prized possession, a figment of my imagination that was safe with me and belonged to me alone. Maybe, I was never that open, a book!! In later years, I realized my imaginations may have manifested from my irrepressible craze for sci-fi books and movies. (I still love sci-fi). And, I hated He-Man and Bat Man those days and Spider Man was my eternal hero. However, now I don’t like Spider Man a bit and I adore Batman a lot (Christian Bale, you got me!!). Sometimes, I wonder if Alice in Wonderland was a story just made for me. That story has been following me ever since my failed interview at Tech Mahindra in 2006, when a snobbish interviewer had asked me, what would be Alice’s destiny had she not followed the rabbit!! That was the least of questions I would have expected in a technical round and at that precise moment, I could not even recollect any of the characters, tweedle dum, tweedle dee, the red queen or the mad hatter!! In later years, I somehow felt that, the story was a reflection of how my destiny was going to unfold. Maybe, I was never a realist!! Maybe, I am just an incurable optimist living in Alice’s world!!

Craving for company because I was a single child – No and then, Yes.

Every single person I know, has always advocated for two instead of one when it came to children. One is implicitly alone, stubborn and never cares to share stuff with anyone. As for two, they say, there is company. Now, I concur with the part that, there is company. But I do not agree at all with the statement that a single child is ‘alone, stubborn and does not learn the art of sharing’. Well, if you must understand my rage, you must know that I am a single child who arrived biologically late into my parents’ world after 10 odd years. And, my parents never let me feel the need for a sibling as they managed the art of parenting with finesse, considering I was a difficult child. But then, I would go on to agree with the question only to the point until my school and college days existed. It was post marriage and post having a baby, I started thinking differently. Maybe, when I look at my hyper active son who wants to pet every wild animal on earth, I feel, maybe the world is right this one time. But then, I am not sure. (Am not discussing more of this here).

Was I a loner, at some time in my childhood?

Well, the answer is not that easy. I wish I could answer this. I can say that there have been times in my childhood when I have felt strong about being betrayed or being hurt. I had remained a loner for a while and somehow, I never let those people know how hurt I was. As my father used to tell me in my school days, “Not a big deal!! These issues will be not be even worth remembering when life takes you to big places”. Those were the times, I felt even more lonely because I felt not being understood enough. However with time, the hurt feelings went away and my father was right. And over a period of time, I have built a chain of restraint around me unconsciously, that has always held me back when the urge to socialize was high. And, that chain has definitely saved me more often, leaving aside the few trivial ones with the regret of having not’s.

But then, today I am content and happy. Because, the insanity that comes from believing in the fantasy world, the tooth fairies, the sand man, Jack Frost and what not, is back because of this incident!! When my son asked for a real dino yesterday, I could not tell him how much I would have wanted to own one myself!! (Of course, I could not put this on FB). Well, when he grows up and reads this, he is totally going to disown me, I know!! But then, that is what childhood does to you. The Innocent is back and I am loving motherhood.

P.S: And, did I tell you that I have two best friends........ Ok….this is me!!

Swimming with the frogs..... ~ From a Nomad's Diary

There is a lot of fun involved when you club your activities with children. We learn a lot from our own children as we try to impart our limited knowledge to them. But there is one thing children teach us which we find difficult to learn, and that is being fearless. And that is just one of the lessons we got in our recent swimming escapades which also in the process revealed a lot to us about ourselves.

I am a regular here at the plunge bath in our campus, in the place we live. And I look forward to enjoying the therapeutic effects of swimming in the bluish green waters as it relieves me of all stress and anxieties. (am least bothered at how my skin has tanned). And then, with my almost three year old son, the experience of teaching him to swim gets all the more challenging. Considering that my son enjoys in the pool, I did not face much challenge in getting him to wear his arm floats and helping him paddle his feet. But being a toddler, he easily gets bored and distracted and I always have to search for something to keep him motivated to swim. Such as leaves that fall off from the trees nearby or maybe, some flower carpals that float in the water are enough to keep my son in the pool as he swims to catch them. So the saga continued for days until three close friends also 'pooled' in with their children, one 2.5 years old and the other 1.5 years old. And today, as we swam midst the incredibly increasing decibels of hollering, crying, squealing and whimpering of the three pranksters of ascending age groups, my son suddenly called out to me. “Mammmma….mammma….. see there is a frog!”

For a second there, I almost believed it to be some toy as the frog was still as a stone until it opened its mouth and breathed. All of us freaked out with one of us even having encountered the slimy creature jump over her feet, which she had at that instant, shrugged it off as some leaf. The pool man came and removed it with a huge net. Not forgetting to mention, the children were the most ecstatic with my son super annoyed later at the fact, that the frog had been caught. That instant however changed a lot about the perceptions of an adult and a child. We for one, were still feeling awkward accepting that we actually swam in the pool that had a frog. However, our children were the happiest. They had shed all fears of drowning and were suddenly more interested in searching for more frogs, if any. And boy, children do have an eye for detail for the things they search with all their soul. Four more frogs were ‘rescued’ in the intense search operation that happened, lest they get trampled under the feet of us noisy adults. The pool man later explained that the change in weather from the bright sunny to cloudy and rainy had got these creatures out from the dense foliage nearby. However, nothing deterred us from swimming the laps as we practiced for long. I got more time to swim and try the strokes I did with ease in my childhood. Two of us quickly learned the basics and practiced for a long time until the strong pull of hydrophobia waned. And, the children were having a ball of a time in the pool, learning to swim, all by themselves. Fears had left us and the pool.

