Chapter 3: Does life come with an instruction manual? Does danger come without warning? ~ Chapters from my life

7^th March 2013:

Things just don’t happen, just like that. Do they? Do dangers give warnings? Are there signs around? May be. We just don’t see things coming. We take things lightly. We take life often for granted. We recklessly abuse ourselves at times consciously and otherwise. But the bottom line is we don’t care much about the gift called life. And that is when destiny decides to part lessons. And when it does, we get to savor the most unsavoury phases of life, phases we wished did not exist, phases we wished were just a dream and not real, phases we wished did not happen with us.

It all started on 7^th March. The morning was a shock more than a surprise. I woke up with a dizzy head, droopy eyes and a throat that was not sore, yet not right. I could not gargle. And when I spoke, I felt I was speaking through my nose, making me sound very funny. Something was not right. It just wasn’t. Besides, it brought back some ugly memories of the same experience from four years back where in I had a similar problem that was cured by medicines within a week. But this time, there was some sinister presence that was warning me of a problem that was soon to change a lot about my life. My throat had started behaving funnier with time. Throat is that one organ which helps you communicate in the right way. What if you just wake up one day only to realize that you are not able to talk properly and you have a persistent dizziness that does not allow you to see or perceive anything clearly? Ironically, there was no fever, no swollen tongue or throat, no headache and no cough or cold for that matter. And to add to my woes, an ENT surgeon at MH even went to the extent of believing that I was just making up a case out of nowhere! I had no clue what had happened to me. Neither did the doc. That was the day I understood the meaning of the word helplessness. My voice that was my companion many a time, suddenly left my side. I could not respond to people. Nor did people around me understand whatever is the problem. This time made me realize the worth of speech. And I was silently muttering prayers to end the nightmare that was just the tip of an iceberg waiting to wreck my life.....

Lines on that day: Will there be an end to this nightmare? Will I get normal? When mind plays games, all doors of sanity close on you. Helplessness is the word.....