De-cluttering mind, so much to let out and so much to let in ~ Mind-full musings

8th July ‘2011 : 11:45 AM

Days pass slowly. Nights fly fast. And at times I fail to differentiate between days and nights. Looks like, they have merged into one. During the day, the Sun hides itself behind the thick sheath of dark nimbus that engulfs the blue skies of an otherwise sunny day. Nights are pitch dark sans the twinkling of stars, except for the occasional lightning that lights up the sky and with frequent uproars of thunders. Aaah, I had wished for rains long back when the heat wave was intolerable. Also, as planned, husband was to come on a 20 day leave to spend quality time with family. But nothing goes as planned and life has been relentlessly teaching me that time and again and that is to expect the unexpected. He had come for a 20 day leave but had to leave for an urgent commitment within 5 days. However, this is something I have been quite used to in the past 2 years (being an army officer’s wife, adjustments are crucial). Now the rains are here, but it feels empty to spend a monsoon this way, with husband slogging away in some post across LOC! How much ever, life teaches patience and perseverance the hard way, it does take a great deal of time for the concept of ‘going with the flow’ to sink in. Words of acumen appear to be soothing any other time. However, they can be insanely bitter only when one is forced to go through trying times…..

Coming to the brighter side, in husband’s power vacation of 5 days with family, I must say that our little prince charming and his TDH dad became quite a pair. The moment he was cuddled into a bundle into my husband’s arms I could sense, my boy would be a papa’s boy. And I feel great about it, rather very glad! My lil one is 16 days old as of today and every ada of his, simply fascinates me to no bounds! The myriad cute expressions on his face that include occasional smiles when sleeping, ascending decibels of his wails when wanting to be picked up and cuddled and frequent kicking of those soft baby pillows which often hit his grandpa (by sheer co-incidence), while he hears his grand ma singing him songs with rapt attention and when he gives me that commanding look at tummy time and bed time…..babies are not just innocence personified, they make you wonder at marvels of nature. It does not take just an egg and a sperm to make a wonder like that! Perhaps, this wonder is more a product of unseen magic and prayers. During pregnancy, when my husband and I went through the videos of fetal development on a website, we were quite intrigued! Not that we do not know how fetal development happens. Considering, both of us were Science students in school, we are quite aware of the technical facts, but watching a fetal development video month by month, is very enthralling. The way, a fetus develops inside a woman’s body, slowly and gradually, with every month adding to its growth, with limbs sprouting out, hair and nails growing, neurons developing along with the brain cells…..they are something that cannot be explained absolutely by Science, although medical facts vouch for it! Would say, it is way beyond a man’s making and is more of God’s magic at work! Sometimes I look my baby and wonder, ‘this is how a baby Cupid would look like!’

Well, every good thing that comes into one’s life demands he/she has earned it well! Motherhood is no different! As ground reality hits hard, I have been jolted out of my innate laziness that was born with me. Yes, it has taken me a while to get accustomed to a changed pattern in my lifestyle. Sleep cycles have become erratic. Now I realize why people used to tell me while I was pregnant, ‘Sleep while you can. Once the kid is out, you would not get to sleep at all!’ And in those days, I and sleep conveniently eluded each other. And now I don’t get enough of it. It does not surprise me though when I find myself sleeping in the oddest hours of the day, when the whole world around me is buzzing with life. Coming to my diet, I eat healthy now (well have been doing that unusually for the past 9 months). So, when I say ‘healthy’, I mean it! Fruits that were never in my list of foods are perpetually on my plate all three times a day and also as snacks! Nevertheless, now I too have got a taste of good healthy stuff. But cannot vouch for how long the self control will linger. And when I think of rich food, (would not say ‘healthy’), I miss Pune pretty bad! It has been a while now, since I left Pune on this much awaited hiatus. A city for gourmet lovers that it is, it had transformed me into an absolute foodie! To be honest, I do miss the cheesy pizzas of Lil Italy, rich hazelnut brownies of Bakers Basket, amazingly mouth watering fish biryani of Mahesh Lunch home, butter chicken of George and Blue Nile, Pav Bhajis of Shiv Sagar and the yummy south Indian food in the small homely outlets run by Iyer mamis and mamas! There are many more things I miss about Pune, but on the other hand, I am also enjoying the tranquility of my hometown, which at the moment has a very soothing effect on me.....

Sometimes, I wonder how much it takes for a change to settle down. A great deal of course! In my case, I feel the person in me has transformed completely, yet gradually! Cant remember this person who couldn't sacrifice food and sleep for whatsoever reason! But change does the wonders! Does it not? Would say, change feels good and even better as long as the results are rewarding. Isn’t it?