Every experience gives a perspective. This was one that just made us look at things differently through the eyes of a child. The children were initially scared to get in the water and we were initially scared of the uninvited amphibians. But both, learned from each other about shedding the irrational fears that clung to us. One of us joked, "May be these guys are checking us out! Eh?" Perspective eh!

The image below sums up what I have in mind right now.....

For people with those 'YIKES' expression can keep their fears limited to themselves.

       

For people who think we are mad, u bet! We are crazier than the craziest and we love to be that way!

      

For people who think we are uncouth, let me assure you, we are all well equipped with anti-fungal creams and powders at home, lest you think about the frogs and their sliminess! Also, chlorine itself is a form of disinfectant.

And finally, for people who think we are adventurous, bang on! Join the club!

And then, we swam with the frogs……of course, searching for them to be rescued!!

My son and his first best friend TW ~ From a nomad’s diary

The day my son, A was placed in my arms as a cuddly red bundle three years back, I knew the three qualities that defined him – stubborn, thoughtful and social (a combination that is difficult to handle). The other qualities, good and otherwise unfolded as we watched him evolve into an incredibly mischievous toddler from an inquisitive little new born.  But, the three innate qualities remained. His stubbornness drives us crazy. His thoughtfulness at times, surprises us. And his social circle has selective people who he allows in his orbit of acknowledgment. Although, he plays with everyone at school, he has this one special friend back home to, whom he is most attached, of all. This one friend is his best friend, his partner in crime, his friend who is unquestioningly a game to everything my son says and is the one with whom I have seen my son in his happiest self. So, allow me to introduce my neighbor’s adopted year old mongrel – Three wheeler (TW).

How he joined us in our neighborhood, how he became everyone’s darling and most importantly, how he earned his name, is something my neighbor cum friend N shall write about in near future, considering she has monitored his growth and behavior right from the time he was born. Having been his benevolent guardian whose motherly affection and good care is unparalleled, her efforts have paid off making TW the best behaved mongrel I have ever come across. Tolerant in nature and having undergone a tad too many challenges at a time, when affection, food and care were the primary requisites for this pup then, TW has indeed come a long way. Not forgetting to mention, he earned my ire too quite often, when he was a pup. Those days, his notoriety knew no bounds. Be it, pooping in front of my door early in the mornings and then scooting off as soon as I used to open the door or, be it gathering the other pups in assorted mischief, TW was the lead who followed Capt Jack Sparrow’s lines religiously– Fight to Flight when trouble knocks. Ever since, I have seen him evolve from a troublemaker pup into an impeccably alert guard dog.

Coming to my son's blossoming friendship with TW, I realized today that my son does not think TW is a dog at all. Rather, he treats him like a sibling, playing with him, admonishing him, ordering him around and then, hugging him intermittently to the extent that TW has to run away and duck under the sofa to elude my son's persistent pestering. Over a late morning snack of grilled potatoes and some lemon juice today, N and I caught A and TW in the middle of a conversation that was privy to them alone.

Scene 1:

A:  Hey TW, this is a tortoise, a baby tortoise! Look TW! (my son holds TW’s head and makes him look at the small wooden tortoise in N’s home next to a big one)

TW: now looking intently at the small tortoise

A: And, see this one is the big tortoise. This is mine. The small one is yours. OK? Take it….Take it……

TW: now looking at the big tortoise

A: NO! This is mine! That is yours!

TW: back to chewing his bone

Scene 2:

A: (running wildly all over and screaming at the top of his voice): “AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF”

TW: (in tow behind):  skidding to a screeching halt!

Scene 3:

A: Lying next to TW and looking at him, conversing in some toddler language, patting him to sleep. (the tone was hush)

TW: Slowly closes eyes and dozes off!

A: Pretending to doze off!

There were many interesting conversations between them  that had more actions than words. And, so I might do great injustice if I were to elucidate them here, as no amount of words can describe that pure friendship developing between this sensitive mongrel and my naughty little boy.

I know not now, if I shall ever have a dog, as all my life I have been against having pets. But off late, my perceptions have changed. When I see my son vocalizing with TW, the twinkle in the latter’s eyes, so matches my son’s enthusiasm when they meet. It is as good as watching two boys playing, fighting, conspiring little tricks and then, resting together like chaddi buddies! I for one, know for sure that my son is a born animal lover. And his association with his first best friend TW has put all my doubts and apprehensions about bringing a new member in future, to rest.

So long TW, be good and have a hearty and healthy life.....God bless...!!

P.S: Photos coming soon!!

