Remembering Father’s day, 19th June ~ Parenthood

P.S:This post is dedicated to my parents, especially my father - my best friend!

19th June : 8.00 AM

Reminiscing cherished moments from past…..

Yesterday as my parents and I were enjoying a windy day, sitting on our lawn, sipping away nice hot ginger tea with a few pieces of bread toast, cherished memories of my childhood ran in front of my eyes. And as I watched this adorable grey haired couple talk about the memories of a lifetime, my eyes blurred and I suddenly found myself taken back to a different time in a different world…..!

I could see a girl barely 3 years old getting ready for her school. Her eyebrows were knitted into a valley with those brown eyes beneath them filled with defiance. Looked like she was not ready for the moments that awaited her some time from then. Her mother packed her tiffin, while her father bent down to tie her shoe lace. And once ready, with a handkerchief pinned to the left of her checkered red colored uniform, with her tiny bag packed and dangling in her father’s arm and with her mother holding her favorite water bottle, she took her first baby steps, venturing out into a world she did not know. And the trio reached a building. There she could see many like her, all tiny tots waiting outside with their parents. Suddenly she heard a bell ringing and her brown eyes widened and her ears alerted! She looked around, and the atmosphere was chaotic. A woman dressed in a habit with a cross hanging down from her neck, came out from a room, arranged all the tots in a line and made them march towards a tiny room. Suddenly the firm secure grip on her tiny hands loosened. And now, as she saw the woman pulling her hands away from her parents, the child’s eyes mirrored fear, fear of being deserted all of a sudden. She looked back with tearful eyes and saw her parents waving a good bye to her with all smiles! At that instant, she asked her first question in her life, "Where are they leaving me?..... and why?" The year was 1987 – The Year of Home-Away for first time ~ First Day at school!

Exactly 17 years and 9 months later, the scene repeated. There were 2 trolley bags and 2 suit cases packed neatly in the dickey seat of her father’s car. Her mother, after her morning prayers packed a lot of snacks in those air tight ziplac covers and loaded them in a cloth bag. She was sitting on their lush green lawn of her home, breathing in the freshness of the morning air with the sweet bird music soothing her ears at 7 AM in the morning and with the cool dew drops caressing her feet under. And a tear drop trickled from her left eye, as she knew she was going away for a long time and this time her parents won’t be bringing her back after a couple of hours, as it was in pre-school. Yes, she had grown, while the child in her refused to! She was entering a new phase in her life! And the year was 2002 – The Year of Self-dependence ~ First day at hostel!

Celebrating Father’s day : 19th June

And today almost 10 years later, with an year and more post my marriage, I look at this wonder couple and wonder, “Well, they sure have worked a miracle together!” My parents have just not been my parents alone, they have enacted every other role including that of a friend, a sibling, a teacher, a guide, considering I was biologically late to the family party. And celebrating Father’s day today, I fall short of words to express how I feel about this day. Father’s day is special, and even more special if you are a daughter. And for this day, I cannot thank God enough for making me a daughter of an adorable man who has slogged all his life with his better half (mommy dearest) to secure a life full of happiness for me! As my thoughts drift back to present, I can see my parents arguing, teasing and mocking each other every now and then over their tea time, discussing politics, water problems and what not! And again, my mind churns out those moments of pride in my life where my father has stood by my side through thick and thin in every step I ventured out in this uncertainty ridden world.

The first time I delivered my elocution speech on Road safety in grade 5, my first project in Science Fair in grade 6, my first time participation in Debate in grade 7, my first time in a swimming pool when I felt water enter my nasal track as I coughed out tones of water later only to plunge into the pool again, the first time when I skated in the skating ring only to fall down and rise again with a sprained leg, the first time when I rode my bicycle with me skidding off the road and falling into a thorn bush only to get up and ride it again with a bruised leg and the first time when I drove our car with a lot of apprehension and hit a signal post, my father was always by my side, soothing my nerves with those encouraging words, “Well done! You are doing great. However, you can do still better.”. Those words have not changed though the phases of our life have changed with time. And those very words are helping me go strong in a journey called life!

Lessons learnt: Words of widom…..

His words of wisdom and caution of advice time and again are a constant reminder of how precious life is and how lucky I am to have him by my side, to guide me in every phase of life and helping me take sane decisions from time to time. His constant guidance has helped me see the brighter side of life. Each time, I buckle down under pressure, with problems posing a never ending saga, within minutes he would calm me down, making me feel as if the problem was just a manifestation of my thoughts gone wild. And then, the problem although remains a problem appears measly as compared to the blown-out-of-proportion version, my mind could paint! I remember his words that ring in my ears every time I face an issue, ”Control your impulses and you control the number of your so-called problems”. So true!

Some of his power statements include:

• "The right knowledge and experiences that make you a better person must be shared, otherwise they will reduce you to a frog in a well and will never let you see the world above and beyond."
• "A problem is never a problem, if it has a solution! Till then, it is just an inconvenience. And……a problem if does not have a solution is not a problem at all, as it is just a way of life. Accept it, with grace!"
• "Reserve your right to speak. Reserve your right to hold your tongue. Listen to people around. It is not important that every question needs to be answered at that very instant. What is important is that every question needs to be answered at the right time!"
• "Anger can never be your friend. But it will not be your foe either if you channelize it with your passion to work. Anger, although a negative form of energy can be converted into something positive, only if you can restrain your galloping impulses from pushing the red button!"
• "No one is responsible for the events happening in your life. You and you alone are responsible for them, no matter how the events have started and turn out to be. Because in the end, it is always going to be you who has to bear the consequences, irrespective of whether they are good or bad."

I will probably sit and document all his words of acumen some day so that I can pass his teachings and my learnings to the next generation.

As I conclude this post, I pray for the well being of my parents and wish them all happiness and prosperity of the world. And this prayer is also for all the fathers and mothers all over the world who see their world through the eyes of their children, who live for them to see them grow healthy and successful, who slog hard for the happiness of their children and make sure their children get all those comforts, they could not get in their childhood.

Happy Father’s Day, dearest appa…!! You will remain my best friend for ever and ever and ever…!! God bless..!!