The leaf that looked like a fish ~ From a Nomad’s diary

Circa 1994:

The first time she stepped into the chilled bluish green chlorinated water of the huge swimming pool of GNFC Complex, Bharuch was in the year 1994, when she was about 9 yrs old. The pool had a netted partition that demarcated the baby pool from the actual swimming pool. For her, who never had entered water in her life of 9 years, it was a moment of sheer fear clubbed with awe and thrill. She had faced many such occasions where she had felt both in the same instant. One of which, was seeing a baby snake slide by in the porch of her home. And now she entered slowly in the baby pool as instructed by her father.  It was only after a while, she understood the concept of baby pool, which was least to say, as deep as an adult’s finger. When she saw the elder kids swim effortlessly on the other side, the question that pounded her constantly was ,”why can’t I?”. After a couple of days of having observed people enjoy their laps, she took the plunge. While her father was busy swimming in the deep waters, she jumped from the baby pool into the actual swimming pool, crossing over the netted partition. The next minute, she knew that swimming was no child’s play. It was an art. It was a technique. It was a lesson. And, the first lesson she learnt was, “If you do not swim, you drown”. As  she thought she was  on the verge of entering the other world with a lot of water having entered her mouth and nose and then, someone pulled her out gently. After coughing out all the chlorinated water, she looked softly at her anxious father who she thought, was going to reprimand her for her blatant display of stupidity. However he surprised her as always, “You want to learn! That is a good thing! I will talk to the coach tomorrow. But you have to be receptive and obedient. The coach is strict. OK?” Those words removed all her fears about water. And she knew, she was going to learn.

Present Day, 2014:

She remembered this incident on this day as she saw her almost three year old son trying to swim with the arm floats tightly wrapped around his little biceps. She never learned swimming with a float. Her coach was from old school, where floats of any kind were a big NO. She remembered how he had kept her head under the water till she learnt to flap her hands and paddle her feet simultaneously. The first time, when she was asked to dive from the diving board, she almost staggered. And then, she was picked like a doll and hurled into the water. There was no time for fear to grow. She realized that it was a different time then. With no coach for her son, she decided to teach her son with the arm floats. And then, the challenge began.

She: “Hey! Paddle your feet! Flap your arms!”

Son: “No mama! I will drown!”

She: “No! You won’t! I won’t let you! And these teddy floats won’t let you, either!”

Son: “Mama! Please hold my hands”

And then, suddenly he yelled, “Fish!! Fish!!”

She turned around to see a big brown leaf floating in the waters. For a second, she was tempted to correct him. It was not a fish. It was just a leaf. But she held her horses. Today was not the day to correct him. And then, she smiled.

She: “Hey see, there is a fish! Want to catch it with your hands! Go!”

Son: “Yes! Yes! I am going to catch it!”

Saying this, he paddled hard, flapping his arms vigorously, in the process deflating one side of his right arm float. Even as the realization eluded his attention, his focus gained over and he caught hold of the leaf and exclaimed delightfully, 

“See mama! I caught a fish that looks like a leaf”

She smiled as she swam towards him. She saw the leaf and then corrected her son, “Well, my munchkin! It is the other way round. It is a leaf that looks like a fish!”

Yes, the leaf that looked like a fish!

My little Capt Jack Sparrow - Savvy!~ Joys of motherhood

1^st March 2014:

Mother: Hey sweetheart! There you go, my munchkin! You get a choco pie if you tuck your pants into your socks!

Son: No! No please! Urrgghhhhh. (wailing at the top of his voice)

Mother: Wow! You would look stud in that outfit! Hey let me tie the bandana around your head.....and add some colorful beads to go with it!

Son: baaaaaabaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!!!!(still frowning)

Mother: Ok! Let’s do some makeup.... (as she proceeded to make the moustache, a small beard with the kajal)

Son: aarrghh!! $#%^&$^&............... (some ‘sassing’/swearing in toddler language)

Mother: Ok! Just the smokey eyes and the hat please!

Son: Go away.......................................................!!!!! (Runs away himself)

So if you were wondering what the entire hullabaloo is all about, it was all over a fancy dress competition. The frustrated child is my son Arjun and the over enthusiastic mother here, is of course, me! Both of us were busy running (with me after him obviously) as I tried getting my lil Capt Jack Sparrow in the right attire. However, my son was not convinced as he sulked, squirmed and glared at the very outfit, probably considering the fact, that he is a born pirate and did not need a dress and dialogue to define himself! Phew! Fancy dress competitions are only fancy to hear!!

A week before:

A week before, when I was informed about the school’s annual day by the Kidzee group, I was watching the movie – Pirates of the Carribean : On Stranger Tides. And that precise moment when Capt Jack Sparrow was having that not-so-common conversation with Gibbs (a conversation when for once, Jack the pirate was talking in a tongue that camouflaged his real good self) about how the Fountain of Youth tests the person’s character, I caught my son looking at the charming pirate intently. My husband smiled; nodding his head sideways (I never understand my husband’s intense expressions as he is not a very readable personality!). My son looked at me with gleaming eyes. And then, I knew! I knew what my son had to become for his fancy dress competition. Yes! My son will be Capt Jack Sparrow. Aye!

Even as rehearsals had started, my chirpy bundle of love co-operated well. He was happy with the character he was to enact, and loved swirling his toy sword in style, occasionally yelling, ‘Aye!’ I was elated, of course. And as I was enthusiastically sharing my son's antics with my husband, he cut me short asking, "sweetheart! Have you shown him the outfit? I guess you are in for one big challenge!” Somehow, it is my second nature to brush off my dear husband’s occasional cautions which seemingly sounding trivial, later snowball into challenges worth facing. And, me being me, I casually remarked, “Common! I am his mom! I know him! He loves that character and he will do it!” My husband said nothing more than a Good luck and a busy man that he is, he got drowned in his cornucopia of his never ending tasks/assignments/whatsoever!! And as the day neared, so kept on the pace of my excitement. 

1^st March 2014:

In the morning, my son was just too glad acting his character of his favorite pirate. And I thought, “How easy can this get?” The timing of the function was 4 PM. So, I thought it would be better to dress up my son at 3:30. And then, as the clock struck three, I called my son to have a look at his dress. He had worn it a couple of days back and I reassured myself, “Relax! This ain't going to be that difficult!”. And the moment that thought crossed my mind, began the chaotic noon with me looking like some poultry farmer trying to grab his chicken!! Well, in my case, it was a wild rooster knowing all the tactical defenses to be used against his tormentor which was me! After a lot of kicking, boxing and kickboxing followed by the not-so-appealing conversation at the beginning of this post, from his side, I finally got him to wear his white shirt tucked inside his blue jeans that were further docketed nicely within his socks. Then came, the hard part – the waist coat and a belt on it with a colorfully beaded thread hanging from his belt. The bribe I paid for getting that done was two perks straight from the refrigerator. And then, he wore his black shoes (he started hating them on that day particularly) and put on his hat. Bandana was a big no-no as he thought so! And then finally I got to do a lil makeup, giving a smoky look to his eyes and a mustache and a beard. Once done, all of us looked at him and were happy with what we saw. Well, not forgetting to mention, the pirate was not really happy as we expected him to be. But yes, our Sparrow was ready to rock the stage. He took his toy sword, fitted it well enough in his belt and then, we all proceeded towards the town hall where the function was to happen.

Kids can electrify a dull evening. I realized it on this day. And when I say electrify it means, the absolute bewilderment that gleams on the face of parents!

Oh My! Look at him, he is a lil Kejriwal fighting brashtachar!

Wow! Look at the warrior princess of Kerala! She sure has those gallant genes!

Well, who do we have next? A banana with some cool shades, a strawberry that looked every bit the fruit one would like to take a bite of, an angry bird that smiled, a tree fighting its survival and a lot more......And then came our pirate who raced towards the stage, as his father started with explaining to the audience about his perky and chirpy, cool and dramatic, funny and brave lil Capt Jack Sparrow. And then, we waited for the action to begin.

Silence.....

More Silence..............

Hat went flying in the air.........

Next was the sword which landed right next to the hat on stage..................

And then, more silence...........................................................................

After a while, our pirate took a walk around the stage as the soundtrack of the movie: Pirates of the Caribbean played for a minute and more. And absolutely no words, no swaying of sword and no action for minutes.....................................................................................................................................................

But then, what made me burst with pride is what followed. He refused to leave the stage and looked into the eyes of audience with a bold attitude. And in that passing moment I realized as a mother, no attire, no bandana, no sword, no makeup can buy you the attitude you need. It comes from within. And, my lil pirate had it in him! And not forgetting to mention, he taught me that by example! Yes, he has the attitude to face an audience; and needless to say, he has it a lot more to face the world.

As we got him off the stage after the music stopped, the show went on with many interesting performances by uber talented toddlers who would have put many gymnasts to shame. Yes, their stunts elated us, surprised us, made us laugh and most importantly, taught us parents that participation in an event is more rewarding than a reward itself! A very important lesson for all parents, especially mothers (like me and including me) who at a point got carried away in the zest to perform, which at some point of time did press the young powerhouses of talents in a not-so-desirable manner. Notwithstanding all that, the event was a success and it was real pleasure to see the toddlers perform sans any inhibition, sans any stage fright and sans any fear, which I feel is the most adorable and commendable quality about children.

And that said, when we reached home, my son took out his broken sword, swayed it in the air and spoke very slowly but faintly,

“Aye! I am Capt Jack Sparrow! Savvy?”

A face palm moment for me and my husband, but a proud moment at the same time!

P.S: I did not take any pics of my lil pirate, as he is averse to camera as much as I love to click him! Sigh!!

Have you felt the child in you? ~ Joys of Motherhood

I always thought I am incapable of entertaining small kids because I cannot do the cooing and googlybooglying little children. Even today, as a mother of an almost two toddler, I can’t. But I can play a lot. Like, playing with my son is a full time job that I love to do. Suddenly, I become his playmate and mind well, when I become his playmate, I am a toddler as per him. We play hide and seek. We snatch each other’s toys and I enjoy seeing him cry, get angry, bang his tiny hands on the table and then as a last resort complain to his father or his grandparents. And then, my mother who plays the devil’s advocate admonishes me and asks me to do what he wants. And that leaves him giggling with his hands covering his mouth. I would happily become the toddler to only relish that priceless expression on his face, the expression of victory that comes after having battled hard. Some days, when I get tired of this game, he forcibly hands over his toys to me and urges me to fight! And then, he rushes to his grandparents to complain about me. These are the times I love the most, when I am treated more as his sibling than his mother. It is only in the night he rolls over to my side and gets cuddled in my arms. And that feeling of being loved involuntarily is unparalleled. My hands automatically curl around him and both sleep tight.....

Motherhood has its challenges. It starts with long sleepless nights, feeding newborn for long hours, changing soiled diapers and many physical discomforts follow suit. But it is all worth in the end when the child grows, evolves, becomes naughtier and surprises you each day with a different trick up his sleeve, imitates you, speaks to you in a mixture of languages he picks up from all the people he meets. Elders often say, “kozhandayum Deivum Gunathal ondru”. It is true. Because they perceive everyone in the same manner sans any bias, discrimination or selected interest. And from them we often get lessons for a lifetime.....

P.S: This post is inspired by the image above.

My son's first day at school ~ Joys of Motherhood

What really goes on in a mind of a two year old when he goes to school for the first time? What does he feel? What does he expect? What does he anticipate? What does his heart tell him when he sees many minions like him waiting outside the gate of his school, just like him? Some answers may never be known but then, there definitely can be many interpretations drawn from the myriad emotions that flood a child’s face on his first day in school.

My son turned two on 22^nd June this year. And after a lot of heated arguments, late night discussions and after persistent cajoling and coaxing, I finally managed to convince my hubby that our son did require some space and time in a playgroup. Well, hubby was intending to put him in nursery directly at the age of two and a half to which I too had agreed to,  some time back. But considering the way the last month passed, I felt it was time to preschool him. Toddlers in the age group of 2-3 cannot just be difficult, but impossible. They are adorable, cute and innocent, and the next minute they transform into the most incredibly complicated and notorious creatures who can gobble up all the patience in the world! And the last one month, while I was in my home town I realized the need to preschool my son. If he voluntarily helped me in some house hold chores and obeyed me more often than not, it would just take any random second to bring out the blue in him, when his mood swings haywire. And then, the same adorably sober son grows horns on his head. Be it emptying buckets of water in the hallway or be it switching off the computer/laptop when I am smack in the middle of a banking transaction, be it honking incessantly while I ride my activa with him standing in the front or be it throwing anything and everything in our neighbor’s garden, my son can adorn his pest avatar at the most inopportune time. Not that his activities are deliberate, but the fact that his incredible energy cannot be channelized the way it should be, at home. And with that, my husband and I reached a truce. We were pre schooling him.

A week later after we reached our home, we enrolled him in one of the nearest preschools KidZee (run by the Zee grp). Although the fees were expensive, we had taken a decision. After all, when we as grown ups search for people of our age group to converse with. And then, kids are no different. So today 24th June '2013 was his first day at school. So, how did it turn out to be? Not the way I expected it to turn out and Not bad either. As I proceeded towards the playgroup area with my son at 9:15 AM, I could see my son gaping in awe at the many 2 foot minions who creating a ruckus, driving their teachers mad. I could see them running from one corner to the other helping the toddlers with their never ceasing activities. My son's expression to me somewhat read like this, "Oh! I am not the only Gunda in this whole wide world! There are so many like me, and some bigger than me too!". My son went inside (not bothering to look back at me or take his tiffin box and water bottle) and proceeded to explore his new place. The playgroup area, besides brimming with hyper active toddlers, was filled with a lot of preschool paraphernallia like toys, slides, abacus, slates and chalkpieces, blocks containing alphabet etc...... My son roamed around freely, exploring every nook and crevice of his world and in the process trying to make a few friends (well, that is what I deduced from his actions). I soon made a move back home as the teachers convinced me to pass on the challenge of handling my son to them. Also, the challenge would become a little less difficult if I were out of his comfort perimeter for a while. 

At 11:30 I went back only to find my son crying and totally mellowed down. He came running towards me and jumped straight into my outstretched arms. He instantly fell quiet and was looking forward with utmost eagerness to get back home. I asked the teachers about his first day and they said, "He played well for an hour. And then when he was tired and realized you were not there around, he finally joined the huge bandwagon of toddlers who were crying their lungs out for their parents/grandparents etc.....Dont worry! First day for a kid is always this way. He will soon get used to the routine." As I rode back with him, he replied with a little 'hmm', 'huh', 'mmmm' to my incessant questions about his first day at school (an unlikely situation as it usually is him asking me too many things while I ride). And no sooner did he recognize the familiar road that led to our home, he became the same naughty self again. We arrived home. On being asked by his adorable granny as to how his first day at school was, he replied after 15 minutes of deep thought,  "mum-mumm, tummy". I made his lunch - a bowl of steaming hot dal chawal with some ghee (his favorite meal - the humble dal chawal/paruppu sadam). His eyes twinkled.

Well, it was the first day after all. Not bad. Let's hope it gets better :)

Cheers & God bless...!!

A Sunday well spent with the wild ~ Second Zoo visit

So, this Sunday was truly memorable. In every way. It was our first trip outside the mofussil town of Mhow to Indore, a city of food lovers and animal lovers too! Which was the precise reason for our visit there. Kamala Nehru zoological park is located on A.B road of Indore between Naulakha and Chaavni. It happens to be one of the oldest zoos with recently captured three white tigresses. And that was enough to lure us into animal watching. But before that, we had to refuel ourselves as we had nothing but tea since morning. So we stopped by the chappan gali of Indore. It was truly a sight to watch out for. There are about 50 + shops selling mouth watering fast food. Most of the crowd comprised of college going students considering the fact that Indore too is an educational hub like Pune. We chose one that was less crowded (when I say less crowded, it means a lil space to accommodate four of us. It was that crowded in each joint!). We ordered three plates of shahi poha, a plate of jalebi, a plate of Idli and three plates of Pav Bhaaji. Only when we started eating, we realized we were totally famished. And the food, I got to say was out of the world. There is something to the culinary skills of Indoreans. They have this uncanny ability to make the most simple foods taste extraordinarily delectable. The shaahi poha was nothing but a normally made poha garnished with finely chopped onions, tomatoes, green chillies, fresh coriander, pomegranate seeds and farsan. Pav Bhaji was quite spicy, yet so appetizing. And with a plate of jalebis the spices were perfectly balanced in our tummies. And after another round of sipping tea, we headed towards the zoo.

Kamala Nehru Zoo, Indore

Zoos have always been fascinating to me. So, it is all in the genes. My son too loves to watch animals, and mind well, wild animals. Sometimes, the way he keeps looking at lions and tigers on Nat Geo, my husband and I get that feeling as if he is going to run into the television and hug the wild cats. Yes, he absolutely loves them. So when we entered, guess who greeted us a long afternoon? Emu, the second largest bird and a native of Australia. When standing, it almost matched my height. I had never seen one before and my son’s eyes were riveted on it. Although I wouldn’t call it a beauty, there is a magnificence in every creation of nature. And emu has its splendour in those clawed feet (Its one and straight long hut shaped feathers (which are often a catch for the poachers). As we proceeded, the second host to welcome us was the Indian rock python. The majestic creature had just had its lunch and so it slowly started crawling out of its shell. After my son’s efforts in grabbing the snake’s attention by a constant hiss hiss sound went futile, we proceeded towards the next enclosure. In a city, perhaps this would be the best place to do some bird watching. And boy, almost all jungle birds have been provided sanctuary here in order to protect them from poachers. We saw mountain parakeets, vultures, eagles, wild fowls, swans, pelicans, country ducks, white peacocks and multi colored love birds. And opposite them, were the rodent family that included rabbits and porcupines. The next were the jungle mammals that comprised of the docile breed. There were black bucks, neel gai (as they call them the blue bull found mostly in Assam and West Bengal) and spotted deers. Among them, the black bucks were truly a beauty. Their horns were shaped spirally and I believe, they are mostly used in making weapons like spheres. And not forgetting to mention, Black bucks are an endangered species. (Remember the infamous black buck shooting case of the 90’s that landed Salman Khan in a coup?)

As we were discussing the black beauty, my son suddenly ran towards the opposite side. Also there was a crowd dropping in there. So what did we see there? Gaping wide and basking in the late morning sun were the most ferocious lot that ruled the roost in the food chain. Ghadiyals, Aligators and Crocodiles (of course, they were in different enclosures) come under the world’s five deadliest. If you just have one look at them, you can be easily fooled into believing that you actually saw nothing, or perhaps, a huge stone slab or even a rock. Another closer look drives the chill down the spine. As the saying goes, the power lies with the one who has the stealth, the alertness and the speed, all in the accurate proportion, these reptiles surely are the incredibles. Then we saw hyenas, foxes and wolves. Among these breeds of wild canines, hyenas are huge (quite huge, actually) followed by wolves and then foxes. Sometimes, the sound of a hyena can be mistaken easily for laughing/gagging sounds of a human. However, among the three, wolves are supposedly most ferocious. It was already past one hour and we took a quick break as we settled under the cool shades of huge banyan trees. It took us a while to realize that all of us were tanned, not realizing it all this time. Later, we proceeded towards the den of our national animal – Tiger. This is one animal that has fascinated me to no bounds. The way it walks, the way it looks through you, the way it corners its prey, it is royal by all means. We saw white tigers and the Bengal tiger. Although it was resting time, we still managed to click them in that little time window. Sadly, there were no lions. (But then, we were content with the tigers, you see :P)

Then, we passed by the enclosures of bears, cheetah, leopards, hippos, tortoises and monkeys. The zoo is well maintained in the sense that animals are well taken care of. There is also a zoo hospital inside that tends to wounded/sick animals. As usual, eatables and plastic items are not allowed inside. Animals are not supposed to be fed or hurt or intimidated in whatsoever way. Ironically, people were littering the beautiful lawn with emptied food packets and plastic bottles. Also it was sad to watch a lot of children hurling tiny pebbles at the alligators and crocodiles. Notwithstanding the fact that they are ferocious animals, yet they live in captivity. That is when I realized, one cannot teach children, the love for animals. It is imbibed if we follow what we preach. Sad, but true that rules are always meant to be broken.

So here comes the end. It was a Sunday and so Indore market was closed. Nevertheless, we purchased a few items from the old market side and binged on kulfi to relieve ourselves from the scorching Sun. Then after exploring the entire old market (taking a note actually for the next shopping trip), we proceeded towards having a scrumptious lunch at JNB restaurant, Indore. We ordered an Amritsari thali and it contained three lachha parathas, one paneer amritsari, one dal makhani, a rice plate, a pickle, salad, a boondi raita and two juicy warm gulabjamuns. And with that, I could say, it was a well spent Sunday indeed. We headed back home with fond memories of the zoo visit. Next, we are planning soon to make a visit to the Jim Corbett National park, considering all three of us are animal lovers, in the sense we love to watch them and not tame them J

So long, till then, stay tuned for more interesting posts to come J

Signing off for now.....

P.S: Due to closely netted enclosures, we could only capture the images perfectly in our memory. It was tricky to click as it was noon, which is either snack time or nap time for the wild. Hence, we had to wait long for the animals to show up. Yet, I somehow managed to club a few pics that you must have seen while scrolling down.

A reason to smile ~ Joys and Challenges of Parenthood

".....and that is how my tata sky remote landed inside the water cooler.....!!"

Besides the monotony of life that overrides our moods most of the time, there are yet many things around that bring a smile on one’s face. Well just to start with, early mornings always make me smile. The bright Sun that rises in the east, the kids waiting for their school bus, the street dogs collecting their pack to get ready for the hunt, the soothing bird music that pleases the ears, the dew that kisses the eyes and also the little tomatoes that are growing on my terrace are just some of the nature’s way of expressing, “There is always a reason to smile”.

In my case however, I have every reason to smile, get stupefied, go crazy, bang my head on the wall and then have a good laugh in the end. Apparently, my lovely reason happens to be my adorable year old son who leaves no stone unturned in making my mornings hilariously tough. My son usually has that face that can make anyone believe that he is incapable of doing any mischief. Looks can be deceptive, I say! In his most sober mood, my son would either be transporting my utensils in his tricycle from kitchen to hall or shove all his miniature toys inside his father’s boots/shoes or perhaps grab those Maggi packets and place them in the most unthinkable places of home, like laundry bag, shoe cabinet or drawers of our dressing table. And how does he greet his daddy good morning? It all starts first with gentle patting, then by pulling his father’s hair and then finally waking up his ‘sleeping Daddy’ with sweet bites and warm pinches. “What a way to wake someone up!” is my husband’s usual retort in the morning later followed by his more confused reactions to unexpected mischief that our son always has up his sleeves. Like misplacing his father’s belt or shoving his tie under the bed or even placing some of his building blocks in the coziest sitting places of our home are just to name a few. Our son never ceases to surprise us with his plan of action. His face radiates innocence and his actions could nullify the very meaning of naughtiness. Reading out stories, playing with him and taking him out in the evening were probably not enough to channel his endless energy. So ever since I downloaded some old multilingual rhymes for him, his mischief had taken a back seat for a while. It is sheer pleasure to watch his tiny frame swaying in rhythm to the rhymes as he tried to catch the lyrics that appeal to him the most. As parents, my husband and I gazed at him lovingly and sighed in relief, “Respite!”

My mother often tells me, “Children understand everything. There is not a thing that they fail to catch as their grasping and understanding power surpasses ours.”. I understood what she said, in the absolute sense only after the incident I am about to narrate, happened. So my son had been enjoying his rhymes for quite some time when as a parent I realized, his rhymes period had exceeded the usual time limit of 30 minutes per day. Also the men in my house wanted to watch news @ 9, so that they could have something to discuss over dinner. So when I switched to our Tata Sky mode, my son first objected by crying and then by asking for his remote by curling his tiny fingers in and out. Although I was tempted to extend his rhyme period, the stern mother in me won over and I told him, “Enough for today!”. After a few minutes, he calmed down and stared blankly at the remote. His eyes said nothing. Silently, he left the room and moved towards the kitchen. A while later my father and my husband settled down for dinner as both did not want to miss the News @ 9 on NDTV. And then after a while, my son entered the room…..

Our TV went blank after some time. What happened thereafter was a massive search op for the Tata Sky remote that was nowhere to be found. Our bedroom resembled a war zone. The search went on for about 20 minutes. As both were busy searching, my son couldn't help pass out a small giggle which immediately convinced my husband that whatever happened had to be our son’s doing. After a lot of cajoling and pleading, my son pointed at the air cooler water window that is barely two and a half inches wide. At first, my husband flashed a torch inside to take a better look (for he really did not believe or rather want to believe that our son had forced down that not-so-sleek remote through that hole). One second look and a pair of surprised eyes were fixated on the Tata Sky remote floating in water inside the cooler. The highlight of the incident were the expressions that lit up everyone’s face. My father had that genuinely bewildered expression (as he was the one always harping on everyone, “Oh he is a child! Don’t scold him please”), my mother’s eyes had almost popped out in surprise not ready to digest the fact that her only grandson was a super sweet brat who was growing fast and there stood my husband with no expression. I could make out that he was angry but couldn't express it. However, his anger dissolved the moment, my son pulled out his usual tactic by pointing to his eyes and saying, "Aiiiizzzzzz".  (Something my husband had spent a great deal of time teaching him about eyes, nose, ears and mouth). And me being me, was the only one who was not surprised considering I get to experience the blues of his mischief every now and then, every single day.

Now as I write, I recall the days when this very little adorable bundle of joy was growing and kicking inside me, giving me undefined strength and company to enter the beautiful phase of life: Motherhood. And I realize, he is not just my strength. He is our friend, our love, the very purpose of our living, a beautiful gift from God who makes us realize the real worth of living. Of course, he is not in his best behavior all the time. Notwithstanding the fact that he somehow manages to drive both of us to the wall with his never ending mischief, but he is also the one who plays peacemaker when my husband and I get into arguments. To bring truce, all he does is tug at his father’s sleeves, hop into his lap and stroke his face with those tiny fingers until my husband starts grinning. And later he would approach me, tilt his head to one side and give me a toothy grin (which he knows makes me scoop him and smother him with kisses). How much ever he gets us mad with those unexpected incidents at the most inopportune times, at the end of every strenuous day, we just know that we have every reason to smile, to sleep in peace only after seeing that divine smile on our sleeping son’s cherubic face with his tiny hands curled around my neck and with his father’s hand on his head. 

A reason to smile, isn’t it?

Cheers & God bless...!!

...And the journey continues... ~ Joys of motherhood

I still remember a couple of years back when my husband and I kept speculating over whether it would be a boy or a girl. And so was the world around us. Some said, it would be a girl and some said it would be a boy. Though I had recurring dreams of cradling a baby girl in my arms, deep inside I knew it was going to be a boy each time those erratic yet soft kicks woke me up from the irregular sleep cycles that I had. And then just a year back, all those thoughts vanished when a cuddly red bundle of joy was placed in my arms, a son! That was the time I realized I was in love all over again.....

With my son over an year old, the journey of motherhood has been tantalizing, crazy, hectic but most enjoyable. Each phase that has gone by in the last one year has given me those breath taking moments which I can now just enjoy by watching videos as to how my son used to cringe when someone picked him and pulled at his cheeks or how his toothless grin filled our home with giggles and genuine surprises. And time just flies.....my son now walks all by himself, has learned how to climb and get down the staircase (though his watchdog of a mom keeps an eye on him all the time), pulls out his building block set and scatters all the blocks and tries putting them back together or plays his toy xylophone with a renewed vigour after he sees me playing my keyboard. We play hide and seek, throwball and ‘chase the thief’ game most of the day (where I always end up being the thief) and then hear and recite rhymes together, have our lunch together (though these days he prefers eating from his father’s plate thinking I give his father something extra always) and then take long walks together in the evening enjoying bird music in nature’s lap. As I see my son grow, I know for a fact that this is the time and this will be the only time when we both shall remain inseparable buddies. Every expression he gives gets imprinted in my mind and there is no camera that can work like memory which brings out the most cherished moments that cannot be captured in a click. Just like the other day, with a sly smile he walked towards my husband and made gesture as if he was going to put that 'something' hidden in his clenched fist, into his mouth to which my husband immediately switched on to high alert mode by opening our son’s mouth wide to check what was it. In the mean time, our brat of a son put that crumbled piece of paper into his father's mouth and had a hearty laugh! And then the other day, he gestured me to come out of kitchen while I was cooking just to let me know that he was dipping my mobile in the water jug. And that naughty smile on his face made me wonder whether I should get angry or should I laugh my lungs out. May be he thought, my mobile should have a bath too. And there are many such AHA moments which make me rewind and enjoy the funny lovable incidents that have passed and the ones that keep happening every now and then. Not forgetting to mention, my son does give me tough time and always succeeds in driving me up to the wall. He makes use of every opportunity to drive me insane by getting me in situations where all I can do is fume over his actions but cannot react. Or in his most sober mood, he would be emptying a packet of mustard seeds on the dark flooring of our quarters where it is impossible to differentiate between an insect or a mustard seed. But all those crazy moments become insignificant at the end of each day when he comes to me with outstretched arms in the night, when he wants to hear my voice, stroke my cheeks with his tiny fingers and smile at me with a sense of security that I am always there for him, come what may.

As time shall pass, he will make new friends. His social circle will keep growing. School will become his second home. Although our relationship will remain the same, the equation is bound to change. Now is the time when I will be teaching him and then will come a time, when he says ‘Oh mom! You don’t know this. Ok, let me teach you.’ Well, there is still some time for that. So, I shall enjoy this period while it lasts. And for now, I have just two words - ‘Parenthood rocks!’

.....And when I fell in love again..... ~ Love at first sight!

I have 'never' been a person who could throw affection around. I 'never' like to impress people and I 'never' have done that. Even if I like someone, I am just too head strong to accept it. I 'never' believed I was capable of falling in love. I 'never'..................................................................................................

You see, this ‘I never believe…..’ stuff is a myth! The moment man utters these three words trailing on to something he never plans to do, the Vaasthu Gods open their eyes and grant the wish blindly by playing a deaf ear to the ‘never’ part. So, as Gods willed I too fell in love. I fell in love truly, madly and deeply with my husband. And then I had thought so, I could never love anyone else as much as I him. Well, I was wrong......because destiny had decided to prove that I could fall in love again, for a second time, with another man...........

.....It was sheer love at first sight. A love that came as a lightning and struck hard, so hard that I was engulfed in images of that incredibly handsome face, a face that swept me off my feet. Those olive black eyes that were bottomless pools of intrigue and a sense of knowing continued to pull my soul into them. That incomplete smile made me think if he was reading through me......that smile could kill!  And those unexpected warm hugs and kisses were nothing less than a sign from destiny that I finally found my purpose in life.

I do not remember when and how I fell in love with him. The love was nothing less than an enigma and it was so uncontrollably powerful. It felt as though it ran in my veins, fast and deep! It made me feel like a mere mortal resigned to those mammoth waves of love that reverberated from this person. In short, he made me comprehend love in a way I never knew existed. I could drown in his eyes and in his voice for eternity. His sadness caused me pain. His happiness gave me eternal joy. Everything about him made me fall in love with him over and over again, and each time it felt as though it was the first time. His smell, his touch and his kiss would unlock the dam of affection in my heart in a jiffy. And now, I live for him. 

Not that I love my husband any less, but for this special love, there is nothing I would hesitate doing. After all, he loves me too with the same intensity as I do. Our bond is special after all! And more so, because it is a gift from God. And that’s when I fell in love again, again and again….

This other man in my life is none other than my adorable son, Arjun who turned exactly 7 months old on 22nd Januray this year.

"Dear son, you make my life so beautiful. Thanks for giving birth to the mother in me and thanks for everything! And this post is for you, just for you…..Love you till my last breath and thereafter! God bless…!!"